The Vent and Rant Thread

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Now you're just being rude. Here comes the stick.

RUN AWAY! [runs away]

[Dylrob]

Dead man walking... err, running.

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

This is so unimportant but I either vent or explode.

Why do banks and retail stores train their associates to call customers by their first name? I find it extremely annoying and want to slap the crap outta them.

Today at the drive up window a 22 year old young man actually said to me....."Thanks for you business, Donna, and have a nice day."

Excuse me. I'm over 60, I don't know you, and common courtesy dictates you address people you don't know, in a business establishment by Mr, Mrs, or, God Forbid, Ms. if you must.

Especially if you're still wet behind the ears.

'sigh.

Dang young whippersnappers.

No, it IS important, DG. But what can I say here? I'm one of the cashiers trained to call customers by their first names! I don't know what the logic is, other than I suppose it's to demonstrate friendliness. I was raised Southern. Southern manners are as you describe, you address people as Mr. or Mrs. But then the feminists came along and corrupted Mrs. to Ms. Then the younger people (30's and 40's) started being obsessed by youthfulness and felt that Mrs. and Mr. sounded "too old". I've been yelled at for everything EXCEPT calling someone by their first name. No matter how hard I try, I can't read minds, and I don't know how each individual customer prefers to be addressed. I don't usually have time to actually ask each customer, either, so I'm basically darned if I do, and darned if I don't!
Sorry, DG, I sympathize, I really do - but I don't know how to fix the problem from either end, unless everyone gets into the habit of announcing their personal preferences about how they want to be addressed as soon as they start patronizing a place of business. And even then, we see so many people in a day, I'd never remember how each person wanted to be addressed.

[vivaldirules]

When I go to the grocery store, I have to swipe a membership card which gives me discounts. That card is, of course, registered to me and when the check out boy/girl tears off my receipt from the register, he/she quickly reads the name before handing it to me and says "Have a nice day, Mr. Screwball" (not my real name - no, honest). Even that I find a bit annoying. He/she doesn't know me from Adam and couldn't give a crap either. So why insult me by showing that the system they have identifies me and everyone else who shops there? That's not being personable. That's being intrusive.

[phenomshel]

We have the cards too, but they don't show us your name. We're trained to look at and call you by the name on your check, if you pay by check, or the name on your credit card slip, IF your card gives us that information (most don't). What I've done for years, is call everyone "sir" or "ma'am", and even that gets me in trouble from the younger people who say, "I'm too young to be a 'ma'am', that was my mother". Like I said to DG...I'm darned if I do, and darned if I don't. I can't please everyone, no matter what I do. If I don't use your name, I'm unfriendly. If I do use your name, I'm overfriendly, familiar, or worse, as you said, intrusive.
Everyone has different preferences on what they want to be called. But in the checkout line at your local supermarket, the cashier simply doesn't have time to ask you what you prefer to be called, and even if they did have the time, they see so many people in a day, it's highly unlikely they'd remember.
As for "couldn't give a crap"...well, maybe in Houston they don't. But in the smaller towns, (which is the only type place I have ever lived), we do give a crap. I, especially give a crap. That's why this topic bothers me, I guess. I want to make my customers happy, and I want them to remember the good customer service they got at "my" store. However, I, (and the rest of the cashiers I know) are not psychic. Heaven knows I'd like to be especially with this issue, but it hasn't happened yet.

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

When I go to the grocery store, I have to swipe a membership card which gives me discounts. That card is, of course, registered to me and when the check out boy/girl tears off my receipt from the register, he/she quickly reads the name before handing it to me and says "Have a nice day, Mr. Screwball" (not my real name - no, honest). Even that I find a bit annoying. He/she doesn't know me from Adam and couldn't give a crap either. So why insult me by showing that the system they have identifies me and everyone else who shops there? That's not being personable. That's being intrusive.

Uh-huh. There's a difference which the policymakers do NOT seem to understand.

If there are any of you on here, scratching your heads and wondering what the issue is, maybe a contrast-example will help...

1. I ring a company. Freda answers the phone with "XYZ Co, Freda speaking!". I say, "Hi, Freda, I need some help with ____" and finish the phonecall with "thanks for the help, Freda". Sometimes I've written down the person's name so I'll remember for the entire phonecall. To me, this is simple politeness which shows I've paid attention to the person herself.

2. I walk up to a checkout. A woman with "Clare" written on her nametag serves me. While I'll chat to her (if she's in the mood), I will NOT refer to her by name. Because knowing her name hasn't showed that I've listened and been interested in her communication, it just shows that a) I can read and b) I've been looking in the general direction of her boobs.

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

ROFL!! I just changed my major (a few months back) to Bus. Admin with an emphasis on HR! Wrote this one down for future reference.

*shudder*

HR people, in general, scare me silly. It's the likeness to zombies, I think. They shuffle along in their cubicles doing incomprehensible stuff. They have their own laws of reality, and seem incapable of ever using their imaginations... or even comprehending the concept. GAHHHH!!! And when you think about it, the comparison to zombies is quite fair, because most of them are just interested in your BRAINS...

That said, you're obviously completely different. Just don't let anyone bite you, OK? Please?

[neilmarr]

I'm over sixty, too. Still, whenever anyone -- of any age -- addresses me as 'Mr', I look over my shoulder, half-expecting to find my dad or granddad standing there. I've never been confortable with 'Mr'. And I detest 'sir'. Somehow, though, in France where I've lived for the past twenty-five years, 'monsiere' (when not followed by a surname, no capital, general and used almost informally) is fine. Neil

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

call you by the name on your check, if you pay by check,

You can actually still pay by check!?!?!? How quaint...

I'm not 60 yet (far from it!) but I'd find it horribly impolite if somebody would call me by my first name... Unless it's a friend or colleague, naturally. Even family can call me by my first name, but not some stranger in a store or bank.

Originally Posted by neilmarr

I'm over sixty, too. Still, whenever anyone -- of any age -- addresses me as 'Mr', I look over my shoulder, half-expecting to find my dad or granddad standing there. I've never been confortable with 'Mr'. And I detest 'sir'. Somehow, though, in France where I've lived for the past twenty-five years, 'monsiere' (when not followed by a surname, no capital, general and used almost informally) is fine. Neil

I have that too, when they say "mevrouw" (which would be something like Mrs (I think, never sure which is which in English)... and "madame" in French


Oh, and I completely forgot my own vent and rant!

My external HD won't connect! It could be the USB cable or it could be the thing died on my just like that... I (naturally) forgot my other cable (I always have two with me...) so I can't check it...

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

When I go to the grocery store, I have to swipe a membership card which gives me discounts. That card is, of course, registered to me and when the check out boy/girl tears off my receipt from the register, he/she quickly reads the name before handing it to me and says "Have a nice day, Mr. Screwball" (not my real name - no, honest). Even that I find a bit annoying. He/she doesn't know me from Adam and couldn't give a crap either. So why insult me by showing that the system they have identifies me and everyone else who shops there? That's not being personable. That's being intrusive.

Yep. I'm offended by this as well as other false "acts" of familiarity when everyone knows there isn't any. It's all a result of "marketing" research and very poor attempts at customer service.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by phenomshel

.... We're trained to look at and call you by the name on your check, if you pay by check, or the name on your credit card slip, IF your card gives us that information (most don't). What I've done for years, is call everyone "sir" or "ma'am", and even that gets me in trouble from the younger people who say, "....
....As for "couldn't give a crap"...well, maybe in Houston they don't. But in the smaller towns, (which is the only type place I have ever lived), we do give a crap. .... However, I, (and the rest of the cashiers I know) are not psychic. Heaven knows I'd like to be especially with this issue, but it hasn't happened yet.

A couple of comments on this. Your are trained to do this (as if it does not come naturally), sir, ma'am is common courtesy.

I agree with you about small towns and caring and knowing your customers, but that comes with time as you get to know them. I have gradually come to know a handful of cashiers at the local supermarkets near my house but only after several years. Then I feel the connection is valid and real, but not the first time I shop there or in a new store and certainly not when its clearly just the clerk going through the motions.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Because knowing her name hasn't showed that I've listened and been interested in her communication, it just shows that a) I can read and b) I've been looking in the general direction of her boobs.

:teameetskeyboardyetagain:

[Slite]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

:teameetskeyboardyetagain:

We definitly have to chip in for a new KB for am soon, seems she constantly is spitting tea into it.

You can send your contributions to my bankaccount...

As for being called by my first name, I HATE that when someone who have no idea who I am does that.

But what I hate even more is when people corrupts my real name into a nickname. My name is Stefan, not Steffe, not Steffo or anything stupid like that!

[kennyc]

People seem to have a hard time with my last name. I've heard so many mangelings of it that I just shake my head and laugh most of the time. Not sure why it's so hard, just sounds like it's written as far as I can tell. What surprises me these days is when someone gets it right.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by Slite

But what I hate even more is when people corrupts my real name into a nickname. My name is Stefan, not Steffe, not Steffo or anything stupid like that!

Oh I can sympathise with that. There is a very small, select group who I will tolerate calling me by one of the standard contractions of my name, and that's only because they're family.