Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 296

Ajax · 01-21-2012, 07:54 PM

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies)

"Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn't she adorable?"

Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."

Father: "I was talking about the nurse."

WT Sharpe · 01-22-2012, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Stitchawl

Daithi · 01-22-2012, 08:24 PM

orlok · 01-23-2012, 10:43 AM

Lying in bed the 72 year old man was seriously ill. Knowing that death would come soon the man called his lawyer.

"I was thinking how you told me I could get a law degree if I had enough money to buy one. How much does it cost again?"

"It's $65,000," replied the lawyer. "But you are dying! Why would you want to have a law degree now?"

"That is none of your concern", replied the dying man. "I want you to get me that law certification!"

Within the week, the sick man had received his law degree. Of course his lawyer quickly came to his side, to make sure the bill would be paid in full.

Within moments the old man began having trouble breathing and was gasping for air. It was clear he would not live much longer.

The lawyer was going nuts not knowing why this man would want a law degree and pay so much for it when he knew the end was near.

"please, please can't you tell me why you wanted this law degree so desperately before you died?"

Barely able to speak and on his last dying breath, the old man said,

"One less lawyer..."

Ajax · 01-23-2012, 04:21 PM

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

Fbone · 01-23-2012, 04:42 PM

I before E except after C. We live in a weird society!

Stitchawl · 01-24-2012, 06:14 AM

Stitchawl

wodin · 01-24-2012, 12:23 PM

Yes, I've seen it before; but I'm not sure if it was here or somewhere else. That being said, it's one of those classics that bears repeating; I laughed as hard this time as I did the first. Karma to you!

Fbone · 01-24-2012, 06:09 PM

I believe that dust protects furniture.

WT Sharpe · 01-24-2012, 07:03 PM

Please, folks, let's remember that MobileRead is a Family-Friendly/Workplace-Safe site. Let's leave the potty-humor to other sites. Thanks.

Pookeysgirl · 01-25-2012, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Please, folks, let's remember that MobileRead is a Family-Friendly/Workplace-Safe site. Let's leave the potty-humor to other sites. Thanks.

That was me, I apologize. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

WT Sharpe · 01-25-2012, 10:59 AM

You weren't the only one, but thanks.

wodin · 01-25-2012, 12:23 PM

Wouldn't you know it? I handed out karma for a deleted post! O well, I at lease enjoyed it! What's that say 'bout me?

MJK2111 · 01-25-2012, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Wouldn't you know it? I handded out karma for a deleted post! O well, I at lease enjoyed it! What's that say 'bout me?

That you're a gentleman, a scholar, a fine judge of whiskey, and you know all the good looking women?

Pookeysgirl · 01-25-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

That you're a gentleman, a scholar, a fine judge of whiskey, and you know all the good looking women?

01-24-2012, 07:03 PM	#4435
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Please, folks, let's remember that MobileRead is a Family-Friendly/Workplace-Safe site. Let's leave the potty-humor to other sites. Thanks. Last edited by WT Sharpe; 01-24-2012 at 07:06 PM.

01-25-2012, 12:23 PM	#4438
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Wouldn't you know it? I handed out karma for a deleted post! O well, I at lease enjoyed it! What's that say 'bout me? Last edited by wodin; 01-25-2012 at 04:19 PM. Reason: typo

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01-21-2012, 07:54 PM	#4426
Ajax Addict Posts: 386 Karma: 17083352 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas Device: K4 Touch, Kindle Fire, HP Touchpad	Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn't she adorable?" Friend: "But your kid didn't smile." Father: "I was talking about the nurse."

01-22-2012, 08:24 PM	#4428
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles

01-23-2012, 10:43 AM	#4429
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	Lying in bed the 72 year old man was seriously ill. Knowing that death would come soon the man called his lawyer. "I was thinking how you told me I could get a law degree if I had enough money to buy one. How much does it cost again?" "It's $65,000," replied the lawyer. "But you are dying! Why would you want to have a law degree now?" "That is none of your concern", replied the dying man. "I want you to get me that law certification!" Within the week, the sick man had received his law degree. Of course his lawyer quickly came to his side, to make sure the bill would be paid in full. Within moments the old man began having trouble breathing and was gasping for air. It was clear he would not live much longer. The lawyer was going nuts not knowing why this man would want a law degree and pay so much for it when he knew the end was near. "please, please can't you tell me why you wanted this law degree so desperately before you died?" Barely able to speak and on his last dying breath, the old man said, "One less lawyer..."

01-23-2012, 04:21 PM	#4430
Ajax Addict Posts: 386 Karma: 17083352 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas Device: K4 Touch, Kindle Fire, HP Touchpad	A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!" The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl, and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

01-23-2012, 04:42 PM	#4431
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I before E except after C. We live in a weird society!

01-24-2012, 06:14 AM	#4432
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Stitchawl

01-24-2012, 12:23 PM	#4433
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Yes, I've seen it before; but I'm not sure if it was here or somewhere else. That being said, it's one of those classics that bears repeating; I laughed as hard this time as I did the first. Karma to you!

01-24-2012, 06:09 PM	#4434
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I believe that dust protects furniture.

01-25-2012, 10:59 AM	#4437
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	You weren't the only one, but thanks.