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#316 | |
Wizard
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Karma: 4525055
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rural Illinois, USA
Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650
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#317 |
That guy, no not that guy
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Karma: 2846
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Device: PRS600 Red
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More humor from the great white north
A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London (England) and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".
"Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gentleman. "I hope you won't mind my asking," said the Brit, "but what do the two red bars on your flag represent?" "Well," replied the Canadian gentlman, "one of the bars stands for the courage and hardiness of our people in settling the cold expanses and broad prairies of our country. The other is for the honesty and integrity for which Canadians are known." The Brit mulled this over and nodded. Having poor eyesight at his advanced age, and not being familiar with maple leaves, he then asked, "And what's that six-pointed item in the middle of your flag?" "Oh, that's to remind us of the six words of our national motto," the Canadian lady piped up. The Brit asked, "And what are those six words?" The Canadian smiled and replied, "They are 'Don't blame us - we're not Americans.'" |
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#318 |
Addict
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Karma: 1004969
Join Date: Mar 2007
Device: Sony Reader
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Just saw this one today:
Two penguins walk into a bar, which is silly - the second one should have seen it. |
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#319 |
WWHALD
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Karma: 337114
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK
Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here
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#320 |
Murderous Mustela
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Karma: 48000000
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: The other land of schnitzel and beer
Device: iPad M1 Pro, Kindle Paperwhite
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What was the first thing Scotty said while visiting the British Isles?
There be Wales! ... yeah I know, *grooooooooan*. |
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#321 |
Not scared!
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Karma: 81011643
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midlands, UK
Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10
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#322 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
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Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
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i know many ppl hate him... but he's hilarious! my fave joke!
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#323 |
.a ribbon around a bomb.
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Karma: 4334
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: sigh... ny
Device: PRS700
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#324 |
Guru
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Karma: 5565888
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Townsend, WI
Device: Palm TX, PRS-505 (BLUE)
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Last Tuesday, as Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.
The squared-away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes and says: "Nice pigs, sir." Obama replies "These are not pigs...these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi." The squared-away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes and says, "Excellent trade, sir.…" |
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#325 | |
Wizard
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1,289
Karma: 4525055
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rural Illinois, USA
Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650
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#326 |
Wizard
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1,289
Karma: 4525055
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rural Illinois, USA
Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650
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Nurse to doctor: There's a man in the waiting room, who wants to use our scale.
Doctor to nurse: Tell him, "No weigh!" (sounded better when my daughter was telling it) |
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#327 |
WWHALD
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 7,879
Karma: 337114
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK
Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here
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#328 | |
Technogeezer
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Karma: 1601464
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Virginia, USA
Device: Sony PRS-500
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#329 |
Member Retired
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 274
Karma: 4446
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florida
Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he woke up with a headache after a three day drinking binge?
"I freed the WHAT...?!" |
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#330 |
Addict
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 253
Karma: 2113226
Join Date: Jun 2008
Device: BeBook Neo
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Here's one my dad told me a couple of weeks ago. (in English; it isn't funny in Dutch)
Please be aware that this is a somewhat vulgar joke, so if you're easily offended, do not read on. Two guys, a rich one and a poor one, are discussing the wedding anniversary presents they bought their wives. The rich one says: "I bought her a diamond ring and a BMW. So if she doesn't like the ring, she can return it to the store while driving the BMW and still be happy." The poor one replies: "I bought mine a pair of slippers and a dildo. So if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself." |
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