Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 267

Lycoming · 10-28-2011, 12:02 PM

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Trevon stood up and yelled:

“FREEZE, MUTHA*****R!!”

I guess there aren’t many farms in Detroit ..

badgoodDeb · 10-28-2011, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Trevon stood up and yelled:

“FREEZE, MUTHA*****R!!”

I guess there aren’t many farms in Detroit ..

Spoiler:

badgoodDeb · 10-28-2011, 02:07 PM

How about a change of topic then:
Life boils down to 2 questions.
Should I get a dog? (see first pic)
Or should I have children? (see second pic)

odiakkoh · 10-28-2011, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

How about a change of topic then:
Life boils down to 2 questions.
Should I get a dog? (see first pic)
Or should I have children? (see second pic)

Who needs their sanity, have both!

WT Sharpe · 10-28-2011, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

How about a change of topic then:
Life boils down to 2 questions.
Should I get a dog? (see first pic)
Or should I have children? (see second pic)

RE: First picture: I see you've found the home of Crystal's original owners.

Fbone · 10-28-2011, 06:01 PM

I have friends who swear they dream in color. I say it's just a pigment of their imagination.

yvanleterrible · 10-29-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I have friends who swear they dream in color. I say it's just a pigment of their imagination.

Beauty!

orlok · 10-29-2011, 12:49 PM

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.

But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.

"My Rolex!"

Fbone · 10-29-2011, 05:01 PM

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Fbone · 10-30-2011, 02:51 PM

I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.

Lycoming · 10-30-2011, 05:32 PM

While creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world..........

Then she made the earth round.

Stitchawl · 10-30-2011, 07:29 PM

Happy Halloween!

Stitchawl

pdurrant · 10-31-2011, 05:02 AM

xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

Lycoming · 10-31-2011, 10:44 AM

Cowboy: "GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE."

CASHIER: "DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR?"

Cowboy: "NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!!"

Fbone · 10-31-2011, 12:57 PM

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

10-28-2011, 02:07 PM	#3993
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,551 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	How about a change of topic then: Life boils down to 2 questions. Should I get a dog? (see first pic) Or should I have children? (see second pic) Attached Thumbnails

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10-28-2011, 12:02 PM	#3991
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes. Little Trevon stood up and yelled: “FREEZE, MUTHA*****R!!” I guess there aren’t many farms in Detroit ..

10-28-2011, 06:01 PM	#3996
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I have friends who swear they dream in color. I say it's just a pigment of their imagination.

10-29-2011, 12:49 PM	#3998
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!" "OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"

10-29-2011, 05:01 PM	#3999
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

10-30-2011, 02:51 PM	#4000
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.

10-30-2011, 05:32 PM	#4001
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	While creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.......... Then she made the earth round.

10-30-2011, 07:29 PM	#4002
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Happy Halloween! Stitchawl

10-31-2011, 05:02 AM	#4003
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 73,995 Karma: 315160596 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Oasis	xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

10-31-2011, 10:44 AM	#4004
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Cowboy: "GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE." CASHIER: "DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR?" Cowboy: "NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!!"

10-31-2011, 12:57 PM	#4005
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?