Silliness The 2-sentences-per-post story (starring a mysterious blonde psockpuppet?) - Page 27

LazyScot · 07-09-2010, 09:12 AM

"What date is it?" I asked with some trepidation.

"Friday, 2nd July," replied Alice, "and now you answer my question."

GeoffC · 07-09-2010, 09:17 AM

'mmmm', I said to myself, then said to Alice, "Yes, I do have copies of photos taken for a disreputable woman of your acquaintance. I was, however, given them by accident."

MJK2111 · 07-09-2010, 10:21 AM

Feeling a cool draft on my feet, I looked down and wondered what had happened to my shoes and psocks. I also wondered when I had painted my toenails such an awful shade of chartreuse.

LazyScot · 07-09-2010, 10:24 AM

"Accident? That sounds like the lady of my acquaintance," said Alice, putting way her skull-and-crossbone labelled nail varnish.

GeoffC · 07-09-2010, 10:25 AM

Wow I thought .... Oh ! Wow ....

MJK2111 · 07-09-2010, 11:56 AM

With the weasels looking antsy to get back to work, and the chinchilla nibbling on my nads, I thought "Maybe it's time to come clean with this broad and get out of here!" I called up (down?) to Alice "Let's do some talking, darling...but first, get rid of the damn chinchilla!"

GeoffC · 07-09-2010, 11:59 AM

"The chinchilla stays, until you tell me the answer", Alice purred at me.

Damn, just when I needed to make a quick break for freedom, she puts a rodent in the way.....

MJK2111 · 07-09-2010, 12:17 PM

Now, I'm a pretty easy going guy and I don't let too much bother me, but the damn chinchilla was getting to be a pain...literally...so I did the only thing I could considering the situation.
I peed on the little bastard!

GeoffC · 07-09-2010, 12:33 PM

That, I suddenly realised was the worst thing I could do. The reaction produced was potentially fatal !

poohbear_nc · 07-09-2010, 12:45 PM

The chinchilla screamed! And then snapped!

LazyScot · 07-09-2010, 02:04 PM

Precisely what the chinchilla had snapped was something very, very precious to me.

"By the way," added Alice, before I could consider my loss further, "that nail varnish is a poison deadly in 48 hours that only I have the antidote to."

LazyScot · 07-09-2010, 06:51 PM

Reaching down and feeling the spreading damp patch from my snapped hip flask, I thought three hundred dollars a day, even with expenses added, doesn't cover this sort of danger.

"Alright Alice, you win -- I was hired by the accident prone dame to get her photos back from the big ape; now get this damn chinchilla outta my shorts!"

poohbear_nc · 07-09-2010, 06:59 PM

Alice laughed in a dastardly way and blew one of those sonic whistles no person can hear. But the chinchilla sure did!

LazyScot · 07-09-2010, 07:08 PM

The chinchilla literally erupted from my shorts, bring tears to my eyes in the process, and seemed to fly back to Alice.

"Feel free to find and return the photos, but I want you to find out who wanted to buy them -- and remember you only have 48 hours to do it before the nail varnish drags you six feet under."

poohbear_nc · 07-09-2010, 08:23 PM

Surveying the damage wrought by the hysterical chinchilla, death by nail varnish didn't seem that bad a prospect. But I straightened my tie, hitched up my pants, screamed briefly, loosened my belt, and headed for the door.

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07-09-2010, 09:12 AM	#391
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"What date is it?" I asked with some trepidation. "Friday, 2nd July," replied Alice, "and now you answer my question."

07-09-2010, 09:17 AM	#392
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	'mmmm', I said to myself, then said to Alice, "Yes, I do have copies of photos taken for a disreputable woman of your acquaintance. I was, however, given them by accident."

07-09-2010, 10:21 AM	#393
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Feeling a cool draft on my feet, I looked down and wondered what had happened to my shoes and psocks. I also wondered when I had painted my toenails such an awful shade of chartreuse.

07-09-2010, 10:24 AM	#394
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"Accident? That sounds like the lady of my acquaintance," said Alice, putting way her skull-and-crossbone labelled nail varnish.

07-09-2010, 10:25 AM	#395
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Wow I thought .... Oh ! Wow ....

07-09-2010, 11:56 AM	#396
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	With the weasels looking antsy to get back to work, and the chinchilla nibbling on my nads, I thought "Maybe it's time to come clean with this broad and get out of here!" I called up (down?) to Alice "Let's do some talking, darling...but first, get rid of the damn chinchilla!"

07-09-2010, 11:59 AM	#397
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	"The chinchilla stays, until you tell me the answer", Alice purred at me. Damn, just when I needed to make a quick break for freedom, she puts a rodent in the way.....

07-09-2010, 12:17 PM	#398
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Now, I'm a pretty easy going guy and I don't let too much bother me, but the damn chinchilla was getting to be a pain...literally...so I did the only thing I could considering the situation. I peed on the little bastard!

07-09-2010, 12:33 PM	#399
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	That, I suddenly realised was the worst thing I could do. The reaction produced was potentially fatal !

07-09-2010, 12:45 PM	#400
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 65,271 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	The chinchilla screamed! And then snapped!

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07-09-2010, 02:04 PM	#401
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Precisely what the chinchilla had snapped was something very, very precious to me. "By the way," added Alice, before I could consider my loss further, "that nail varnish is a poison deadly in 48 hours that only I have the antidote to."

07-09-2010, 06:51 PM	#402
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Reaching down and feeling the spreading damp patch from my snapped hip flask, I thought three hundred dollars a day, even with expenses added, doesn't cover this sort of danger. "Alright Alice, you win -- I was hired by the accident prone dame to get her photos back from the big ape; now get this damn chinchilla outta my shorts!"

07-09-2010, 06:59 PM	#403
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 65,271 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Alice laughed in a dastardly way and blew one of those sonic whistles no person can hear. But the chinchilla sure did!

07-09-2010, 07:08 PM	#404
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	The chinchilla literally erupted from my shorts, bring tears to my eyes in the process, and seemed to fly back to Alice. "Feel free to find and return the photos, but I want you to find out who wanted to buy them -- and remember you only have 48 hours to do it before the nail varnish drags you six feet under."

07-09-2010, 08:23 PM	#405
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 65,271 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Surveying the damage wrought by the hysterical chinchilla, death by nail varnish didn't seem that bad a prospect. But I straightened my tie, hitched up my pants, screamed briefly, loosened my belt, and headed for the door.