Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 21

columbus · 06-11-2009, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm;

There used to be some grafitti at Kennington station a few years back that read "Evolution now!"

Now who was it wrote the novel - evolution?

nohmi2 · 06-11-2009, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreenjoy

"I once had a rose bush named after me and was very flattered, until I read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.'"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Loved it!!!

mklynds · 06-11-2009, 08:07 PM

A little Canadian humor for ya. Eh!

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God , CANADA, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for
sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through
OTTAWA, CAN and those @#$&#!*&^
deducted $95.00 in taxes.

doreenjoy · 06-11-2009, 11:51 PM

When I die, I hope I go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did...

...not screaming in terror like the three other people in his car.

GeoffC · 06-12-2009, 04:54 AM

you're all mad - mad as hatters at the tea party at the end of the rainbow in an alternative universe under the blue waters of the Otter Void ....

GeoffC · 06-12-2009, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreenjoy

When I die, I hope I go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did...

...not screaming in terror like the three other people in his car.

Oh .... I had to read this thrice.....

Verencat · 06-12-2009, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

you're all mad - mad as hatters at the tea party at the end of the rainbow in an alternative universe under the blue waters of the Otter Void ....

Really, I'm going mad from reading this over and over again...

GeoffC · 06-12-2009, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verencat

Really, I'm going mad from reading this over and over again...

well, just read it once ....

pshrynk · 06-12-2009, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

well, just read it once ....

You're always good for an elegant solution, Geoff...

Verencat · 06-12-2009, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

You're always good for an elegant solution, Geoff...

Indeed. Stunningly useful.

GeoffC · 06-13-2009, 08:57 AM

Indeed. Usefully stunning .....

Alphapheemail · 06-15-2009, 12:38 PM

My fave Carlin line:

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a Towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.

On an Electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts

In a Nonsmoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.

Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

At the Electric Company We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully! We'll wait...

At a Propane Filling Station: Thank heaven for little grills.

Septic Tank Truck: CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hope u smiled! =D

MickeyC · 06-15-2009, 12:42 PM

Write the phrase 'The IRS' as a single word

RWood · 06-16-2009, 08:39 PM

Ad for a secretarial job:

Looking for a girl with no bad habits who is willing to learn.

doreenjoy · 06-17-2009, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreenjoy

"I once had a rose bush named after me and was very flattered, until I read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.'"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone keeps asking me about this one. Yes, Eleanor Roosevelt really did say it AFAIK. She had a great sense of humor.

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06-11-2009, 08:07 PM	#303
mklynds That guy, no not that guy Posts: 337 Karma: 2846 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Alberta, Canada Device: PRS600 Red	A little Canadian humor for ya. Eh! A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God , CANADA, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through OTTAWA, CAN and those @#$&#!*&^ deducted $95.00 in taxes.

06-11-2009, 11:51 PM	#304
doreenjoy 01000100 01001010 Posts: 1,889 Karma: 2400000 Join Date: Mar 2009 Device: Polyamorous	When I die, I hope I go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did... ...not screaming in terror like the three other people in his car.

06-12-2009, 04:54 AM	#305
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	you're all mad - mad as hatters at the tea party at the end of the rainbow in an alternative universe under the blue waters of the Otter Void ....

06-13-2009, 08:57 AM	#311
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Indeed. Usefully stunning .....

06-15-2009, 12:38 PM	#312
Alphapheemail .a ribbon around a bomb. Posts: 639 Karma: 4334 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: sigh... ny Device: PRS700	My fave Carlin line: If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? SIGNS OF THE TIMES Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." At a Towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows. On an Electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts In a Nonsmoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff. Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary; We hear you coming. At the Electric Company We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be. In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up. In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully! We'll wait... At a Propane Filling Station: Thank heaven for little grills. Septic Tank Truck: CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope u smiled! =D

06-15-2009, 12:42 PM	#313
MickeyC Grand Sorcerer Posts: 16,731 Karma: 12185114 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Florida Device: iPhone 6 plus, Sony T1, iPad 3	Write the phrase 'The IRS' as a single word

06-16-2009, 08:39 PM	#314
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Ad for a secretarial job: Looking for a girl with no bad habits who is willing to learn.