The Vent and Rant Thread

[Hemmi]

Yeah, she just knows no boundaries. Thinks what's in the desk is free for all. Umm, no, those are pens that I bought and I want to use. I shouldn't have to hide them to keep them safe. We have a gazillion other pens around to use.

I waited until she left for dinner last night, retrieved my pink pen, and hid that and my other pink pen in the very back of the desk. It was petty but it made me feel better since she didn't even ask if she could use it.

I'll have to do what another coworker did and put my name on all my pens.

[poohbear_nc]

I once had to print out labels to put on frequently 'borrowed' desk items that read: "This was stolen from pooh's desk" -- in large bold letters.

[CRussel]

In my old Electrician days, I used to paint a nice, big swath of pink paint on all my tools. EVERYONE knew that meant they were "Pinkies" (mine). And amazingly, no one wanted to steal^H^H^H^H^H borrow them.

[wodin]

I don't know, a little pink paint gives a hammer a bit of panache.

[Cinisajoy]

Dear scammer,
The storm was nearly 2 weeks ago. By now, those that need a new roof have already called a legitimate roofer. Secondly, your accent gave you away. You might want to check the demographics before calling.

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by wodin

I was gifted with a VERY expensive Montblanc Meisterstück pen a few years ago, and have been carrying it since. It only leaves my pocket when I want to write something or I'm changing shirts. Occasionally someone will want to borrow it, but when they do it's only in my presence so I can keep an eye on it.

I own a Sailor ProGear fountain pen. While it doesn't have the brand status of the MontBlanc, it still has a 21k nib, a comparable price (to the smaller Montblancs) and it writes equally well.

That pen is mine. I never loan it to someone. (It's resin... I don't know if this can be engraved. Have to look into that someday. Maybe engrave and fill, or something.)

As a second pen, I have a nice, but less expensive Waterman Expert rollerball. That one is my backup should the fountain pen run out unexpectedly, for writing on paper not fit for fountain pens, and for loaning. If I do that, I actually keep the cap.

They're in a pen pouch together with my Sheaffer Prelude mechanical pencil.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by GrannyGrump

@Hemmi --- I used to make a large sign with magic marker to lie inside my desk drawer --- "Snooping again, I see. HANDS OFF!"

It was effective in my case. Of course, if your kleptomaniac co-worker is hard-core, you might have to graduate to using a mousetrap!

I have used a mousetrap. Nice? No. Effective? Oh, yes.

I will say that my employer (contracted me) at the time, blamed me for his hernia. Yes, he did. The "victim" of my perfectly innocent attempt to rid my desk of mice (surely, that's a reasonable thing, right?), went shrieking to him.

The boss had known that I'd been livid about some of my more expensive office items going walkabout, and I knew damned well who was helping himself. Like some of you, better pens (only Crosses. I would NEVER leave an MB pen in a desk drawer at an office. Nonetheless, not a Bic. I'm totally over name-brand pens now, just for that reason), some casual jewelry (earrings. Women are ALWAYS removing earrings at the office, due to phones), some rather pricey notepads/notebooks that I'd buy for myself, and the like. Anyway, whilst I had not come out and said I was going to deal with vermin in the office, I suspect that he suspected.

Anyway, said vermin went SHRIEKING (not very manly, IMO [sniff]) to him, and later, the boss came out and motioned me aside, telling me he nearly burst his gut, trying not to laugh. He said that he did ask the so-and-so, "But, X, what were you doing, rummaging around in her desk?," all innocent concern, which apparently brought on another fit of angry shrieking. Better his ears than mine!

Sigh, it was glorious. You all should try it. Just don't forget and snap yourselves. I wouldn't want to somehow feel responsible for that.

Hitch

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Hitch

I have used a mousetrap. Nice? No. Effective? Oh, yes.

I will say that my employer (contracted me) at the time, blamed me for his hernia. Yes, he did. The "victim" of my perfectly innocent attempt to rid my desk of mice (surely, that's a reasonable thing, right?), went shrieking to him.

The boss had known that I'd been livid about some of my more expensive office items going walkabout, and I knew damned well who was helping himself. Like some of you, better pens (only Crosses. I would NEVER leave an MB pen in a desk drawer at an office. Nonetheless, not a Bic. I'm totally over name-brand pens now, just for that reason), some casual jewelry (earrings. Women are ALWAYS removing earrings at the office, due to phones), some rather pricey notepads/notebooks that I'd buy for myself, and the like. Anyway, whilst I had not come out and said I was going to deal with vermin in the office, I suspect that he suspected.

Anyway, said vermin went SHRIEKING (not very manly, IMO [sniff]) to him, and later, the boss came out and motioned me aside, telling me he nearly burst his gut, trying not to laugh. He said that he did ask the so-and-so, "But, X, what were you doing, rummaging around in her desk?," all innocent concern, which apparently brought on another fit of angry shrieking. Better his ears than mine!

Sigh, it was glorious. You all should try it. Just don't forget and snap yourselves. I wouldn't want to somehow feel responsible for that.

Hitch

That is priceless.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

That is priceless.

It was one of those moments. I probably oughtn't have done it. If I'd worked for a major at the time, HR would no dbout have been all over my @ss. But I did, and I didn't, thank God. The really hilarious part, I thought, was that for DAYS afterwards, all over the office, you'd suddenly hear CRACK!--the sound of traps going off, followed by smothered giggles and snorts.

I suspect that my stalwarts, my fellow workers, all raced out and got mousetraps, and started snapping them whenever so-and-so was in the vicinity. It was like the early warning system. I know that the next 5-10 times I saw him striding around the office, his face was PURPLE. I mean, PURPLE. He obviously didn't think it was very funny. I mean, sure, his hand hurt like hell (no, no, it wasn't actually broken, just banged to sh*t), but his pride was significantly more damaged.

But, curiously enough, bizarre coincidence that it was, I never had another thing stolen, in all the years that I still worked out of that office, whether I was contracting full time or just an hour here or there.

You simply can't be too cautious and careful, around vermin. You know how they breed.

Hitch

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by Hitch

It was one of those moments. I probably oughtn't have done it. If I'd worked for a major at the time, HR would no dbout have been all over my @ss. But I did, and I didn't, thank God. The really hilarious part, I thought, was that for DAYS afterwards, all over the office, you'd suddenly hear CRACK!--the sound of traps going off, followed by smothered giggles and snorts.

I suspect that my stalwarts, my fellow workers, all raced out and got mousetraps, and started snapping them whenever so-and-so was in the vicinity. It was like the early warning system. I know that the next 5-10 times I saw him striding around the office, his face was PURPLE. I mean, PURPLE. He obviously didn't think it was very funny. I mean, sure, his hand hurt like hell (no, no, it wasn't actually broken, just banged to sh*t), but his pride was significantly more damaged.

But, curiously enough, bizarre coincidence that it was, I never had another thing stolen, in all the years that I still worked out of that office, whether I was contracting full time or just an hour here or there.

You simply can't be too cautious and careful, around vermin. You know how they breed.

Hitch

Love it!

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Hitch

It was one of those moments. I probably oughtn't have done it. If I'd worked for a major at the time, HR would no dbout have been all over my @ss. But I did, and I didn't, thank God. The really hilarious part, I thought, was that for DAYS afterwards, all over the office, you'd suddenly hear CRACK!--the sound of traps going off, followed by smothered giggles and snorts.

I suspect that my stalwarts, my fellow workers, all raced out and got mousetraps, and started snapping them whenever so-and-so was in the vicinity. It was like the early warning system. I know that the next 5-10 times I saw him striding around the office, his face was PURPLE. I mean, PURPLE. He obviously didn't think it was very funny. I mean, sure, his hand hurt like hell (no, no, it wasn't actually broken, just banged to sh*t), but his pride was significantly more damaged.

But, curiously enough, bizarre coincidence that it was, I never had another thing stolen, in all the years that I still worked out of that office, whether I was contracting full time or just an hour here or there.

You simply can't be too cautious and careful, around vermin. You know how they breed.

Hitch

Funniest one I ever got into was when a woman told me I should babysit her youngest because I was the reason she got pregnant. Yes, I had told her that she would have a third child. (No I am not psychic. ) This was based on 2 factors, her best friend had just had her third child so the woman had babyitis and the other factor was unprotected sex.
My prediction could have easily been wrong.

[Hemmi]

That is great Hitch! I don't ever have anything else disappear, just pens. I even put some in a pen cup on top of the desk as a decoy and asked that people stay out of the pens in the drawer. It's not like they're expensive pens either, I just like fine point pens and I like to have them in different colors.

[Deskisamess]

Originally Posted by Hitch

It was one of those moments. I probably oughtn't have done it. If I'd worked for a major at the time, HR would no dbout have been all over my @ss. But I did, and I didn't, thank God. The really hilarious part, I thought, was that for DAYS afterwards, all over the office, you'd suddenly hear CRACK!--the sound of traps going off, followed by smothered giggles and snorts.

I suspect that my stalwarts, my fellow workers, all raced out and got mousetraps, and started snapping them whenever so-and-so was in the vicinity. It was like the early warning system. I know that the next 5-10 times I saw him striding around the office, his face was PURPLE. I mean, PURPLE. He obviously didn't think it was very funny. I mean, sure, his hand hurt like hell (no, no, it wasn't actually broken, just banged to sh*t), but his pride was significantly more damaged.

But, curiously enough, bizarre coincidence that it was, I never had another thing stolen, in all the years that I still worked out of that office, whether I was contracting full time or just an hour here or there.

You simply can't be too cautious and careful, around vermin. You know how they breed.

Hitch

This is hands down one of the best work theft/co-workers stories I've ever read. Good good stuff. I can't wait to share it with my husband.

Years ago when we were first married, we had a mixed breed collie named Gypsy. She was the best smartest dog I've ever known, and she rarely bothered anything. Except paper napkins, paper towels, etc. Hubby would leave for work, she would pout because he was gone, stick her nose in the trash, find some paper, and shred it all over the floor.

One morning he set a mousetrap under some wadded paper towels, and stood outside the door after he pulled it shut. He heard the snap, heard Gypsy run across the wood floor, came back in, and she was lying in the living room like nothing had happened.

She never tore up any paper again. This didn't hurt her btw. Best dog ever. Over 100 pounds, adults were terrified of her, kids would hug and tackle her. She would turn tree limbs into sawdust in the yard when she got bored.

[FizzyWater]

Desk keys?

We're not allowed to leave our cabinets or drawers unlocked unless we're at our desks - and yes, there are people who randomly go around and check.

If the keys are left on the desktop (or even hidden in a mug or under the keyboard) they are confiscated and you have to go get them.

[Rumpelteazer]

I just realized that the friends I'm dog sitting for will be leaving on a Saturday, which isn't the greatest day for me. Until a couple of years ago they would leave on a weekday. I would take the day off work, cycle to their house in the morning, do some shopping, settle in, after dinner my father would drop off my stuff and I would unpack.

I can't take a Saturday off, since it's the busiest day of the week in the store. After 5pm I cycle over, take the dog for a walk and order dinner. My father brings my stuff in the evening and on Sunday I can do the shopping and settle in properly.