Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 307

wannabee · 03-03-2012, 12:49 AM

Daithi · 03-03-2012, 01:59 AM

Who loves you more, your dog or your spouse?

Lock them both into the trunk of your car for a 1/2 hour. When you let them out see which one of them forgives you first.

orlok · 03-03-2012, 06:37 AM

Went around to a friend's house today. His wife was there with their new-born baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.

Fbone · 03-03-2012, 10:45 PM

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

WT Sharpe · 03-04-2012, 01:02 AM

And with increased maturity comes the discovery that the knob can't be turned far enough to the right.

Stitchawl · 03-04-2012, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

And with increased maturity comes the discovery that the knob can't be turned far enough to the right.

Eh? What's that?
My wife hasn't been able to yell at me for the last 5 years!

Stitchawl

pilotbob · 03-04-2012, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Eh? What's that?
My wife hasn't been able to yell at me for the last 5 years!

Stitchawl

I think this is why my wife was so happy that I got hearing aids.

BOb

Fbone · 03-04-2012, 06:15 PM

The formula for a happy marriage is the same as the one for living in California: When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

Stitchawl · 03-04-2012, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I think this is why my wife was so happy that I got hearing aids.

BOb

Me too, but I solved the problem. I forget to buy batteries...

Stitchawl

Daithi · 03-05-2012, 09:28 AM

It's only funny until someone gets hurt - THEN IT'S HILARIOUS

orlok · 03-05-2012, 12:52 PM

Forget about the past, you can't change it.

Forget about the future, you can't predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

PeterT · 03-05-2012, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I think this is why my wife was so happy that I got hearing aids.

BOb

Are those what you get from Aural Sex ?

pilotbob · 03-05-2012, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

Are those what you get from Aural Sex ?

Nice one.

Fbone · 03-05-2012, 09:50 PM

The next time your mind goes blank, do all of us a favor -- turn off the sound.

wannabee · 03-05-2012, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

Are those what you get from Aural Sex ?

Absolutely not!

Spoiler:

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03-03-2012, 12:49 AM	#4591
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS

03-03-2012, 01:59 AM	#4592
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles	Who loves you more, your dog or your spouse? Lock them both into the trunk of your car for a 1/2 hour. When you let them out see which one of them forgives you first.

03-03-2012, 06:37 AM	#4593
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Went around to a friend's house today. His wife was there with their new-born baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.

03-03-2012, 10:45 PM	#4594
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

03-04-2012, 01:02 AM	#4595
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	And with increased maturity comes the discovery that the knob can't be turned far enough to the right.

03-04-2012, 06:15 PM	#4598
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The formula for a happy marriage is the same as the one for living in California: When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

03-05-2012, 09:28 AM	#4600
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles	It's only funny until someone gets hurt - THEN IT'S HILARIOUS

03-05-2012, 12:52 PM	#4601
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.

03-05-2012, 09:50 PM	#4604
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The next time your mind goes blank, do all of us a favor -- turn off the sound.