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Old 07-24-2008, 07:16 AM   #46
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
It's Queen Zee. Note the green. Note the jetpack. Note that her excessively pure heart is just over there, in that jar on the shelf (the blue one, next to the fish).

It's okay, stay still, and it won't hurt a bit (it will hurt a bloody lot!).

Cheers,
Marc (One of us! One of us!...)
how else do you think i keep it so extremely pure ? if i let it out it would probably turn cynical and jaded within 10 minutes.
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:30 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
It's okay, stay still, and it won't hurt a bit (it will hurt a bloody lot!).
Green? I thought it mean Queen Z was a superhero, you know, like the incredible hulk -- mild mannered janitor by day, superhero Hong Kong Phooey by night (with a little help from a cat).

Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

Errr... What is that small box Your Royal Zeeness? WinBH?....

<Peers at packaging and reads>
WinBH: Windows for Biological Human. The all new windows port for the ubquitious platform. This new port brings all your favourite windows features to your human acolytes, followers and apostles. Includes both the world famous remote access and control features, and the all-new Microsoft Black-Ops feature "Evil Planning Wizard". Any installed human will happily say "you appear to be developing an evil plan. Would you like to ..."
<stops reading, turns pale, starts sweating>

Look, I'm really, really sorry. I'll never do it again. I'll be good. I don't want my higher brain functions replaced with an Excel spreadsheet and be forced to communicate in Powerpoint and Word Macros.

<drops to knees and adopts pleading posture>

I'll be good, honest. I'll never darken your threads again. I'll do whatever you want. I'll... I'll, ... I'll learn French!

For the sake of you pure, eternal immortal heart please don't do it.

<reduced to sobbing, screaming wreck>
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Old 07-24-2008, 07:44 AM   #48
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zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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[little secret : i'm not evil. but i do know that even the whispered threat of windows is enough to reduce most normally configured biological humans to a huddled whimpering lump. or, you know, a sobbing, screaming wreck, as you have so aptly demonstrated just now. i keep it around just in case. you never know when an otherwise uncontrollable troll might show up with a flamethrower and several barrels of napalm. it's sort of like the Big Red Button : just knowing that it exists is enough to keep you tossing and turning in a cold sweat at night ; no point in going so far as to push it.]
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:36 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel View Post
[little secret : i'm not evil. ...
Ahhh, the catchphrase of most every Evil-Genius-Megalomaniac-With-Nefarious-Plans-For-World-Domination that ever existed or ever will exist.

You look awful pretty in black leather, my sweet. A sort-of Magenta-meets-Æon Flux mashup.

Cheers,
Riff Raff Goodchild
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:40 AM   #50
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Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyScot View Post
Green? I thought it mean Queen Z was a superhero, you know, like the incredible hulk -- mild mannered janitor by day, superhero Hong Kong Phooey by night (with a little help from a cat).

Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

Errr... What is that small box Your Royal Zeeness? WinBH?....

<Peers at packaging and reads>
WinBH: Windows for Biological Human. The all new windows port for the ubquitious platform. This new port brings all your favourite windows features to your human acolytes, followers and apostles. Includes both the world famous remote access and control features, and the all-new Microsoft Black-Ops feature "Evil Planning Wizard". Any installed human will happily say "you appear to be developing an evil plan. Would you like to ..."
<stops reading, turns pale, starts sweating>

Look, I'm really, really sorry. I'll never do it again. I'll be good. I don't want my higher brain functions replaced with an Excel spreadsheet and be forced to communicate in Powerpoint and Word Macros.

<drops to knees and adopts pleading posture>

I'll be good, honest. I'll never darken your threads again. I'll do whatever you want. I'll... I'll, ... I'll learn French!

For the sake of you pure, eternal immortal heart please don't do it.

<reduced to sobbing, screaming wreck>
we are the pandorg. resistance is futile. you will be acutelated.

except on the second tuesday of the month. we have croquet that day.
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Old 07-24-2008, 08:50 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pshrynk View Post
we are the pandorg. resistance is futile. you will be acutelated.

except on the second tuesday of the month. we have croquet that day.
hey hey, I read that as 'crochet'...
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:19 AM   #52
LazyScot
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<Whrrrr......>
Booting. To enter setup, please hit nose.
<Black Flash>
Bez-OS loading ....
<Black Flash>
Bez-OS loading ....
<Black Flash>
I am a Kindle
<Black Flash>
I am a Kindle
<Black Flash>
Warning: No WhisperNet. Will Shout.
<Black Flash>

You were reading Down on the Farm By Charles Stross. Resuming.

With thanks to Tor and Charlie for the creativity.... Please put down your copyright lawyers; no evil was intended. Please take this as a recommendation to get your own Laundry, and find your own Halting State.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:39 AM   #53
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Ah, the joys and tribulations of summer in the northeast of Scotland. Today we are shrouded in fog, even late morning as I am about to get lunch ready, (that's the midday meal to the un-initiated).
Yesterday was fine and hot, the plants suffering with the unexpected heatwave; however the day before was cold, barely reaching double figures...
Here in the countryside the swallows are showing off their offspring, with daily flights around the barn and the house.
All around is a sea of barley just starting to show a reddish tinge to the top of the ears, whilst rose-bay willow-herb comes burns reddish-pink through the gloom and the purples of the thistle attract flies and bees...

Oh the joy....not a car in sight, nor indeed another person, other than my wife- Is there anyone else alive...
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:19 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffC View Post
Ah, the joys and tribulations of summer in the northeast of Scotland. Today we are shrouded in fog, even late morning as I am about to get lunch ready, (that's the midday meal to the un-initiated).
Yesterday was fine and hot, the plants suffering with the unexpected heatwave; however the day before was cold, barely reaching double figures...
Here in the countryside the swallows are showing off their offspring, with daily flights around the barn and the house.
All around is a sea of barley just starting to show a reddish tinge to the top of the ears, whilst rose-bay willow-herb comes burns reddish-pink through the gloom and the purples of the thistle attract flies and bees...

Oh the joy....not a car in sight, nor indeed another person, other than my wife- Is there anyone else alive...
Sarch Results for ...

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Gloat. n See GeoffC.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:30 AM   #55
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cheeky whippersnapper...
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:10 AM   #56
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cheeky whippersnapper...
Search Results for "apology"

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Apology. n A matter of face saving and self-preservation. To be used sparing in moments of extreme danger. High risk of backfiring.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:02 AM   #57
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Dictionary ... 1 definition found
Apology. n A matter of face saving and self-preservation. To be used sparing in moments of extreme danger. High risk of backfiring.
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C:\
RUN EXECUTE
EXTERMINATE

ERROR
APOLOGY NOT FOUND
RETURN TO ORIGINATOR FOR PAYMENT OF
DOLLARS 300..
COMPUTATION COMPLETE

PRESS RETURN FOR NORMAL SERVICE...
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