Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 329

Fbone · 05-01-2012, 05:10 PM

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for 5 minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

Stitchawl · 05-01-2012, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mel Comley

"Not yet," she replied.

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

She screamed, "That's just for starters."

The level of humor is going up!!!

Stitchawl

orlok · 05-02-2012, 01:57 PM

I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing.

"It's not to my taste," he replied.

badgoodDeb · 05-02-2012, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing.

"It's not to my taste," he replied.

You're going to make us look it up, aren't you??!

orlok · 05-02-2012, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

You're going to make us look it up, aren't you??!

There was someone talking about in in one of the threads recently - Stitchawl, maybe? So I thought it was quite topical.

And yes, you'll have to look it up

.

Stitchawl · 05-02-2012, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing.

"It's not to my taste," he replied.

Stitchawl

cromag · 05-02-2012, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

There was someone talking about in in one of the threads recently - Stitchawl, maybe? So I thought it was quite topical.

And yes, you'll have to look it up

.

So, you weren't worried that joke might be off-color?

Fbone · 05-03-2012, 04:39 AM

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

Lycoming · 05-03-2012, 10:58 AM

Look away now to avoid frustrating lack of humour....

Three Hillbillies Billy Bob, Joe Bob and James Earl are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'My wife sure is stupid! She bought an air conditioner.'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'Why is that stupid?'

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!'

1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'Why is that so stupid?'

2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'

3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'

1st and 2nd Hillbillies Billy Bob and Joe Bob both say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'

3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: 'She ain't got no pecker.'

OK Look back now, have a nice day.

Lycoming · 05-03-2012, 11:03 AM

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

WT Sharpe · 05-03-2012, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing.

"It's not to my taste," he replied.

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

You're going to make us look it up, aren't you??!

I knew what it was. Guess it's all those science article I read.

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

There was someone talking about in in one of the threads recently - Stitchawl, maybe? So I thought it was quite topical....

Might have been me. I mentioned that the overall color of Beethoven's Fifth was Dark Olive Drab.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

So, you weren't worried that joke might be off-color?

orlok · 05-03-2012, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Might have been me. I mentioned that the overall color of Beethoven's Fifth was Dark Olive Drab.

Yes, I think that was the conversation. And I thought his 6th, the Pastoral, would surely be greener...?

wodin · 05-03-2012, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing.

"It's not to my taste," he replied.

Here in the beautiful Sandwich Isles, a more typical answer would be “It’s too LOUD.”

Lycoming · 05-03-2012, 03:17 PM

Honest, this happened Tuesday.

I was having my haircut in a mixed salon. The lady next to me said, "My late mother in law....."

I looked across and asked her to repeat what she said, as it had a certain ring to it.

orlok · 05-03-2012, 03:44 PM

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back.

What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family? Out of ideas, he loaded everybody into his van and rushed to the hospital. He explained the situation, and his family was whisked off to surgery.

Hours later, the surgeon emerged.

"How are they?" the magician asked.

"Comfortable."

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

05-01-2012, 05:10 PM	#4921
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for 5 minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

05-02-2012, 01:57 PM	#4923
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	I asked my mate with synesthesia what he thought of the new shirt I was wearing. "It's not to my taste," he replied.

05-03-2012, 04:39 AM	#4928
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

05-03-2012, 10:58 AM	#4929
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Look away now to avoid frustrating lack of humour.... Three Hillbillies Billy Bob, Joe Bob and James Earl are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. 1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'My wife sure is stupid! She bought an air conditioner.' 2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'Why is that stupid?' 1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!' 2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!' 1st Hillbilly Billy Bob says: 'Why is that so stupid?' 2nd Hillbilly Joe Bob says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!' 3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.' 1st and 2nd Hillbillies Billy Bob and Joe Bob both say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?' 3rd Hillbilly James Earl says: 'She ain't got no pecker.' OK Look back now, have a nice day.

05-03-2012, 11:03 AM	#4930
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

05-03-2012, 03:17 PM	#4934
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Honest, this happened Tuesday. I was having my haircut in a mixed salon. The lady next to me said, "My late mother in law....." I looked across and asked her to repeat what she said, as it had a certain ring to it.

05-03-2012, 03:44 PM	#4935
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back. What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family? Out of ideas, he loaded everybody into his van and rushed to the hospital. He explained the situation, and his family was whisked off to surgery. Hours later, the surgeon emerged. "How are they?" the magician asked. "Comfortable."