Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 333

Fbone · 05-17-2012, 02:43 PM

Why is it that to stop Microsoft Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

steven522 · 05-18-2012, 09:11 AM

"Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?"

"They do. If they didn't they'd all be football stadium sized."

Fbone · 05-18-2012, 06:10 PM

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

Fbone · 05-19-2012, 06:50 PM

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

steven522 · 05-21-2012, 10:31 AM

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Spoiler:

Lycoming · 05-21-2012, 10:31 AM

How does she do that?

http://

Lycoming · 05-21-2012, 10:37 AM

If you grow faint at anything funnier than flagellation then look away now....

Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back into play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . .. .POOF!!

In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said,'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!!

Then POOF! . . . she was gone! After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?'

Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the Pussy Willows.'

Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!'

OK you can look back now, have a quiet day now.

Fbone · 05-21-2012, 07:52 PM

You better think about the future, for it's where you will spend the rest of your life.

lostmymarbles · 05-21-2012, 08:00 PM

A cowboy walks into the bar and asks for a whiskey. And suddenly another cowboy rushes in and yells, "Joe, Joe, hurry up, your house is on fire!' And the cowboy runs to the door and then he stops and he thinks: 'Hey — I ain't got no house!" Sits back down, drinks his whiskey, and suddenly another cowboy runs into the bar shouting: "Joe, Joe, hurry up, your father is dying! The cowboy jumps up and runs out and jumps on his horse and suddenly he remembers: "I ain't got no father!" So he walks back to the bar, sits down, finishes his drink and another cowboy bursts in and he yells: "Joe, Joe, hurry up, you won the lottery and there's a million bucks for you at the post office!" The cowboy jumps to his feet, runs out of the bar, jumps on his horse, gallops to the post office, dashes in, and then he says: "Hey! My name ain't Joe! It's Bob."

yvanleterrible · 05-22-2012, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

How does she do that?

http://

Suction?

badgoodDeb · 05-22-2012, 08:00 PM

Very strong thighs.

wodin · 05-22-2012, 08:24 PM

Suspenders?

Or braces for my British friends.

Fbone · 05-22-2012, 10:15 PM

You can have a great time with a bushel of apples and the doctor's wife.

Fbone · 05-24-2012, 05:25 AM

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.

pilotbob · 05-24-2012, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Well actually!

BOb

05-21-2012, 10:31 AM	#4985
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Spoiler: ...

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

05-17-2012, 02:43 PM	#4981
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Why is it that to stop Microsoft Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

05-18-2012, 09:11 AM	#4982
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	"Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?" "They do. If they didn't they'd all be football stadium sized."

05-18-2012, 06:10 PM	#4983
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

05-19-2012, 06:50 PM	#4984
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

05-21-2012, 10:31 AM	#4986
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	How does she do that? http://

05-21-2012, 10:37 AM	#4987
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	If you grow faint at anything funnier than flagellation then look away now.... Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back into play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden . .. .POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said,'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!! Then POOF! . . . she was gone! After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?' Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the Pussy Willows.' Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!' OK you can look back now, have a quiet day now.

05-21-2012, 07:52 PM	#4988
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	You better think about the future, for it's where you will spend the rest of your life.

05-21-2012, 08:00 PM	#4989
lostmymarbles Hunger Games Survivor Posts: 182 Karma: 127802 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Melbourne Device: Kindle	A cowboy walks into the bar and asks for a whiskey. And suddenly another cowboy rushes in and yells, "Joe, Joe, hurry up, your house is on fire!' And the cowboy runs to the door and then he stops and he thinks: 'Hey — I ain't got no house!" Sits back down, drinks his whiskey, and suddenly another cowboy runs into the bar shouting: "Joe, Joe, hurry up, your father is dying! The cowboy jumps up and runs out and jumps on his horse and suddenly he remembers: "I ain't got no father!" So he walks back to the bar, sits down, finishes his drink and another cowboy bursts in and he yells: "Joe, Joe, hurry up, you won the lottery and there's a million bucks for you at the post office!" The cowboy jumps to his feet, runs out of the bar, jumps on his horse, gallops to the post office, dashes in, and then he says: "Hey! My name ain't Joe! It's Bob."

05-22-2012, 08:00 PM	#4991
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,553 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Very strong thighs.

05-22-2012, 08:24 PM	#4992
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Suspenders? Or braces for my British friends.

05-22-2012, 10:15 PM	#4993
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	You can have a great time with a bushel of apples and the doctor's wife.

05-24-2012, 05:25 AM	#4994
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.