User Poetry - Page 23

BookishDreamer · 06-26-2008, 03:29 PM

Rustling leaves ebbing and flowing with the breeze
Brakes squeal shrilly
Chirp chirp Chirp
Twitter twitter
Trilling calls and a flutter of wings
Empty soda can clattering metalically across asphalt
Thu-thump thu-thump
Tires bouncing over bumps

Parked, windows down
Breeze shifting hair into my eyes
Far corner of a mall parking lot
Lunching to the sounds of the world

Taylor514ce · 06-26-2008, 04:04 PM

Nice! I once wrote one called "sound census". It's a bit out of season, as you'll see:

Morning Walk (Sound Census)

The steady crump crump crump of my boots in the snow. An electric hiss-pop: streetlamp fizzling on and off. A constant hum of distant highway traffic, with the nearer noise of the school bus shifting gears. Every so often, a child's voice. I turn out of the neighborhood and walk the gravel road into the farmland. An airplane overhead, then the creak of a branch shedding its snow burden, the splash of snow in the ditch. A trickle of snowmelt in the culvert. A dog barks, another, more distant, answers. Nearby, some small animal in the windbreak suddenly startles. I stop and wait, and hear only my breath, my heart, the pulse in my ears.

coyote stops and stares
the world presses its ear
to my chest

zelda_pinwheel · 06-26-2008, 04:14 PM

that's beautiful, taylor.

Patricia · 06-26-2008, 04:41 PM

Yes, it is.

GeoffC · 08-10-2008, 05:55 AM

It's quiet in here -

one from a long time ago.....

i am here
all yours,
burden me with your fears
and lean on my shoulders.
as your heart trembles
and your body pains
cry without shame,
let me be there.

BookishDreamer · 08-10-2008, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

It's quiet in here -

one from a long time ago.....

i am here
all yours,
burden me with your fears
and lean on my shoulders.
as your heart trembles
and your body pains
cry without shame,
let me be there.

That's so sweet and sincere.

Dreamer

UKHaiku · 09-22-2008, 05:13 PM

after
twenty-three long
pages of art, and stuff
suddenly, fateful, satori
I write...

p.s. my first attempt at a cinquain - seems like an interesting style..

zelda_pinwheel · 09-22-2008, 06:09 PM

ha, glad you decided to stop in, UKHaiku !! i thought you would like this thread...

thanks for the cinquain. it does seem a very interesting style doesn't it ?

montsnmags · 09-22-2008, 07:08 PM

As a person who may be considered by some individuals to be a little on the loquacious side, I have found that, unlike for yourself, haiku can be far too constrictive on my penchant for pleonastic redundancy. The cinquain is a compromise on that, though playing "without a net" serves my natural state best.

Which is to say both, "Welcome" and, "Nicely done".

Cheers,
Marc

UKHaiku · 09-22-2008, 07:33 PM

Thanks for the warm welcome..

Here's one of my haiku, first posted on the Haiku Enthusiasts group on Facebook...

the smell of morning,
scent of rain, newly fallen,
for this, I awake

badgoodDeb · 09-22-2008, 07:40 PM

My first try, in response (hope I have the rules right)

the warmth of bedsheets,
puppy body, curled against,
roll over, sleep in

Taylor514ce · 09-22-2008, 07:46 PM

Cinquains are 5 lines, with the syllable counting at 2, 4, 6, 8, and then the final line snapping back to 2.

DaleDe · 09-25-2008, 02:15 PM

I really think these things need wider distribution but I don't want to mess with anyones copyright. How about a wiki called "Poems at MobileRead". The entry on that page would have an introduction followed by a list with the authors name as a link to a page with individual poems on it. The authors name could be followed with a brief comment. What do you think? Anyone can post their own and they will be easier to find I think.

Dale

zelda_pinwheel · 09-25-2008, 02:19 PM

that's a really nice idea, dale. let's keep the thread too, because sometimes there are "reply" poems or a context surrounding several poems which enrich the collection. it makes me think it might be nice to create an ebook of the thread as well, including all the posts, even the non-poem ones. of course, we'd have to keep adding to it as the thread grows... not very practical !

in the wiki entry, we could add poem-to-poem links as well for the poems which are related (like the same theme, or a reply to a previous poem).

Taylor514ce · 09-25-2008, 07:01 PM

what color the sky?
pale yellow butterflies flit
over wild sunflowers

06-26-2008, 04:04 PM	#332
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Morning Walk (Sound Census) Nice! I once wrote one called "sound census". It's a bit out of season, as you'll see: Morning Walk (Sound Census) The steady crump crump crump of my boots in the snow. An electric hiss-pop: streetlamp fizzling on and off. A constant hum of distant highway traffic, with the nearer noise of the school bus shifting gears. Every so often, a child's voice. I turn out of the neighborhood and walk the gravel road into the farmland. An airplane overhead, then the creak of a branch shedding its snow burden, the splash of snow in the ditch. A trickle of snowmelt in the culvert. A dog barks, another, more distant, answers. Nearby, some small animal in the windbreak suddenly startles. I stop and wait, and hear only my breath, my heart, the pulse in my ears. coyote stops and stares the world presses its ear to my chest

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06-26-2008, 03:29 PM	#331
BookishDreamer Cultural Artist Posts: 1,128 Karma: 12829 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Georgia Device: Sony 505, Kindle 2	Rustling leaves ebbing and flowing with the breeze Brakes squeal shrilly Chirp chirp Chirp Twitter twitter Trilling calls and a flutter of wings Empty soda can clattering metalically across asphalt Thu-thump thu-thump Tires bouncing over bumps Parked, windows down Breeze shifting hair into my eyes Far corner of a mall parking lot Lunching to the sounds of the world

06-26-2008, 04:14 PM	#333
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	that's beautiful, taylor.

06-26-2008, 04:41 PM	#334
Patricia Reader Posts: 11,504 Karma: 8720163 Join Date: May 2007 Location: South Wales, UK Device: Sony PRS-500, PRS-505, Asus EEEpc 4G	Yes, it is.

08-10-2008, 05:55 AM	#335
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	It's quiet in here - one from a long time ago..... i am here all yours, burden me with your fears and lean on my shoulders. as your heart trembles and your body pains cry without shame, let me be there.

09-22-2008, 05:13 PM	#337
UKHaiku Enthusiast Posts: 48 Karma: 104 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Device: Sony Reader - PRS-505	after twenty-three long pages of art, and stuff suddenly, fateful, satori I write... p.s. my first attempt at a cinquain - seems like an interesting style..

09-22-2008, 06:09 PM	#338
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	ha, glad you decided to stop in, UKHaiku !! i thought you would like this thread... thanks for the cinquain. it does seem a very interesting style doesn't it ?

09-22-2008, 07:08 PM	#339
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	As a person who may be considered by some individuals to be a little on the loquacious side, I have found that, unlike for yourself, haiku can be far too constrictive on my penchant for pleonastic redundancy. The cinquain is a compromise on that, though playing "without a net" serves my natural state best. Which is to say both, "Welcome" and, "Nicely done". Cheers, Marc

09-22-2008, 07:33 PM	#340
UKHaiku Enthusiast Posts: 48 Karma: 104 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Device: Sony Reader - PRS-505	Thanks for the warm welcome.. Here's one of my haiku, first posted on the Haiku Enthusiasts group on Facebook... the smell of morning, scent of rain, newly fallen, for this, I awake

09-22-2008, 07:40 PM	#341
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,551 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	My first try, in response (hope I have the rules right) the warmth of bedsheets, puppy body, curled against, roll over, sleep in

09-22-2008, 07:46 PM	#342
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Cinquains are 5 lines, with the syllable counting at 2, 4, 6, 8, and then the final line snapping back to 2.

Advert

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09-25-2008, 02:15 PM	#343
DaleDe Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,470 Karma: 13095790 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Grass Valley, CA Device: EB 1150, EZ Reader, Literati, iPad 2 & Air 2, iPhone 7	I really think these things need wider distribution but I don't want to mess with anyones copyright. How about a wiki called "Poems at MobileRead". The entry on that page would have an introduction followed by a list with the authors name as a link to a page with individual poems on it. The authors name could be followed with a brief comment. What do you think? Anyone can post their own and they will be easier to find I think. Dale

09-25-2008, 02:19 PM	#344
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	that's a really nice idea, dale. let's keep the thread too, because sometimes there are "reply" poems or a context surrounding several poems which enrich the collection. it makes me think it might be nice to create an ebook of the thread as well, including all the posts, even the non-poem ones. of course, we'd have to keep adding to it as the thread grows... not very practical ! in the wiki entry, we could add poem-to-poem links as well for the poems which are related (like the same theme, or a reply to a previous poem).

09-25-2008, 07:01 PM	#345
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	what color the sky? pale yellow butterflies flit over wild sunflowers