Silliness The 2-sentences-per-post story (starring a mysterious blonde psockpuppet?) - Page 25

LazyScot · 07-06-2010, 02:14 PM

And so it was I found myself sitting in a fashionably disreputable joint surrounded by dubious looking squirrels, otters, llamas, waterfowl, sheep and the occasional primate, all of whom where studiously minding their own business whilst watching everyone else and drinking their carrot juice. Somewhere in here was the lead that would take me to the ape, the photo and a disgustingly large envelope of thanks from the dame.

MJK2111 · 07-06-2010, 04:13 PM

As you can imagine, the stench was something else. After ordering a drink, I carefully surveyed the joint.

poohbear_nc · 07-06-2010, 04:15 PM

Feeling the weight of all those little beady eyes on me spurred me into action! After putting my drinks on the dame's tab, I tightened my belt, straightened my tie and hopped on a bus!

GeoffC · 07-07-2010, 05:23 AM

I hopped on a bus ! 'Sheesh! What was I thinking' ....

LazyScot · 07-07-2010, 06:38 AM

"I should have got into the bus," was the last thing to go through my mind before the low hanging traffic lights caught me on the head and knocked me off the bus and into the road.

I came to, and found myself receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from a llama.

GeoffC · 07-07-2010, 06:40 AM

'Wow' I thought, 'this case is certainly providing some surreal experiences I never would have thought to experience in all my born days as a PI'.

Coughing and spitting unmentionables from my lips, I hailed a black London Cab .... [!]

LazyScot · 07-07-2010, 07:08 AM

"Oh no you don't," shouted the llama, dragging me back to the joint I'd just left, " you need a drink before you go anywhere."

Something clearly wanted me back at the bar, and since a drop of the hard stuff never went amiss, who was I to argue with a life-saving llama?

MJK2111 · 07-07-2010, 10:30 AM

The llama introduced himself as Louie, and in his distinctive accent, he said "You otter stay here for a while...you'll be safe here." Before I could question him about my safety, I noticed a cute-in-a-slutty-kinda-way gerbil looking my way.

poohbear_nc · 07-07-2010, 11:02 AM

Reaching into my pocket to pay for the gerbil's g&T, I found the photos the dame had showed me. Damn, I was still on a case and needed to get out of this gin joint.

LazyScot · 07-07-2010, 11:30 AM

"I couldn't help noticing those photos. I may have an interesting business proposition for you," said a very disreputable looking ginger tom cat, sporting an eye-patch, a long scar and missing half an ear.

GeoffC · 07-07-2010, 11:35 AM

'Oh sheesh' I thought.

'Where am I, in a joint, menagerie or with Alice in Neverland?'

LazyScot · 07-07-2010, 11:52 AM

"I wouldn't deal with Ugarte," said Louie, "he's nothing but trouble and associates only with extortionists, burlgars, thieves and politicians."

"Here," he continued, "let me introduce you to the proprietor, Alice."

MJK2111 · 07-07-2010, 11:59 AM

Alice had skin worse than an elephants, the dull eyes of someone who had given up on life, and an attitude like a pissed-off ex-girlfriend. I liked her immediately.

LazyScot · 07-07-2010, 12:07 PM

Ugarte took one look at Alice, and passed me his card before he prowled off to a warm, sunlight corner where he and his compatriots curled up round a giant hookah that smelt as if it was full of catnip.

"Before you cast aspersions about this place bear in mind that firstly, I own it, secondly, I've heard them all before, and thirdly, I have a punch that can floor a waterbuffalo," said Alice before I had a chance to open my mouth, indicating a prone waterbufallo in the centre of the room.

omk3 · 07-07-2010, 04:38 PM

Several wisecracks went through my hazy mind, but the sight of the waterbuffalo made me think twice before uttering any of them.
Instead I looked at the mirror behind her, and wondered if the world on the other side might be a bit saner than this one.

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07-06-2010, 02:14 PM	#361
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	And so it was I found myself sitting in a fashionably disreputable joint surrounded by dubious looking squirrels, otters, llamas, waterfowl, sheep and the occasional primate, all of whom where studiously minding their own business whilst watching everyone else and drinking their carrot juice. Somewhere in here was the lead that would take me to the ape, the photo and a disgustingly large envelope of thanks from the dame.

07-06-2010, 04:13 PM	#362
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	As you can imagine, the stench was something else. After ordering a drink, I carefully surveyed the joint.

07-06-2010, 04:15 PM	#363
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 65,239 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Feeling the weight of all those little beady eyes on me spurred me into action! After putting my drinks on the dame's tab, I tightened my belt, straightened my tie and hopped on a bus!

07-07-2010, 05:23 AM	#364
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I hopped on a bus ! 'Sheesh! What was I thinking' ....

07-07-2010, 06:38 AM	#365
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"I should have got into the bus," was the last thing to go through my mind before the low hanging traffic lights caught me on the head and knocked me off the bus and into the road. I came to, and found myself receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from a llama.

07-07-2010, 06:40 AM	#366
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	'Wow' I thought, 'this case is certainly providing some surreal experiences I never would have thought to experience in all my born days as a PI'. Coughing and spitting unmentionables from my lips, I hailed a black London Cab .... [!]

07-07-2010, 07:08 AM	#367
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"Oh no you don't," shouted the llama, dragging me back to the joint I'd just left, " you need a drink before you go anywhere." Something clearly wanted me back at the bar, and since a drop of the hard stuff never went amiss, who was I to argue with a life-saving llama?

07-07-2010, 10:30 AM	#368
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	The llama introduced himself as Louie, and in his distinctive accent, he said "You otter stay here for a while...you'll be safe here." Before I could question him about my safety, I noticed a cute-in-a-slutty-kinda-way gerbil looking my way.

07-07-2010, 11:02 AM	#369
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 65,239 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Reaching into my pocket to pay for the gerbil's g&T, I found the photos the dame had showed me. Damn, I was still on a case and needed to get out of this gin joint.

07-07-2010, 11:30 AM	#370
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"I couldn't help noticing those photos. I may have an interesting business proposition for you," said a very disreputable looking ginger tom cat, sporting an eye-patch, a long scar and missing half an ear.

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07-07-2010, 11:35 AM	#371
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	'Oh sheesh' I thought. 'Where am I, in a joint, menagerie or with Alice in Neverland?'

07-07-2010, 11:52 AM	#372
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	"I wouldn't deal with Ugarte," said Louie, "he's nothing but trouble and associates only with extortionists, burlgars, thieves and politicians." "Here," he continued, "let me introduce you to the proprietor, Alice."

07-07-2010, 11:59 AM	#373
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Alice had skin worse than an elephants, the dull eyes of someone who had given up on life, and an attitude like a pissed-off ex-girlfriend. I liked her immediately.

07-07-2010, 12:07 PM	#374
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	Ugarte took one look at Alice, and passed me his card before he prowled off to a warm, sunlight corner where he and his compatriots curled up round a giant hookah that smelt as if it was full of catnip. "Before you cast aspersions about this place bear in mind that firstly, I own it, secondly, I've heard them all before, and thirdly, I have a punch that can floor a waterbuffalo," said Alice before I had a chance to open my mouth, indicating a prone waterbufallo in the centre of the room.

07-07-2010, 04:38 PM	#375
omk3 Wizard Posts: 1,454 Karma: 37243 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Europe Device: pocketbook 360, kindle 4	Several wisecracks went through my hazy mind, but the sight of the waterbuffalo made me think twice before uttering any of them. Instead I looked at the mirror behind her, and wondered if the world on the other side might be a bit saner than this one.