Silliness Memorable FIRST SENTENCES - Only Yours, please - Page 24

ShortNCuddlyAm · 01-13-2009, 12:35 PM

As the deadline fast approached, everyone held their collective breathes, waiting for the right moment so their first words would also be the last.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 12:40 PM

When the enhancers kicked in, the world around him went into slo-mo, which was just the way he liked it; it allowed him to move amongst his attackers like a controlled explosion, effortlessly dodging sluggish blows and knives as he rained damage on each of them in turn, using hands, feet, knees and elbows indiscriminately, then continuing past them as if they had been no more than an obstacle to step around; he turned and allowed the enhancers to pause, just long enough to watch the thugs finally convulse and collapse, wide-eyed in pain and confusion, from his split-second attack.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 12:45 PM

How long would it take for the inevitable last blow to fall?

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 12:45 PM

He couldn't believe it was actually going to end like this...

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 12:45 PM

The first sentence on Earth strutted and swelled proudly, secure in its knowledge that it would not be the last.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 12:46 PM

HA!

(I'm so bad!)

GeoffC · 01-13-2009, 12:48 PM

His final moments would soon arrive; by taxi charted by the Great Unwashed from Outer Acronymouph, depositing hordes of Ninja Squirrels by the bucket load -right onto the whitewashed lawns of the White Mansion in the sky above; Her final moments, by contrast, shall remain a secret from prying eyes.

Dr. Drib · 01-13-2009, 01:18 PM

We can continue this, if there's enough interest.

The additions (after #350) can go into a second, revised edition; or it can simply be a Second Volume.

Thank you, all contributors. Right now, I'm busy putting the sentences into BookDesigner.

Steve, if you don't mind, I'll give you a choice of which one you want to end the book with:

The last sentence on Earth, having no need to impart information to anyone, ended.

The first sentence on Earth strutted and swelled proudly, secure in its knowledge that it would not be the last.

..unless you have a different take or idea on that.

Don

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

Steve, if you don't mind, I'll give you a choice of which one you want to end the book with:

The last sentence on Earth, having no need to impart information to anyone, ended.

The first sentence on Earth strutted and swelled proudly, secure in its knowledge that it would not be the last.

..unless you have a different take or idea on that.

Yes! Yes!!

...uh, I mean...

...Ah, I'm so gratified and humbled by this opportunity. Really! Let's go with the Last Sentence... ah, sentence.

And thank you, again, for allowing me to contribute.

pshrynk · 01-13-2009, 01:57 PM

Dang! This is what I get for taking lunch away from my desk!

LazyScot · 01-13-2009, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Dang! This is what I get for taking lunch away from my desk!

As pshrynk removed his desk's lunch, it developed a terrible rage and ate his computer, mobile phone and iPhone instead; if only he had known the meglomanic genie he would release through his actions.

Dr. Drib · 01-13-2009, 02:22 PM

It's over - but it doesn't mean the silliness and fun can't continue.

Update: All are now in, with two being excluded because they were more than one sentence. A third was corrected with the author's permission. Three or four were excluded because they weren't originals.

THE EBOOK: I need to proof it, put in typographer's quotes so all the entries are consistent, and also put in em dashes, and it'll be ready. Right now, I'm going offline to have some lunch.

_________________________________

Here's three:

It wasn’t that Undercover Elephant was fat; he just didn’t wear the same kind of clothes that everyone else wore.

It wasn’t that Undercover Elephant was fat; he just ran with the wrong herd.

As the last woman on earth fell down, she said, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.”

Don

vivaldirules · 01-13-2009, 02:27 PM

I'm just a simple, well-mannered dog in a bizarre world filled with hoomins but as I walked past the room whence a commotion was emanating about the last best first sentence, or some such nonsense, I could not help but to pause and pee on the carpet.

LazyScot · 01-13-2009, 02:33 PM

I am never surprised; so I was really shocked when she surprised me by appearing, demurely seated on a chair, in front of my desk -- in fact I was doubly suprised as she never makes house calls (except from the command bridge of the flagship on the most fearer intergalactic war fleet ever known), my office has no desk or chair as it is about the size of a shoebox (I am a four inch long concealed spybot), and she is a six foot three inch Amazon Goddess -- but then it is amazing what desperation, dimensional adjustment technology and the disappearance of Harv can do to one.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-13-2009, 02:36 PM

Okay, everybody over to the Final Sentence thread! I'm buyin' the doughnuts!

...okay, seriously, I need a break! My boss is giving me dirty looks! I need to get back to work, before I--

Oh! Chocolate.

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01-13-2009, 12:35 PM	#346
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	As the deadline fast approached, everyone held their collective breathes, waiting for the right moment so their first words would also be the last.

01-13-2009, 12:40 PM	#347
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	When the enhancers kicked in, the world around him went into slo-mo, which was just the way he liked it; it allowed him to move amongst his attackers like a controlled explosion, effortlessly dodging sluggish blows and knives as he rained damage on each of them in turn, using hands, feet, knees and elbows indiscriminately, then continuing past them as if they had been no more than an obstacle to step around; he turned and allowed the enhancers to pause, just long enough to watch the thugs finally convulse and collapse, wide-eyed in pain and confusion, from his split-second attack.

01-13-2009, 12:45 PM	#348
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	How long would it take for the inevitable last blow to fall?

01-13-2009, 12:45 PM	#349
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	He couldn't believe it was actually going to end like this...

01-13-2009, 12:45 PM	#350
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	The first sentence on Earth strutted and swelled proudly, secure in its knowledge that it would not be the last.

01-13-2009, 12:46 PM	#351
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	HA! (I'm so bad!)

01-13-2009, 12:48 PM	#352
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	His final moments would soon arrive; by taxi charted by the Great Unwashed from Outer Acronymouph, depositing hordes of Ninja Squirrels by the bucket load -right onto the whitewashed lawns of the White Mansion in the sky above; Her final moments, by contrast, shall remain a secret from prying eyes.

01-13-2009, 01:18 PM	#353
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,467 Karma: 60119087 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	We can continue this, if there's enough interest. The additions (after #350) can go into a second, revised edition; or it can simply be a Second Volume. Thank you, all contributors. Right now, I'm busy putting the sentences into BookDesigner. Steve, if you don't mind, I'll give you a choice of which one you want to end the book with: *The last sentence on Earth, having no need to impart information to anyone, ended.* The first sentence on Earth strutted and swelled proudly, secure in its knowledge that it would not be the last. ..unless you have a different take or idea on that. Don

01-13-2009, 01:57 PM	#355
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Dang! This is what I get for taking lunch away from my desk!

01-13-2009, 02:22 PM	#357
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,467 Karma: 60119087 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	It's over - but it doesn't mean the silliness and fun can't continue. Update: All are now in, with two being excluded because they were more than one sentence. A third was corrected with the author's permission. Three or four were excluded because they weren't originals. THE EBOOK: I need to proof it, put in typographer's quotes so all the entries are consistent, and also put in em dashes, and it'll be ready. Right now, I'm going offline to have some lunch. _________________________________ Here's three: It wasn’t that Undercover Elephant was fat; he just didn’t wear the same kind of clothes that everyone else wore. It wasn’t that Undercover Elephant was fat; he just ran with the wrong herd. As the last woman on earth fell down, she said, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” Don

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01-13-2009, 02:27 PM	#358
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	I'm just a simple, well-mannered dog in a bizarre world filled with hoomins but as I walked past the room whence a commotion was emanating about the last best first sentence, or some such nonsense, I could not help but to pause and pee on the carpet.

01-13-2009, 02:33 PM	#359
LazyScot DSil Posts: 3,201 Karma: 6895096 Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Hants, UK Device: Kindle, Cybook	I am never surprised; so I was really shocked when she surprised me by appearing, demurely seated on a chair, in front of my desk -- in fact I was doubly suprised as she never makes house calls (except from the command bridge of the flagship on the most fearer intergalactic war fleet ever known), my office has no desk or chair as it is about the size of a shoebox (I am a four inch long concealed spybot), and she is a six foot three inch Amazon Goddess -- but then it is amazing what desperation, dimensional adjustment technology and the disappearance of Harv can do to one.

01-13-2009, 02:36 PM	#360
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	Okay, everybody over to the Final Sentence thread! I'm buyin' the doughnuts! ...okay, seriously, I need a break! My boss is giving me dirty looks! I need to get back to work, before I-- Oh! Chocolate.