Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 200

SolRaven · 05-12-2011, 12:12 AM

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world……...

………….Then He made the earth round.

Fbone · 05-12-2011, 01:11 AM

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

odiakkoh · 05-12-2011, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Lol! Definitely using that one on my husband.

pilotbob · 05-12-2011, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohmi2

"My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and
I will be happy to change
things back to the way
they were.
But you'll have to wait
nine months, though.
You got pregnant last night"

Oh that God. Quite a sense of humor she has.

BOb

badgoodDeb · 05-12-2011, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolRaven

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world……...

………….Then He made the earth round.

Love it!

Fbone · 05-12-2011, 07:30 PM

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

SolRaven · 05-12-2011, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Good question!

dreams · 05-13-2011, 02:48 AM

Three men had to cross a lake.

The first one prayed to God for the strength.
He swam across the lake, but almost died 5 times.

The second man prayed to God for the strength and the tools.
He made a boat and rowed himself across the lake, but almost died 3 times.

The third man prayed to God for the strength, the tools, and the brains.

He turned into a woman, walked 4 yards, and crossed the bridge.

SolRaven · 05-13-2011, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreams

Three men had to cross a lake.

The first one prayed to God for the strength.
He swam across the lake, but almost died 5 times.

The second man prayed to God for the strength and the tools.
He made a boat and rowed himself across the lake, but almost died 3 times.

The third man prayed to God for the strength, the tools, and the brains.

He turned into a woman, walked 4 yards, and crossed the bridge.

LMAO!!! I love it!

nohmi2 · 05-13-2011, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolRaven

LMAO!!! I love it!

So did I!

A book of instructions for men who do not understand women

Attachment 71302

Cheers

poohbear_nc · 05-13-2011, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohmi2

So did I!

A book of instructions for men who do not understand women

Attachment 71302

Cheers

Does it have pictures?

orlok · 05-13-2011, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Does it have pictures?

It would have to have, or we wouldn't read it.

MJK2111 · 05-13-2011, 11:14 AM

Ever notice how famous people are always born on holidays?

badgoodDeb · 05-13-2011, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because they CAN.

orlok · 05-13-2011, 03:02 PM

A few David Beckham jokes:

1) Dave goes into a restaurant and after looking at the menu says to the waitress, “Can I please have a quickie?”

The waitress slaps him across the face and storms off. Taken aback somewhat, Dave calls over another waitress and Tries again. “Could a have a quickie please ?“ and again he gets a slap across the face for his trouble.

Seeing his distress at this little lot, a lady at the next table leans over and says “I think that it is pronounced ‘quiche“.

2) Why does David go outside when it is lightning ? He thinks that someone is taking photos.

3) Why was David delighted when he finished a jigsaw puzzle in two days ? On the box it said “3 - 4 years”.

4) David picks up a Thermos flask and asks the shopkeeper what it is for. It’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”.

“Great, I’ll have one of those” says Dave. Next day at training he shows it to a team mate and tells him “This is a Thermos flask, it’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”.

“So what have you got in it?” asks his mate.

“Two ice lollies and a cup of hot chocolate”

5) David checks into a hotel and the porter offers to show him to his room. As the door opens, Becks looks inside and says “Hey this isn’t the room I asked for, there’s no windows, no en-suite, no bed”.

“No Mr Beckham” says the porter, “This is the lift”.

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05-12-2011, 12:12 AM	#2986
SolRaven Wizard Posts: 2,214 Karma: 12796976 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: The Sunshine State Device: Clara, Voyage, Oasis, Paperwhite & PRS-650	While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world……... ………….Then He made the earth round.

05-12-2011, 01:11 AM	#2987
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

05-12-2011, 07:30 PM	#2991
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,296 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

05-13-2011, 02:48 AM	#2993
dreams It's about the umbrella Posts: 25,110 Karma: 56250158 Join Date: Jan 2009 Device: Sony 505\| K Fire \| KK 3G+Wi-Fi \| iPhone 3Gs \|Vista 32-bit Hm Prem w/FF	Three men had to cross a lake. The first one prayed to God for the strength. He swam across the lake, but almost died 5 times. The second man prayed to God for the strength and the tools. He made a boat and rowed himself across the lake, but almost died 3 times. The third man prayed to God for the strength, the tools, and the brains. He turned into a woman, walked 4 yards, and crossed the bridge.

05-13-2011, 11:14 AM	#2998
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Ever notice how famous people are always born on holidays?

05-13-2011, 03:02 PM	#3000
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A few David Beckham jokes: 1) Dave goes into a restaurant and after looking at the menu says to the waitress, “Can I please have a quickie?” The waitress slaps him across the face and storms off. Taken aback somewhat, Dave calls over another waitress and Tries again. “Could a have a quickie please ?“ and again he gets a slap across the face for his trouble. Seeing his distress at this little lot, a lady at the next table leans over and says “I think that it is pronounced ‘quiche“. 2) Why does David go outside when it is lightning ? He thinks that someone is taking photos. 3) Why was David delighted when he finished a jigsaw puzzle in two days ? On the box it said “3 - 4 years”. 4) David picks up a Thermos flask and asks the shopkeeper what it is for. It’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”. “Great, I’ll have one of those” says Dave. Next day at training he shows it to a team mate and tells him “This is a Thermos flask, it’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”. “So what have you got in it?” asks his mate. “Two ice lollies and a cup of hot chocolate” 5) David checks into a hotel and the porter offers to show him to his room. As the door opens, Becks looks inside and says “Hey this isn’t the room I asked for, there’s no windows, no en-suite, no bed”. “No Mr Beckham” says the porter, “This is the lift”.