Why do people get so hot under the collar about sex in thrillers?

[Namekuseijin]

why not describe a character laboriously taking a sh*t? Or devoting 2 pages for his shaving his beard? No plot advancement, just gratuitous action to fill in pages while the author thinks next what to write. But those are not fillers that sell, like sex or explosions.

[jrlewis]

I just recently wrote a sex scene for my third novel (because it was necessary to the plot) and it was one of the more awkward things I have ever done in life.

Because how do you write about sex without partly drawing on your own direct experience? And then you know that readers will (partially) relate that scene to you as a human being, which is bizarre and intrusive.

Part of it is our American Puritanical hang-ups, but part of it is knowing that sex is far more personal than explosions or food or chases. People who like action mostly like the same action, but sex?

[sportourer1]

It is odd, wondering if readers are asking themselves the question, " how does he know about that !!!!!!!!!!!!" But is it that different to writing about other flights of imagination? Or maybe we have been there and signed the guest book?

let them wonder I say, thats the beauty of reading after all.

[Lirael]

I think part of the reasons sex scenes tend to stick out as gratuitous is that a lot of authors, who are otherwise extremely skilled at writing, simply can't write them well. So, they end up being ridiculous and making readers wish the author would get back to the gunfights/car chases/whatever already.

I admit I'm guilty of skipping sex scenes in books, not out of any sort of prudishness but because the writing made me laugh and it was breaking my suspension of disbelief.