Unutterably Silly The 2-sentences-per-post story (starring a mysterious blonde psockpuppet?)

[GeoffC]

'That's definitely it!" I thought to myself, 'I have certainly lost the plot!" ...

Now our intrepid adventurer with the PI badge twisted on his heels, catching the chin of the chinchilla and chinned it across the room; and then scarpered quickly, smartly and with panache, out of the door and into the sunlit street.

[MJK2111]

Blinded by the light, I stumbled into the street. Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes, and tried to hire me for another case.

[poohbear_nc]

Blearily, I opened my eyes and found myself back in my office, alone, bruised, battered, and reeking of chinchilla musk. As I began to reassemble my fractured psyche, the phone rang.

[MJK2111]

A sinister voice on the line said "Look out your window, gumshoe!", and the line went dead. I hung up the phone, had a good pull of scotch and stumbled over to the window.

[poohbear_nc]

Unfortunately, I stumbled over the phone cord and pulled it out of the wall. By the time I had got up off the floor and opened the window, the sidewalks were empty.

[MJK2111]

There was, however, a dark blue sedan parked up the block. I noticed two mugs in the front seat, and what appeared to be movement in the back seat.

[poohbear_nc]

Finally getting the program this time, I slammed the window shut, drew the blinds, and turned out my light. I opened the bottom drawer in the file cabinet to see if my trusty bottle still nestled among the piles of unpaid bills.

[MJK2111]

The bottle was still there, with about 4 fingers of scotch left. I sat down with the bottle, a somewhat clean coffee cup, picked up the phone and ordered a bucket of fried chicken from the local joint; I had some serious thinking to do...

[poohbear_nc]

Around half-way down the bottle, there was a loud knocking on the door and a hoarse, raspy voice yelled "Hey .... you order some chicken?" I was still sober enough (barely) to wonder if this was the start of yet another wonky adventure, so I crawled over to the door and put my good eye to the keyhole.

[MJK2111]

Not too surprisingly, all I got was a glimpse of the deliveryman's crotch. I fumbled with the lock and pulled the door open.

[poohbear_nc]

And promptly got a shiny black leather shoe in my kisser! And it wasn't a love tap!

[MJK2111]

When I awoke, there were chicken bones scattered on the floor, along with most of my files and records. Seems someone thought I had something of value hidden away.

[poohbear_nc]

I searched vainly among the bones for any fugitive bits of chicken, but my assailant had made a clean sweep of that bird. Also of my files, too, it would seem.

[GeoffC]

And then I remembered I'd pulled the phone cord out of the wall socket! That was no deliveryman, and my files were missing; now where did I put that photograph, or were they after something else ?

[poohbear_nc]

I sat down again at my desk, twirling the end of the phone cord, wondering how much it would cost me to have the blasted thing reattached, and finishing off the dregs in the bottle. Loud knocking at the door nearly sent me under the desk!