Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 256

Daithi · 10-12-2011, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graham Coulson

A Polish immigrant living in the UK went to have his eyes tested.

The optician showed him the chart with all those lines of letters, large at the top, but getting smaller and smaller until the bottom line was very difficult to decipher.

“Can you read the bottom line?” the optician asked the Pole.

The Pole took a quick look – “Read it?” he exclaimed. “He’s my best friend !”

It took me a minute to get this joke, which makes it a little funnier (I know, more funny, don't care).

WT Sharpe · 10-12-2011, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

That's just sad! Funny, but sad!

Graham Coulson · 10-12-2011, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daithi

It took me a minute to get this joke, which makes it a little funnier (I know, more funny, don't care).

No, no -- "funnier" or "more funny" -- either is equally correct. There's absolutely nothing ungrammatical about the word "funnier" (for the avoidance of doubt, you understand !)

Daithi · 10-12-2011, 03:16 PM

Two Irish nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the top of their car.

The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross."

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our %$#@ing car you $#%^&!".

Fbone · 10-12-2011, 03:33 PM

I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool.

Stitchawl · 10-12-2011, 07:41 PM

A blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."

"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.

But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.

The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."

"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.

Then the blonde started to sing,

"Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 10-12-2011, 10:07 PM

My God,Stitchawl !!! What happened to your avatar? Did you screw something up on your last time travel jaunt? You'd better go back and fix it before you fade out altogether!

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Fbone · 10-12-2011, 10:13 PM

I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time either.

Stitchawl · 10-12-2011, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

My God,Stitchawl !!! What happened to your avatar? Did you screw something up on your last time travel jaunt? You'd better go back and fix it before you fade out altogether!

.No, no! It's my Halloween costume! I'm going to dress up as a ghost this year when I go Trick-r-Treating! I've been practicing my chain rattling and Booing so that I'll be ready for the big night. I've already got my 'UNICEF' cup made and a shopping bag for goodies!

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 10-12-2011, 11:59 PM

Did you buy that costume from this guy?

Stitchawl · 10-13-2011, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Did you buy that costume from this guy?

Nah... I made it myself. I've already met him, but not yet, (the benefits and problems of time travel) so I couldn't copy his ideas. I had to come up with my own. I was going to dress up as a 'Two men walking a breast,' but you can imagine what I'd have to do for THAT one!

Stitchawl

wannabee · 10-13-2011, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graham Coulson

.
............bottom line...........
The Pole took a quick look – “Read it?” he exclaimed. “He’s my best friend !”

My BOI was an accountant. He used to say "give me a bottom line and I'll work to it"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

"Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.

The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."with me.
Stitchawl

the Sunday school teacher asked the child if he knew God's name."Harold" said the child. "Why do you think it's Harold?" said the teacher.
The child replied, "You just told us whe we started the class. Our father who art in heaven. Harold be thy name."

Stitchawl · 10-13-2011, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

The child replied, "You just told us whe we started the class. Our father who art in heaven. Harold be thy name."

So what kind of a name is 'Hark' for a singing angel?!?

Stitchawl

Lycoming · 10-13-2011, 09:36 AM

I just read this......

Cooking Rule.....

Good mums let you lick the beaters.

Great mums switch them off first.

Fbone · 10-13-2011, 04:31 PM

I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.

10-12-2011, 10:07 PM	#3832
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	My God,Stitchawl !!! What happened to your avatar? Did you screw something up on your last time travel jaunt? You'd better go back and fix it before you fade out altogether! Last edited by WT Sharpe; 10-12-2011 at 10:11 PM.

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10-12-2011, 03:16 PM	#3829
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles	Two Irish nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the top of their car. The nun who is driving says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross." So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, "Get off our %$#@ing car you $#%^&!".

10-12-2011, 03:33 PM	#3830
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,292 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool.

10-12-2011, 07:41 PM	#3831
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	A blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test." "OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde. But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter. The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy." "Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter. Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..." Stitchawl

10-12-2011, 10:13 PM	#3833
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,292 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time either.

10-12-2011, 11:59 PM	#3835
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Did you buy that costume from this guy?

10-13-2011, 09:36 AM	#3839
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	I just read this...... Cooking Rule..... Good mums let you lick the beaters. Great mums switch them off first.

10-13-2011, 04:31 PM	#3840
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,292 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.