Unutterably Silly Memorable FIRST SENTENCES - Only Yours, please

[Dr. Drib]

The .prc/Mobi version is available now for download!



Do we want to continue this thread?


Don

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by Nate the great

"Put down the cucumber, step away from the sheep, and put your hands up, " said the cop.

Oh, this has GOT to go somewhere........

[desertgrandma]

I cannot believe I"ve been published. When do I get paid?

Is the check in the mail? Do I get residuals? How do I keep my work protected and away from pirates???

Seriously how. Unbelievable how you can create such a treasure out of the random, aimless ramblings of such a group as ours. I've already spewed water all over the screen of my laptop and only read the first few parts.

I salute you, and thank you. If you were in front of me right now, I'd KISS you! (on the forehead, of course. )

[Nate the great]

I'll never forget the day I needed my emergency pants.

[Nate the great]

I remember the day the world came to an end; it was a Tuesday and I forgot to pickup the dry cleaning.

[Dr. Drib]

The two Holiday Boys whooped and screamed in delight as their giant dirigible drifted over the Drive-In theater, the blimp moving with the slowness of on obstructed bowel movement across the parked cars, where Dick soon espied his girlfriend making out with Trent, their kisses slobbery and wet; while Sam – not to be outdone by this obscene spectacle - nudged Dick playfully in the stomach to get his full attention, as they both now saw Sam’s girlfriend making out with both Harvey and Jimmy.


Don

[pshrynk]

Wait -- Harvey and Jim are making out with Sam's girlfriend in Dick's stomach? How big is that guy?

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Wait -- Harvey and Jim are making out with Sam's girlfriend in Dick's stomach? How big is that guy?

Hmmm...perhaps I have a misplaced modifier.

(I think I just now found the offending word, 'where').

I definitely want Sam to show Dick that his (Sam's) girlfriend is making out with Harvey and Jimmy.

Don

I edited it. Does that work? -- hahaha

[Dr. Drib]

Dick and Sam, better known as The Holiday Boys, were busy working on their new invention, a device that could transmit sound waves across vast distances better than shouting, when Dick suddenly looked up and ejaculated: “Say, let’s test this by putting the transmitter in my parent’s bedroom and the receiving part in our Secret Hideout where we can listen in on their conversations,” but this only made Sam laugh out loud as he told Dick: “Your father’s always over at my mother’s house at night; in fact, I saw him leave this morning,” but this pronouncement only confused the two 18-year-old boys, due to the fact that they were twins.



Don

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

As the dark gray spacecraft descended slowly into the center of the stadium, casting a huge black shadow over most of the structure, many of the audience immediately noted how similar in size and shape the craft was to the 20th century Grand Airships that they had seen in history recordings; indeed, Eamon, being the only one present of the three people in the world who had clandestinely lived long enough to actually remember the Hindenburg disaster firsthand, noticeably shivered as the massive craft passed over him and approached the grandstand below; but despite the cold grip of dread that seemed to encircle his chest, the craft settled gracefully to its landing spot, its nose lightly grazing the side of the grandstand before a small circular port irised open at its tip.

[Dr. Drib]

The two Holiday Boys were working on a new computer design, one which would be able to create an unlimited amount of ram, unleashing to an awestruck world a new kind of Super Computer that just might change how the world perceived computers, perhaps in the process forcing the world to see how these electronic devices could be used to control important programs other than for business management and stock portfolio analyses, which frankly the Boys didn't really understand – but also could be used for beneficial programs such as Pong and Pac-Man, programs that gave a lot of joy to millions of teenagers across the United States Of America; in fact, at this very moment each Holiday Boy was envisioning benefits far greater than simply creating a three-dimensional paddle for a game, with Dick (ever the entrepreneur) thinking of various names for the company such as PineApple or Tangerine and thinking of new ways that computers could be programmed to turn lights on and off; while Sam, (always the practical Holiday Boy) was thinking of an itch he had near his groin at this very moment and wondering how a computer arm could be created to scratch that itch while he simultaneously talked to his girlfriend without her knowing that his groin itched - a very cumbersome act indeed when you’re a teenager of eighteen and you’re dating - but when the two boys stepped back to view the accumulated array of 74 Commodore computers linked together to form an unbroken link on the floor of their somewhat damp and moldy-smelling basement, with the hundreds of cables and RCA plugs haphazardly connecting the series of computers and cassette drives together, they realized they didn’t have enough electrical outlets to accommodate the 74 power cords.


Don

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

The two Holiday Boys whooped and screamed in delight as their giant dirigible drifted over the Drive-In theater, the blimp moving with the slowness of on obstructed bowel movement across the parked cars,
Don

Oh,my aching sides........or is that my spleen???

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

- but when the two boys stepped back to view the accumulated array of 74 Commodore computers linked together to form an unbroken link on the floor of their somewhat damp and moldy-smelling basement, with the hundreds of cables and RCA plugs haphazardly connecting the series of computers and cassette drives together, they realized they didn’t have enough electrical outlets to accommodate the 74 power cords.


Don

Ahhh, yes. The drawbacks that kept grid-computing from developing for another 20 or 30 years. Sigh.....

[Dr. Drib]

That morning, when The Holiday Boys awoke from uneasy dreams they lay on their hard, as it were, very sore backs, due possibly to the fact that the Boys had fallen asleep in bed with their English books and, in the process of that uneasy night of dreams combined with numerous tossings and turnings, the books had somehow become lodged underneath them and now, upon awakening they both yawned enormously and dreaded the coming day in school with Mr. Smeller’s English class where they knew they would have to take the DREADED ENGLISH TEST on grammar, with Dick particularly confused about pronouns, thinking that a pronoun was a noun that was no longer an amateur – but that didn’t make any sense, because what did money have to do with a noun when it turned Pro, unless it was somehow owned by the owner of the word – is that what Mr. Smeller meant about copyrights and other such impenetrable ideas?-;while Sam, on the other hand, found particular difficulty with Proper Nouns, confused about when a noun was proper if that meant something like what his mother said the day she told him to get his “Proper Royal Ass inside the house this instant!”

[LazyScot]

With a voice that would make a low-temperature physicist's heart leap for joy, she made me an offer I should have had the experience to refuse: "So, do you want the job, or an involuntary vascetomy?".