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Old 05-21-2010, 04:56 AM   #31
SneakySnake
I'm watching you!
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We both watched silently as the ugliest hariest beast I had ever seen crept past the window. "That's him?"
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:08 AM   #32
omk3
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"I..I..I'm not sure", she stuttered. "All gibbons look a bit alike, don't they?"
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:14 AM   #33
Peverel
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"But that one's quite distinctive", I said.

"It's wearing a fedora and carrying a book by Nietzsche"
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:18 AM   #34
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"That's amazing! I never notice such things - that's why you're a PI and I'm not, I suppose", she giggled.
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:48 AM   #35
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"That's right", I told her. "The thing I can't figure out though, is how he crept past the window when we're 4 stories up"!
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:10 AM   #36
MJK2111
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"Maybe he used a bat-rope from his utility belt," she mused. "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is she?" I remembered thinking.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:15 AM   #37
FlorenceArt
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And did a double-take; why was I remembering something as it was happening? The answer was obvious.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:31 AM   #38
LazyScot
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I pressed the reset button, removed the cable from the back of my skull, and the direct brain insertion virtual reality simulation ended. But to my amazement I found the buxom blonde and the angry ape standing in front of me, looking quizzically in my direction holding, respectively and surpisingly, a banana and a pair of stilettos.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:42 AM   #39
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"Who are you, how did you get in here, what are you doing in the Private Investigators Training School and is that banana loaded?" I asked. (And yes, we do call this place the pits.)
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:44 AM   #40
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Luckily I knew how to defend myself against fresh fruit. But wait...had we done bananas? (and was it fresh?)
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:59 AM   #41
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"No," said the blonde but the rest of her words were drowned out by a gunshot and pain ringing in my ears. Damn, I thought as I collapsed in front of the smoking stilettos the ape was holding, I really should have done the course on how to protect yourself from a stiletto in the hands of a primate.
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:19 AM   #42
Poppa1956
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As I drifted out of consciousness, two mad images drifted in and out of my mind. A newsprint photo of a man in uniform, under the headline "REGICIDE!" and Groucho Marx singing Lydia, The Tatooed Lady."
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:22 PM   #43
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Bah! Humbug!
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Some time later, don't ask me how much, I ungummed my eyelids and looked up into the ugliest moniker I had ever seen. Then I turned from the mirror and there she was again, minus the ape.
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:56 PM   #44
MJK2111
FUBAR!
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My superior powers of observation also noted that she was minus her dress."Uh oh." I silently quipped, "This can only mean one thing!"
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Old 05-21-2010, 02:41 PM   #45
Peverel
Still Easily Confused
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"Laundry day again?" I asked.

Passing her my spare, incase of emergency, super fluffy, travel robe.
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