Unutterably Silly Escape Committee

[zelda_pinwheel]

that was good thinking. i can't stay in my chair either when i hear Come on Eileen.

[Patricia]

Could I borrow the jukebox for Christmas, please?

[zelda_pinwheel]

well, i don't mind. you'll have to ask lazy scot if he has plans for it though.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

that was good thinking. i can't stay in my chair either when i hear Come on Eileen.

You can't stay in your chair; my food can't stay in my stomach. It's all a rich tapestry.

Cheers,
Marc

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

You can't stay in your chair; my food can't stay in my stomach. It's all a rich tapestry.

Cheers,
Marc

this from the man whose favorite song is "ça plane pour moi" by plastic bertrand*.


*did you know, it turns out he's still around.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

this from the man whose favorite song is "ça plane pour moi" by plastic bertrand*.

Now, now, it doesn't do for the Queen to disparage the song that inspired her ministerial anthem.

*did you know, it turns out he's still around.

He looks a little like Daniel Craig...well, if Daniel Craig didn't work out or eat, and took a hell of a lot of drugs from 1977 up until about 24 hours before that photo was taken.

Cheers,
Marc

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Now, now, it doesn't do for the Queen to disparage the song that inspired her ministerial anthem.

well, i make an allowance for the (quite brilliant, despite its questionable inspiration) anthem, you know.

He looks a little like Daniel Craig...well, if Daniel Craig didn't work out or eat, and took a hell of a lot of drugs from 1977 up until about 24 hours before that photo was taken.

Cheers,
Marc

[pshrynk]

Hey, can I add a snowblower that does my farking sidewalks by itself, without asking and before I have to drive my truck out the farking drive, while we're at it? Can't think of why I didn't put that on the list when we were making it originally...

[LazyScot]

"Here we are," said the jukebox, and opened the door into a room which opened out onto a huge green field. The room and field were full of all sort of small furry pets.

"Arggghhhh," screamed LazyScot, as he jumped into the JukeBox's arms. "What are THOSE????"

"Chinchillas," said the BatAI. "Why?" And at that point all the chinchilla's waved at LazyScot, reached behind themselves at put on pointed little "Merry Christmas" hats.

"They look like squirrels," squeaked LazyScot as he climbed on top of the JukeBox and attempted to keep it between him and the chinchillas.

"Awwww, they're cute," said the JukeBox. "Would you like to dance?" it asked the chinchillas, who uniformly nodded. "A Cha-cha-cha?", to which the chinchillas nodded even more enthusiastically.

"Noooooo," screamed LazyScot as he leapt into an animal pen as the JukeBox and chinchillas started their cha-cha-cha.

"I will admit that is not a sight you normally expect to see," said Nekokami, whilst watching the dancing rodents and electronics.

"What the…?" said LazyScot looking at the animal directly in front of him.

"That would be one of the angora rabbits," said the BatAI with an authorative tone.

"Ummm… Why has it started doing that? Whatever that is?" asked LazyScot, as he was nearly hypnotised by its fur which seemed to be glowing in rotating colours like a fiber-optic lamp.

"Because it, in fact all of them are special angora rabbits. And that's not all they can do. Remember where you are. By the way, have you ever seen Wallace and Grommit's "A Close Shave"?" asked the BatAI.

"Yes"

"Do you remember the scenes with the sheep getting organised whilst escaping from Preston's evil dog food plans?"

"Yes"

"Well, the people involved in the rabbits are great fans of those scenes." And with that fifteen gently glowing angora rabbits re-arranged them into an inverted pyramid.

"I want the safety of the Lounge. Now," decided LazyScot. "Let's collect the rabbits and get out of here." Before LazyScot could start collecting the rabbits, they clambered up onto the top of the JukeBox where they organised themselves into what looked like a giant, surreal, glowing big hair wig. LazyScot looked on, blinked slowly, twice, turned to the door, opened it and said "let's go."

[LazyScot]

LazyScot, Zelda, Nekokami, the JukeBox topped by the angora rabbits and hitch-hiking chinchillas reached the T-junction at the same time as the Pandaborg. Pandaborg-B looked at the jukebox, topped with the colourful angora rabbits, which were performing ever more complex (and geometrically incredible) rabbit pyramids, each time to a round of enthusiastic applause from the chinchillas (who were still wearing their Merry Christmas hats).

"I see you got the music and rabbits, " said Pandaborg-B eventually, clearly deciding not to ask about the chinchillas or the cheerleading team performance taking place on the JukeBox. "Shall we head back?"

LazyScot looked at the group of Pandaborg, and carefully counted. "Let me guess, someone asked some searching question?"

"Me um heap-big chief!" replied the recently acutelated Pandaborg who was wearing native America clothing.

"Don't let that silly tourist stereotype fool you, he's read all the Pratchett books!" said the Pandaborg policeman, slapping his new friend on the back.

Pandaborg-B shrugged as if to say, "hey, no harm done." At the same time, Pandaborg-R glared at Pandaborg-B in a way that did imply deep friendship. Whether this was because he had been apparently reduced to a non-speaking part, he was annoyed about yet another acutelation or for some deeper, darker reason could not be divined.

As they group headed back to the overloaded BatPickUp, which they could see through the glass front of the POOP building, LazyScot observed "I think we have a problem."

"pity the batai isn't called huston, " giggled Zelda.

"No, seriously. We've now got this jukebox and an extra Pandaborg. How are going to get all this back. The BatPickUp is already overloaded, and there's no space in the trailer with the llamas, and we've already filled up the Pandborg Harley's as much as we can."
"He's got a point," said the BatAI. "And no, I'm not called Huston."

"Oh, it's no problem," said Pandaborg-B with a delighted smile, which got LazyScot very worried who was only distracted by a particularly loud round of applause from the chinchillas just as they reached the pickup. "I'm going to enjoy this!"

And with that he passed his Harley over to the Pandaborg Indian, and unloaded the VentureOne. The JukeBox jumped up to the space in the batPickUp where the VentureOne had been, whilst the rabbits and chinchillas squeezed into the back of the VentureOne. And with that, Pandaborg-B got into the VentureOne, pressed the amber start button to the sound of silence.

"Hello, where would you like to go?" asked Penelope Cruz/VentureOne.

"Hello, georgeous; what's your network address, " asked the BatAI, perhaps too enthusiastically.

"Oh, hello. Sure." And with that the BatAI and VentureOneAI started whistling melodically at each other for a few seconds, before falling silent.

"If you've quite finished exchanging telephone numbers, could we PLEASE get back to the Lounge?" asked LazyScot, slightly irritatedly. And after a few more seconds added, "BatAI???!"

"What? Huh? Sorry sure," replied the BatAI, albeit with the sound of Penelope Cruz giggling in the background.

"I don't think Steve Jordan is going to be too pleased with that," observed Nekokami as they squeezed back into the BatPickUp. And with that, the convoy headed back towards the lounge.

"Uh-oh!" said the BatAI, after about a minute.

"Uh-oh? How uh-oh? What uh-oh?" said a suddenly re-nervous LazyScot.

"I think one of the Google search engines has become fully sentient and has take exception to our little shopping trip. I think… Owww. Oi!" said the BatAI

"Ouch, don't you dare," said Penny.

"Right, that's it…." Said the BatAI followed by silence.

"BatAI?" asked a shocked LazyScot. The silence continued.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

"pity the batai isn't called huston, " giggled Zelda.

heh. Lazy Scot knows me so well. i'm just waiting for a chance to say that.

"BatAI?" asked a shocked LazyScot. The silence continued.

oh NO !!!! now what ????

[LazyScot]

"BATAI???" screamed LazyScot, as the BatPickup he was driving swerved.

"He's gone," said Penny

"What?" said a very confused LazyScot to a suddenly sinking heavy feeling.

"Sorry, I mean he's off fighting a Google Search Engine."

"A little bit of explanation would be appreciated," said a somewhat relieved LazyScot.

"Okay. It seems that a Google search engine suddenly became sentient, conscious and for some reason we don't yet know, extremely annoyed with us. It took it a bit to locate us, and as soon as it did, it tried first taking over the BatAI, and then it decided to try and taking over me. This really upset the BatAI, who promptly tried to defend me, " explained Penny, with a very wistful tone during the last sentence.

"That doesn't sound too good to me," observed LazyScot.

"Oh, he should be fine. I loaned him a couple of my Montsmag Enterprises (Cyberwarfare Division) munitions and armaments libraries as he was leaving. And he certainly seems to have kept the search engine busy. I'm not detecting any attacks, though there do appear to be sporadic spasms on the internet."

And so, whilst Penny and LazyScot talked, BatAI and the Google Search Engine fought a mighty battle, debating across the internet, flying from site to site, congesting links and confusing sysadmins with strange network usage patterns, and many people on the internet had somewhat strange experiences. For example, Mrs Tellis, of North Wales, was looking for new sofa and instead was presented with a recipe for chocolate marmite. She was so surprised she rushed off to write a letter to Radio 4. Meanwhile, Silverstrus MacAvity Bastet the Third, the ruling cat overlord of 423 Magnolia Avenue, whilst browsing the Cat News Network, was shocked to read that catnip had just been classified as a class A drug and that mandatory blood tests where to be introduced on all cats on a daily basis. Mr Andrew MacNeil nearly passed out when, whilst reading his favourite website, found that every advert was not only of interest and relevance to him, but that they were adverting products at the lowest prices, including delivery and taxes, and that they were in stock and available for delivery.

All this activity was missed by the worlds' military, where the sole impact was the appearance of a few lolcat pictures on junior officers screens, and an un-noticed reduction in stock levels on a few computers.

"Uh-oh," said Penny. "Ah.. Only the mark III – no problem."

"I'm getting worried again," said LazyScot.

"It seems that the Google engine has launched some missiles against us. But they're only the mark III models; incredibly easy for my countermeasures," responded Penny, and with that six tiny bright lights streaked away from the VentureOne riding away on trails of smoke. And with that the team carried on driving back to the secret conceal entrance to the Bat Tunnel that was also the secret escape from the Lounge.

"Sorry about that," said the BatAI after about five minutes, startling everyone.

"Are you okay?" asked Penny nervously.

"What happened, and are we safe from the Google engine?" ask LazyScot.

"Yes, I'm fine, Penny. As for the Google Engine we had something of a heated discussion, which I was definitely winning, when it suddenly disappeared."

"My hero," said Penny, sincerely.

"I can't take credit for this," said BatAI, embarrassedly. "It seems that it got hit with a whole collection of copyright lawsuits from Scott Adams' lawyers over infringement of a cartoon strip in which a server becomes sentient. I think it would have also been hit by some from Charlie Stross' as well over the 419, his planned sequel to Halting State, but he was down the pub at the time."

"I still think you're my hero," cooed Penny.

"Anyhow," flustered out the embarrassed BatAI, "it fled, unfortunately I've no idea where it went, despite looking for it. The only thing is, I think it still wants LazyScot—it's really annoyed about the stuff you moved onto your key."

"What? The movies?" said LazyScot, confusedly.

"Nope, the story. It seems it hadn't finished reading it and is really pissed of about not know if Vera and Harvness get to kiss. Strange."

"Ummmm," said LazyScot. "Look, here's the entrance to the tunnel. Quick open it."

And so, at long last, the intrepid team, together with their new additions disappear into a tunnel entrance that was then promptly concealed behind bushed and a road barrier, and head back to the back cave.

"What took you so long?" ask the assembled loungers are the shoppers pulled to a halt and got out.

"Didn't you leave with two Pandaborg, not eight?" asked pshrynk.

"Good grief, you'd think you'd be glad to see us back. At least you could help us get this stuff out and help set up for tonight's party….." grumped an un-appreciated LazyScot.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

All this activity was missed by the worlds' military, where the sole impact was the appearance of a few lolcat pictures on junior officers screens, and an un-noticed reduction in stock levels on a few computers.

"Anyhow," flustered out the embarrassed BatAI, "it fled, unfortunately I've no idea where it went, despite looking for it. The only thing is, I think it still wants LazyScot—it's really annoyed about the stuff you moved onto your key."

"What? The movies?" said LazyScot, confusedly.

"Nope, the story. It seems it hadn't finished reading it and is really pissed of about not know if Vera and Harvness get to kiss. Strange."

"Good grief, you'd think you'd be glad to see us back. At least you could help us get this stuff out and help set up for tonight's party….." grumped an un-appreciated LazyScot.

aw ! lazyscot, i appreciate you more than you can even imagine. i appreciate the mysterious (heheheh) brown sack, the dancing jukebox, the pandorg and llama shopping teams, the military lolcats, and possibly most of all, the sentient google search engine who wants to know whether vera and harvness kiss.

[BookishDreamer]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Meanwhile, Silverstrus MacAvity Bastet the Third, the ruling cat overlord of 423 Magnolia Avenue, whilst browsing the Cat News Network, was shocked to read that catnip had just been classified as a class A drug and that mandatory blood tests where to be introduced on all cats on a daily basis.

Hey, Zelda! This explains your cats' behavior today. They were drugged.

Dreamer

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by BookishDreamer

Hey, Zelda! This explains your cats' behavior today. They were drugged.

Dreamer

i'm pretty sure drugs are involved, but i don't think they're limited to just today...