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#391 |
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DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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"What date is it?" I asked with some trepidation.
"Friday, 2nd July," replied Alice, "and now you answer my question." |
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#392 |
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Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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'mmmm', I said to myself, then said to Alice, "Yes, I do have copies of photos taken for a disreputable woman of your acquaintance. I was, however, given them by accident."
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#393 |
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FUBAR!
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Karma: 15018767
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Woodstock, IL
Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S
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Feeling a cool draft on my feet, I looked down and wondered what had happened to my shoes and psocks. I also wondered when I had painted my toenails such an awful shade of chartreuse.
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#394 |
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DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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"Accident? That sounds like the lady of my acquaintance," said Alice, putting way her skull-and-crossbone labelled nail varnish.
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#395 |
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Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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Wow I thought .... Oh ! Wow ....
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#396 |
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FUBAR!
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Karma: 15018767
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Woodstock, IL
Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S
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With the weasels looking antsy to get back to work, and the chinchilla nibbling on my nads, I thought "Maybe it's time to come clean with this broad and get out of here!" I called up (down?) to Alice "Let's do some talking, darling...but first, get rid of the damn chinchilla!"
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#397 |
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Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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"The chinchilla stays, until you tell me the answer", Alice purred at me.
Damn, just when I needed to make a quick break for freedom, she puts a rodent in the way..... |
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#398 |
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FUBAR!
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Karma: 15018767
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Woodstock, IL
Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S
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Now, I'm a pretty easy going guy and I don't let too much bother me, but the damn chinchilla was getting to be a pain...literally...so I did the only thing I could considering the situation.
I peed on the little bastard! |
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#399 |
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Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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That, I suddenly realised was the worst thing I could do. The reaction produced was potentially fatal !
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#400 |
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Bah! Humbug!
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Karma: 135242149
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Durham, NC
Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!
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The chinchilla screamed! And then snapped!
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#401 |
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DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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Precisely what the chinchilla had snapped was something very, very precious to me.
"By the way," added Alice, before I could consider my loss further, "that nail varnish is a poison deadly in 48 hours that only I have the antidote to." |
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#402 |
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DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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Reaching down and feeling the spreading damp patch from my snapped hip flask, I thought three hundred dollars a day, even with expenses added, doesn't cover this sort of danger.
"Alright Alice, you win -- I was hired by the accident prone dame to get her photos back from the big ape; now get this damn chinchilla outta my shorts!" |
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#403 |
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Bah! Humbug!
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Karma: 135242149
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Durham, NC
Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!
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Alice laughed in a dastardly way and blew one of those sonic whistles no person can hear. But the chinchilla sure did!
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#404 |
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DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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The chinchilla literally erupted from my shorts, bring tears to my eyes in the process, and seemed to fly back to Alice.
"Feel free to find and return the photos, but I want you to find out who wanted to buy them -- and remember you only have 48 hours to do it before the nail varnish drags you six feet under." |
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#405 |
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Bah! Humbug!
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Karma: 135242149
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Durham, NC
Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!
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Surveying the damage wrought by the hysterical chinchilla, death by nail varnish didn't seem that bad a prospect. But I straightened my tie, hitched up my pants, screamed briefly, loosened my belt, and headed for the door.
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