Corrupt-a-Wish

[Slite]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

<LazyScot is seen gibbering helplessly about fractal squirrels, Walt Disney Fantasia's broomsticks as he returns to hiding back under the bed in the bunker.>



Granted. Sadly, their psychiatrists have denied SOMEONE use of computers so they are unable to read you posts or explain them to anyone.

I wish I had somewhere safer to hide from the pressure-sensitive, pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja, fractal squirrel threat.

<whimpers quietly...>

Granted, the only safe place however, is Madagascar, and you know what that means.... pressure-sensitive, pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja, fractal squirrel dressed up as lemurs. Oh the hysterics!

I wish my dogs wouldn't get so fricking dirty that you more or less have to bathe them once a week!

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Slite

Granted, you now know, but you really wish you didnt. The hysterics, the screams and the tears are galore. Not to mention that the aftermath of a fake, animatronic, pressure-sensitive, pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja, squirrel peanut Cookie Monster hit with a sledge hammer smells really funky.

...though that could just be LazyScot.

I wish SOMEONE could make sense of my postings.

Granted. That someone is you. Welcome to insanity again.

I wish Two And A Half Men wasn't the best sitcom on television at the moment, and I wish it wasn't on at this very moment. Maybe it needs more Fran Drescher (and gibbons, and lemurs, and squirrels).

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Slite

...

I wish my dogs wouldn't get so fricking dirty that you more or less have to bathe them once a week!

Granted. Technically-speaking, that's not "dirt" - it's some luscious smelling roadkill they found flung into the bushes to roll in.

I wish I could corrupt wishes and wish before other wish-corrupting wishers corrupted the preceding wish and wished, making my previous wish-corruption and wish redundant.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Granted. Technically-speaking, that's not "dirt" - it's some luscious smelling roadkill they found flung into the bushes to roll in.

I wish I could corrupt wishes and wish before other wish-corrupting wishers corrupted the preceding wish and wished, making my previous wish-corruption and wish redundant.

^
|
|_____ What he said, to many corruptors around

[Slite]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Granted. Technically-speaking, that's not "dirt" - it's some luscious smelling roadkill they found flung into the bushes to roll in.

I wish I could corrupt wishes and wish before other wish-corrupting wishers corrupted the preceding wish and wished, making my previous wish-corruption and wish redundant.

Granted, but your wish creates a timeparadox, which makes it impossible for anyone to post any new wishes for you to corrupt, so you are not actually reading this corruption of your wish, you only think you read it. As a side-effect of your wish, the Lemurs no longer reside on Madagascar, they were transported through a wormhole and ended up in LazyScots wardrobe. (I wouldnt open that door if I were you LS!)

I wish I could have my own pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Slite

...
As a side-effect of your wish, the Lemurs no longer reside on Madagascar, they were transported through a wormhole and ended up in LazyScots wardrobe. (I wouldnt open that door if I were you LS!)

...so, not a total loss then.

I wish I could have my own pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel

There is no way to corrupt your wish. The corruption is implicit. Your wish is the question that gave the answer "Be careful what you wish for".

That is to say, or to ask anyway...ARE...YOU...INSANE? As we have already established that this is indeed the case, and therefore that your wish is actually what you wish for, I am forced to corrupt it by putting your own pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel inside LazyScot's underpants (the ones he's currently wearing).

I wish the webcams I had installed in LazyScot's home and workplace weren't currently down for maintenance.

[grimo1re]

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish I could have my own pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel

Granted. But it's really a panda in disguise.

I wish I wasn't employed.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by grimo1re

Granted. But it's really a panda in disguise.

I wish I wasn't employed.

Granted, welcome to the wonderful world of the unemployed, soup kitchen to the right. Pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels to the left. Hysteically screaming LazyScot hiding under the bed.

I wish that not every corrupted wish included pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Slite

...

I wish that not every corrupted wish included pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels

Granted. Allow me to re-introduce you to your wish-corruption accomplice, Sylvester Stallone (and his mother as a bonus).

I wish I had a pavlova in front of me right about now.

[Dylrob]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

I wish the webcams I had installed in LazyScot's home and workplace weren't currently down for maintenance.

Granted. But now the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel have discovered them, and are doing... things... that no sane being should witness.

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish that not every corrupted wish included pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrels

Granted. You'll be happy to know that this one single corruption is squirrel free.

I wish this thread didn't make me laugh so hard! (people are trying to sleep..)

[Slite]

Originally Posted by Dylrob

Granted. But now the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel have discovered them, and are doing... things... that no sane being should witness.

Granted. You'll be happy to know that this one single corruption is squirrel free.

I wish this thread didn't make me laugh so hard! (people are trying to sleep..)

Granted, every time you open your mouth to laugh, you think of what the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel are doing in front of the surveilance cameras in LazyScot's bedroom. Hence, insanity makes you go speechless, and people around you can sleep. As an added bonus, Sylvester Stallone (and His mother) pops into your mind adding to the terror.

I wish I wasn't so tired after eating way to much food at lunch, or at least that I coulod take a nap!

[Cookie Monster]

Originally Posted by Slite

I wish I wasn't so tired after eating way to much food at lunch, or at least that I coulod take a nap!

Granted your boss allows you to have a nap but unfortunately your lunch was laced with enough speed to make you run around the room like a complete maniac thinking you're a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel.

I wish everyone would embrace their inner squirrel

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by Cookie Monster

I wish everyone would embrace their inner squirrel

Granted. Now there aren't enough nuts to go around. (Other than in this forum, of course.)

I wish I could employ a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel to be the photographer at my next party.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Granted. Now there aren't enough nuts to go around. (Other than in this forum, of course.)

I wish I could employ a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel to be the photographer at my next party.

Granted, you did however not count on the fact that he would invite his 999.999.999 brothers, 1 million lemurs (pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, meta-evil, time-travelling, dark jedi, pirate ninja squirrel in disguise), a Laughing panda with an attitude, Sylvester Stallone and his mother to the party as well. And just to make things worse, they drag LazyScot along, imagine the hysteria, high-pitched screaming and the tears.

I wish it was 5 o'clock already so I could get my butt outa work!

[DixieGal]

I wish it was 5 o'clock already so I could get my butt outa work![/QUOTE]


Granted, but since I believe you and Marc and Lazy Scot and Steve are actually 1 mind inhabiting 4 bodies, and Marc is on Australia time and your work day is finishing and re-starting again simultaneously in another time zone (and/or dimension).

I wish we would stop using a stick to poke Pakistan and start poking Madagascar instead. A war on terror can not possibly be won without eliminating the lemur threat and their weapons of mass destruction.