Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 32

Format C: · 10-20-2009, 06:20 AM

Thanks, Marc.
Now I get it!

montsnmags · 10-20-2009, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

Thanks, Marc.
Now I get it!

...and now that you get it, you can respond with :groan:

(she won't mind - I'm pretty sure she was expecting everyone to

)

Cheers,
Marc

rebarnmom · 10-20-2009, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

Thanks, Marc.
Now I get it!

Thanks from me, too!
I'm glad that I'm not the only one to not get it.

columbus · 10-20-2009, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Thanks from me, too!
I'm glad that I'm not the only one to not get it.

I guess there are a few people looking at the *Kings new clothes*

Lycoming · 10-20-2009, 04:25 PM

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.

The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating)..

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was really lucky.

Lycoming · 10-20-2009, 04:26 PM

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.

She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

The drunk says: "Tits."

Lycoming · 10-20-2009, 04:28 PM

A Prayer for daddy

"Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."

pilotbob · 10-20-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.

She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

The drunk says: "Tits."

BOb

columbus · 10-21-2009, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her.

The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating)..

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was really lucky.

rebarnmom · 10-21-2009, 08:37 PM

Daddy, How was I born?
=======================

A little boy asks his father, "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat
room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and
we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and
googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from
my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered
that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too
late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up
appeared that said:

You've Got Male!

kenmark · 10-21-2009, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

You've Got Male!

Twins?.

pilotbob · 10-21-2009, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

You've Got Male!

See post https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...&postcount=456

BOb

rebarnmom · 10-21-2009, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

See post https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...&postcount=456

BOb

How did I miss that one? So sorry!

(It was sooooo good, it beared repeating!

)
Yours is better with the winking pic!

kennyc · 10-21-2009, 09:52 PM

What did Curly say to Larry and Moe when asked about the new B&N ereader?

nuk nuk nuk...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKtwlHV1-O8

Lycoming · 10-22-2009, 03:08 PM

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 AM EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.
My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Gos, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto. An armed society makes for a more civil society!

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10-20-2009, 06:20 AM	#466
Format C: Guru Posts: 753 Karma: 1496807 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Third World Device: iLiad + PRS-505 + Kindle 3	Thanks, Marc. Now I get it!

10-20-2009, 04:25 PM	#470
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year. Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren't with her. The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating).. The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft. She was really lucky.

10-20-2009, 04:26 PM	#471
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..." The drunk says: "Tits."

10-20-2009, 04:28 PM	#472
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	A Prayer for daddy "Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer, Amen."

10-21-2009, 08:37 PM	#475
rebarnmom Wizard Posts: 1,289 Karma: 4525055 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: rural Illinois, USA Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650	Daddy, How was I born? ======================= A little boy asks his father, "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You've Got Male!

10-21-2009, 09:52 PM	#479
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,903 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	What did Curly say to Larry and Moe when asked about the new B&N ereader? nuk nuk nuk... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKtwlHV1-O8

10-22-2009, 03:08 PM	#480
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 AM EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Gos, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex P.S. Remember this motto. An armed society makes for a more civil society!