Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 33

WT Sharpe · 10-24-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Arnie walks into his office on the monday after easter weekend all glum and depressed.

"What's up Mr Schwarzenegger? You look sad" asks his secretary.

"Oh, its nothing, just no-one bought me a single easter egg this year, so I had a rubbish easter weekend." Arnie replies.

"Aw I bet that ruined easter for you didn't it? I bet you hate easter now don't you?" comments the secretary. To which arnie replies chirpily

"Don't worry, I still love easter baby!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

I don't get it...
Is there a pun I don't understand somewhere?

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Terminator 2 - "Hasta la vista, baby"

Cheers,
Marc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

Thanks, Marc.
Now I get it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Thanks from me, too!
I'm glad that I'm not the only one to not get it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by columbus

I guess there are a few people looking at the *Kings new clothes*

Haa Haaa! I got it from ShortNCuddlyAm's original post!

... but I ain't tellin' ya' how LONG it took me to get it. Ain't nonnayer business.

mores · 10-24-2009, 06:46 PM

You know why mother-in-laws won't go to heaven?

Because dragons can't fly so high.

Okay, that one won't work in english. In german, the words for "heaven" and "sky" are identical.

ShortNCuddlyAm · 10-24-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Haa Haaa! I got it from ShortNCuddlyAm's original post!

... but I ain't tellin' ya' how LONG it took me to get it. Ain't nonnayer business.

Yay! Someone did! (apparently the sister of the girlfriend of the person who originally sent me the joke did think Arnie said "I still love Easter, baby" in T2)

And

apologies to everyone else

mores · 10-26-2009, 05:26 AM

They once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly.
His first 100 days and wham!!
Pig's flu!

Disclaimer: this is not supposed to insult, or discriminate against, anyone. It is also not supposed to be a political statement. Just funny.

kennyc · 10-26-2009, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mores

They once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly.
His first 100 days and wham!!
Pig's flu!

Disclaimer: this is not supposed to insult, or discriminate against, anyone. It is also not supposed to be a political statement. Just funny.

WT Sharpe · 10-26-2009, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mores

They once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly.
His first 100 days and wham!!
Pig's flu!

Disclaimer: this is not supposed to insult, or discriminate against, anyone. It is also not supposed to be a political statement. Just funny.

I love Obama, and I laughed so hard, I have nothing left with which to sit.

olla86 · 10-27-2009, 11:33 AM

Before marriage:
She : Hi
He : Oh, I've been waiting this ...
She : You want me to go ?
He : no, Not at all
She : do you love me ?
He : of course, big time
She : you picked the wrong woman ??
He : no, why do you say that ?
She : you wanna kiss me ?
He : every time I see you !!
She : you wanna slap me ??
He : are you crazy ? never
She : can I trust you ?
He : yes
She : My love
...
after marriage
Read the same text upwards ...
________________
Try the best myspace icons.

Lycoming · 10-28-2009, 04:11 PM

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.

"Nothing," shrugged the woman, " I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

Lycoming · 10-28-2009, 04:14 PM

This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide.
The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what he
wanted it for. He answered, "I want to kill my wife." "I'm sorry Sir," the
pharmacist replied, "but you will have to understand under such circumstances I can't sell you any Cyanide."
The guy reaches into his wallet and produces a photo of his wife.
The pharmacist looks at the photo of the ugliest woman he has ever
seen, blushes and replies, "I am sorry Sir, let me get it for you... I
didn't realize you had a prescription."

Lycoming · 10-28-2009, 04:36 PM

Question:
If a man is in the forest and says anything with no woman around, is he still wrong?

mores · 10-29-2009, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

Question:
If a man is in the forest and says anything with no woman around, is he still wrong?

Oh, so true ...

badgoodDeb · 10-29-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

Question:
If a man is in the forest and says anything with no woman around, is he still wrong?

Actually, if you are waiting for an answer: Yes, of course he is still wrong!

roger the rabbit · 10-29-2009, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Actually, if you are waiting for an answer: Yes, of course he is still wrong!

Figures!!

Xenophon · 10-29-2009, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Actually, if you are waiting for an answer: Yes, of course he is still wrong!

Unless what he was saying is "Yes, dear!"

Xenophon

ShortNCuddlyAm · 10-29-2009, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xenophon

Unless what he was saying is "Yes, dear!"

Xenophon

Nah - he's prolly saying that to the wrong thing

10-27-2009, 11:33 AM	#487
olla86 Junior Member Posts: 5 Karma: 10 Join Date: Oct 2009 Device: none	Before marriage: She : Hi He : Oh, I've been waiting this ... She : You want me to go ? He : no, Not at all She : do you love me ? He : of course, big time She : you picked the wrong woman ?? He : no, why do you say that ? She : you wanna kiss me ? He : every time I see you !! She : you wanna slap me ?? He : are you crazy ? never She : can I trust you ? He : yes She : My love ... after marriage Read the same text upwards ... ________________ Try the best myspace icons. Last edited by olla86; 11-03-2009 at 04:20 AM.

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10-24-2009, 06:46 PM	#482
mores Guru Posts: 834 Karma: 102419 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vienna, Austria Device: iPhone	You know why mother-in-laws won't go to heaven? Because dragons can't fly so high. Okay, that one won't work in english. In german, the words for "heaven" and "sky" are identical.

10-26-2009, 05:26 AM	#484
mores Guru Posts: 834 Karma: 102419 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vienna, Austria Device: iPhone	They once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. His first 100 days and wham!! Pig's flu! Disclaimer: this is not supposed to insult, or discriminate against, anyone. It is also not supposed to be a political statement. Just funny.

10-28-2009, 04:11 PM	#488
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, " I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

10-28-2009, 04:14 PM	#489
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide. The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what he wanted it for. He answered, "I want to kill my wife." "I'm sorry Sir," the pharmacist replied, "but you will have to understand under such circumstances I can't sell you any Cyanide." The guy reaches into his wallet and produces a photo of his wife. The pharmacist looks at the photo of the ugliest woman he has ever seen, blushes and replies, "I am sorry Sir, let me get it for you... I didn't realize you had a prescription."

10-28-2009, 04:36 PM	#490
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Question: If a man is in the forest and says anything with no woman around, is he still wrong?