The Vent and Rant Thread

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Deskisamess

What was his reason for chaining his bike to your bike?

Considering it was an expensive bike I assume it was so it was less likely to get stolen. There wasn't anywhere near where he could chain his bike to. There are people who then chain it to another bike, that way their bike can't be picked up and taken away.

Originally Posted by ApK

Nah, that was fine. Would have been slightly funnier if you replaced the lock with a similar lock that he couldn't open. Make him wonder for while.

I didn't have a padlock handy, plus I wouldn't want to waste the money. So it was either busting out the zip ties or leaving it unlocked for the neighbourhood bike thief to find (she is prolific, any bike left unlocked is gone very quickly).

[ApK]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

Considering it was an expensive bike I assume it was so it was less likely to get stolen. There wasn't anywhere near where he could chain his bike to. There are people who then chain it to another bike, that way their bike can't be picked up and taken away.

Wow. I assumed this was on a pole or crowded bike rack, and you could not be sure if he chained yours intentionally or just snagged it by carelessness. But the way you describe it, he is not only an inconsiderate jerk, but an idiot for using such a cheap lock on an expensive bike. He didn't even deserve the zip-ties.

[Deskisamess]

Originally Posted by ApK

Wow. I assumed this was on a pole or crowded bike rack, and you could not be sure if he chained yours intentionally or just snagged it by carelessness. But the way you describe it, he is not only an inconsiderate jerk, but an idiot for using such a cheap lock on an expensive bike. He didn't even deserve the zip-ties.

This was my assumption also, that there was an existing rack, perhaps out of room or something.

[Rumpelteazer]

It's been a stressful three weeks. My father called the doctor because he had stabbing pains on one side of his chest. The doctor called the ambulance. It turns out the stabbing pains were caused by shingles. But they did find a slightly irregular heartbeat, so he had to go to hospital to get it checked out.

They did find some enzymes in his blood which indicated his heart had cramped during the last 48 hours, so he had to stay. A couple of days later they did a cardiac catheterization where they found several partial blockages. After sending all the data to the nearby university hospital it was decided he had to get another catheterization at the university hospital. During the procedure the doctors decided that the blockage weren't serious enough to place stents immediately, but that my father might have to get a bypass operation.

A couple of days later that was confirmed, but he still had shingles. Last week there was a spot open for the operation but the dermatologist had to sign off on it and he was too slow. So we had to wait again for the next open spot. On Monday he was again transported to the university hospital and yesterday he was operated on.

It's a long procedure, after almost six hours they called my sister (first contact) that they placed three bypasses and everything went well. Until 9.30pm, when the surgeon called again, that my father was bleeding alongside the drains they placed (so not through them) and he had to be operated on again to see what was happening. They would contact my sister again after the operation. So we waited, and waited. After three hours my sister called. She thought it was taking too long so she called the hospital, it took a while for her to find the right person and it turns out an operation wasn't needed. They had realized he got blood thinners and it's normal to bleed like that. They changed his medication and everything was fine then. So we were stressed out for nothing for three very long hours.

After he gets off the ICU my father will be transported back to the first hospital, where he'll recover for a while longer before he gets released. And after he's healed for six weeks his heart rehab program starts.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks. I've been doing the store on my own, taking care of all the household chores and helping my mother where needed. Plus I visited my father 3-4 times a week. When he gets home I'll have to take care of him, until he gets slowly back to normal. My sister's been a great help with being the contact person for the hospital, but once my father's home I expect most things will be up to me (I don't have a driver's license so she has to take him to any appointments).

I've shortened the hours the store's open, we now open an hour later and close an hour earlier. Partially due to visiting hours at the cardiac ward, but also to give me time to do everything that needs to be done and still have a couple of hours to myself most nights.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

It's been a stressful three weeks. My father called the doctor because he had stabbing pains on one side of his chest. The doctor called the ambulance. It turns out the stabbing pains were caused by shingles. But they did find a slightly irregular heartbeat, so he had to go to hospital to get it checked out.

(snippage for length)

It's been a stressful couple of weeks. I've been doing the store on my own, taking care of all the household chores and helping my mother where needed. Plus I visited my father 3-4 times a week. When he gets home I'll have to take care of him, until he gets slowly back to normal. My sister's been a great help with being the contact person for the hospital, but once my father's home I expect most things will be up to me (I don't have a driver's license so she has to take him to any appointments).

I've shortened the hours the store's open, we now open an hour later and close an hour earlier. Partially due to visiting hours at the cardiac ward, but also to give me time to do everything that needs to be done and still have a couple of hours to myself most nights.

Geeze, Rumple, yes, I can see how that could be stressful.

I'd suggest, regardless of income, that you close the store at least for 3 days each week, until you can sort out who's going to do what. It's not really fair and more importantly, probably not doable, for you to man the store 6days/week, nearly full-time, AND take care of your Dad, full-time, AND clean the house (!) and all that. You're human and you'll burn out pretty quickly.

If you close the store 3days/week, you can sort out domestic chores, do shopping and stuff on the days it's closed.

Trust me, having been through a household member with cardiac recovery, if you try to do all this, including taking care of your mum, and the store, and dad, and all that, by yourself, it'll be a miracle if you make it two weeks. Decide now that something has to give and it's NOT YOU.

And your sister can do more than just drive Dad to appointments. Just sayin'. He's her dad too and your mum is her mum too.

Hitch

[CRussel]

In addition to what Ms. Hitch has suggested, this is definitely the time to GET HELP. For example, why in the world should you be the one to clean the house?? Hire someone, or hire a service. Especially if you think you can't, reasonably, close the store completely for three days a week. Yes, you've shortened the hours a little. But you need to do more to offload responsibilities. Or, as Hitch says, you'll burn out in a hurry. And burn out hard.

[Rumpelteazer]

The household chores aren't the problem. My father didn't do much of those so that isn't much extra work. With the reduced opening times of the store that's doable. Luckily the store's closed on Sunday and Monday, so those are the days I do the bigger chores (mostly on Monday morning).

The biggest problem for me is the combination of less time to myself and being on stand-by 24/7. Before my father went to hospital I would have a little time in the morning and the evenings after dinner to myself. I would spend time with my mother before work and during the afternoon on Tuesday to Friday (when I normally work mornings). But since I work now more often and my father isn't there to keep her company in the evening until to went to bed. To not let her get lonely I go downstairs earlier and I stay with longer in the evenings. Due to stress I'm more tired at night (especially on days I visit my father) so I really don't have the energy to do any of my hobbies except watch some TV. I try to do that on Sunday morning. I'm also back to being on stand-by 24/7, so when my mother needs something she can't do she can call me to come do it for her. It doesn't happen very often, but I'm still not able to really relax in the evenings when I'm on my own. It will sound egotistical, but I miss my alone time most, I need that to recharge.

About getting help, that won't happen. My father doesn't want that for various reasons. In the past you could get help from council, either to help with cleaning or medical help. But even before Covid there has been a shortage of people working in that business, but now it's even worse and the government expects the family to do more. Since I live at home that's up to me, also "my sister's got her own life".

In principle my father won't be allowed to go home until he can take care of his own basic needs; get up and dressed, take showers, prepare breakfast and lunch, etc. You read everywhere that it's important to start doing things you can at home as soon as possible and even start getting some light exercise, like short walks. However, when my father isn't feeling well he has a tendency to either sit still behind the computer and/or spend long times in bed. That happened after his cycling accident two years ago and last year when he was getting used to his diabetes diagnosis and his new medication. I'm afraid he won't take responsibility for his own healing until he's forced to go to the heart rehab program in six weeks time. Trying to motivate him, what my sister expects me to do, will only lead to him getting angry and still not doing anything.

Late May my sister and I books a long weekend away. Both my mother and father have said that will happen, even if we have to close the store for two days. But if my father won't do anything to get fit again for the next six weeks I don't see that happening for me (again, egotistical to worry about that).

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

The household chores aren't the problem. My father didn't do much of those so that isn't much extra work. With the reduced opening times of the store that's doable. Luckily the store's closed on Sunday and Monday, so those are the days I do the bigger chores (mostly on Monday morning).

Sure, but Rumple...this sort of burnout is what I'm talking about, and believe me, I know it all too well personally.

The biggest problem for me is the combination of less time to myself and being on stand-by 24/7. Before my father went to hospital I would have a little time in the morning and the evenings after dinner to myself. I would spend time with my mother before work and during the afternoon on Tuesday to Friday (when I normally work mornings). But since I work now more often and my father isn't there to keep her company in the evening until to went to bed. To not let her get lonely I go downstairs earlier and I stay with longer in the evenings.

I think your mum is around my age, I believe--she's a grown woman, she knows how much you're taking on and she probably doesn't really need babysitting. I know that at our ages, we all look ancient to you, but really, we're not. (smile). You're doing too much and she will know that. Just...breathe and take some time for yourself.

Due to stress I'm more tired at night (especially on days I visit my father) so I really don't have the energy to do any of my hobbies except watch some TV. I try to do that on Sunday morning. I'm also back to being on stand-by 24/7, so when my mother needs something she can't do she can call me to come do it for her. It doesn't happen very often, but I'm still not able to really relax in the evenings when I'm on my own. It will sound egotistical, but I miss my alone time most, I need that to recharge.

Many of us do. I know exactly what you mean. Even if it's only 30minutes, I need that time each night, after the rest of my household is asleep (not counting the puddies), to get that quiet time. Even if it's not enough time to "do" anything, it's peace and quiet. I GET IT.

About getting help, that won't happen. My father doesn't want that for various reasons. In the past you could get help from council, either to help with cleaning or medical help. But even before Covid there has been a shortage of people working in that business, but now it's even worse and the government expects the family to do more. Since I live at home that's up to me, also "my sister's got her own life".

Then you know what? Don't do it. I realize that you have an unusual living situation, for whatever reason, but just don't do the housework. Unless the place starts to descend into filth--which I feel is highly unlikely--don't do the damned housework. For Dad to expect you to do it, on top of everything else, and for him to refuse/decline to even find outside assistance--that's...well, I'm not going to say what I think it is, but foot, it's time for you to be put down FIRMLY. I mean, unpaid slave much?

In principle my father won't be allowed to go home until he can take care of his own basic needs; get up and dressed, take showers, prepare breakfast and lunch, etc. You read everywhere that it's important to start doing things you can at home as soon as possible and even start getting some light exercise, like short walks. However, when my father isn't feeling well he has a tendency to either sit still behind the computer and/or spend long times in bed.

Well, recuperation and physical restoration are hard work. When we feel lousy, most of us would prefer to hibernate or nest in bed. This is true especially when you're a bit longer in the tooth. Is there anyone--mom, your sister, his buddy Fred or whatever--that can get him to try to walk up and down the street, or the like?

That happened after his cycling accident two years ago and last year when he was getting used to his diabetes diagnosis and his new medication. I'm afraid he won't take responsibility for his own healing until he's forced to go to the heart rehab program in six weeks time. Trying to motivate him, what my sister expects me to do, will only lead to him getting angry and still not doing anything.

Not sure that there's really much you can do about this, given everything you've said. Your dad seems to be pretty immovable.

Late May my sister and I books a long weekend away. Both my mother and father have said that will happen, even if we have to close the store for two days. But if my father won't do anything to get fit again for the next six weeks I don't see that happening for me (again, egotistical to worry about that).

Hell, go anyway. I mean, seriously, you are not a slave and curtailing your own "me" time or you and your sister's "us" time, if he refuses to get fit...at some point, you have to stand up for your own rights. He's a grown man, an adult and he has to live with the consequences of his own actions or inactions. Why should you forego your vacation, when by all measures, he should be fine in 6-8-ish weeks, if he follows his recuperation plan? Honestly, there should be no reason he shouldn't be able to open the store, at least half-time, for those two days, in 1.5-2 months.

I've been through this (almost exactly) with Mr. Hitch and even though, psychologically, it's a bit unnerving (mortality and all that), seriously, in two months, he hardly knew he'd had an attack and he did BUPKUS for rehab. BUPKUS, trust me. Some people (particularly males of the species) will leap up, get fit, eat right and all that, but IME, the majority just keep on keeping on, with whatever lifestyle that they had before. I managed to get Mr. H on my WaterRower a few times, for a few weeks, but it bored the crap out of him and eventually, he just stopped (when the terror wore off, I suspect). Offered FWIW.

Hitch

[DNSB]

Just to whinge about a series in ebook form my wife purchased. She started to read them and promptly complained to me about the layout has very wide left/right margins. A quick check of the book showed every xhtml file had the following style in the <head></head> segment:

  <style type="text/css">
		@page { margin-bottom: 5.000000pt; margin-left: 1in; margin-right: 1in; margin-top: 5.000000pt; size: 8.5in 11in; }
		</style>

So I did a quick edit to strip that out while muttering about the stupidity of someone forcing 1" (25.4mm) margins. For her Libra 2, the 7" diagonal screen is 4.21" (107mm) wide so about 48% of the screen is being wasted.

[pdurrant]

Originally Posted by DNSB

Just to whinge about a series in ebook form my wife purchased. She started to read them and promptly complained to me about the layout has very wide left/right margins. A quick check of the book showed every xhtml file had the following style in the <head></head> segment:

  <style type="text/css">
		@page { margin-bottom: 5.000000pt; margin-left: 1in; margin-right: 1in; margin-top: 5.000000pt; size: 8.5in 11in; }
		</style>

So I did a quick edit to strip that out while muttering about the stupidity of someone forcing 1" (25.4mm) margins. For her Libra 2, the 7" diagonal screen is 4.21" (107mm) wide so about 48% of the screen is being wasted.

I hope you also complained to the vendor. So that they can complain to the publisher.

[DNSB]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

I hope you also complained to the vendor. So that they can complain to the publisher.

It was a direct purchase from an independently published author's site so my complaint went to author/publisher/vendor in one swell foop.

I did get a nice reply with the offer of one of the author's backlist ebooks for free.

[Hitch]

There are days...

So, some months back, this fellow starts emailing me, about his books of poetry, or to be more accurate, his to-be, prospective books of poetry. He tells me that he has hundreds of poems that he's written, over the years, and he wants to make two books of poems, each 50 poems. I'm like, okay, great.

He emails me, over time, from time to time, saying he's making progress or this or that.

Two days ago, he starts emailing me about "how" he can send me his poems and how he's having trouble figuring out how to sort them. Now, me being a blithering idiot, I think he means that as he's sorted them (he says) by date, that he can't figure out how to sort them, that way, inside Word. I figure, okay, he's not a sophisticated Word user, so I show him how to use Styles and headings and Outline View, and how he can easily drag-drop a date heading and the corresponding poem, with it so that in the Navigation Pane, he can readily sort them via Date, right?

Then he acts like I'm speaking Martian. So..okay, back-and-forth ensues, while I try to figure out WTF the problem is.

Finally, (after, I kid thee not, 4-5 more email exchanges) I realize that this bozo is actually talking about--wait for it--sending me 100 different files. 100 different poems, in different files, which apparently, he expects us to sort and concatenate, us to convert from Pages to Word (you can't typeset Pages in InDesign; you need docx files) and all that--and a good 10 hours of that work would have to be done, before we could even quote him (we quote fixed prices, based on word count, difficulty factor, etc., not hourly rates). Ten HOURS of clerical work, secretarial work, before we could even quote him. (About 4 hours of one of us converting Pages-->Word; another 3+ hours of me concatenating the files, in order to get final word count and an idea of what's what; probably 2 hours to figure out what to quote this mess and 1 hour just because.)

And when I explain that all this time, I thought he meant that he was making a manuscript, like the 9,000 other manuscripts we've seen, and quoted, over the years--he acts like I'm imposing upon him! That I am being unreasonable, to expect him to do this, as he's (I'm quoting) just spend DAYS getting it all ready, checking line breaks (? What? Why does he think that assembling his files in sequence, in a Word or Pages file, would affect LINE-breaks, I ask you?), and all that. I'm a soulless ghoul, apparently.

Honestly, I'm gobsmacked. I mean, who is this clueless and inconsiderate, to feel that book designers and formatters should do all this unpaid secretarial and clerical work, because what? You're too lazy to learn how to use your tool, Pages or Word? or can't be bothered, because--gasp--you're a POET?

Unbelievable. He feels it's far too much work for him to do--but apparently, a matter of a trice for us to do, amirite?

Wowzers. Just Wowzers.

Hitch

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Hitch

(you can't typeset Pages in InDesign; you need docx files)

For the record, Pages can save files in DOCX format, for compatibility with Word.

(Not that I expect your clueless customer wannabe to know that.)

I'd just tell him you take a customer's completed manuscript and transform it into an eBook. Making it a completed manuscript (in Word format, thankyouverymuch) is his chore, and he should contact you again when he's done it. Doing what he needs next is not a service you offer.

(I don't think I want to know about his poems. I try to avoid "gouge out eyeballs with a spoon after reading" material.)
______
Dennis

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

For the record, Pages can save files in DOCX format, for compatibility with Word.

(Not that I expect your clueless customer wannabe to know that.)

Oh, hell, yes, I know this and you should have heard him howl when I said he would need to do that. I even finally offered to do the conversion to docx, ourselves (of course, we have some Macs and Pages, etc. in the office), if he'd put the poems into even just TEN lousy files (one .pages file with ten poems) each. Unbelievable. I just don't want to convert 100 files, first, and then concatenate them (to get the word count and paragraph count, hard returns, soft returns [we're talkin' poetry here, ya know?]) just for the privilege of quoting him. I mean, what happens when he doesn't accept the quote, to those 10 hours of work? I'll tell ya what happens, I eat them.

I'd just tell him you take a customer's completed manuscript and transform it into an eBook. Making it a completed manuscript (in Word format, thankyouverymuch) is his chore, and he should contact you again when he's done it. Doing what he needs next is not a service you offer.

It's for print layout and ebooks, but the reality is the same. I told him to go ask 5 other formatting and design houses and see what they'd say about receiving what are effectively 100 manuscripts, to be made into two books, and receiving them in a format that's unusable for print layout (in any real print layout/design program, mind you, not just InDesign). It's boggling. I mean, it's too much work for him to do, but not for us to do. That's the thing that just keeps running around the inside of my (very tired and irritable) skull.

(I don't think I want to know about his poems. I try to avoid "gouge out eyeballs with a spoon after reading" material.)
______
Dennis

I haven't seen them yet, but one of the real downsides to Indy publishing and playing a part therein is seeing this very sort of thing. Indy poems and OMG, Indy children's books. Both reach new levels of Offal. You have not lived, my brother, until you read the sort of...rhyming and cadence (for lack of better words) that I see in children's would-be books. It's bloody painful.

And that's a rusty spoon, my friend, not just any clean old spoon, for the eyeball-gouging implement.

Hitch

[DNSB]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

(I don't think I want to know about his poems. I try to avoid "gouge out eyeballs with a spoon after reading" material.)

Originally Posted by Hitch

And that's a rusty spoon, my friend, not just any clean old spoon, for the eyeball-gouging implement.

If it's even in the neighbourhood of one collection of "poetry" I was asked to read which was an AI-generated collection of free verse. The first couple of poems made a desire to "gouge out eyeballs with a dull, rusty spoon before reading" seem reasonable.

I did feel the author/compiler's response to my quoting Bored of the Rings as to the sales potential was a bit overboard. My opinion was that "A cursory assessment of the manuscript’s sales appeal, however, convinced us that dollarwise the thing would be better employed as tinder for the library fireplace." was pretty accurate.