Seriously thoughtful My message to the male population (and anyone else who cares to read)

[ardeegee]

Originally Posted by Spoon Man

Something that just occured to me, I think the current divorce rate (52% in the US if I'm not mistaken) I believe has a lot to do with this issue.

One could argue seeing parents suffering in an unhappy marriage to be more damaging than dealing with divorce.

[Spoon Man]

Well, in watching children go through both of these, I would say that children who watch their parents making things work tend to have a better temperament and better understanding of others. While children who have been through a divorce tend to more self absorbed and definitely act out more.

One child in my class, at the age of 8, had been through 2 divorces. This girl was in bad shape in a bad way emotionally.

[TGS]

Originally Posted by Spoon Man

It is unfortunate today that males are being raised up to self gratify.

Perhaps if more men actually did restrict their romantic and emotional attachments to the activity you suggest then the problems you describe would not be so apparent.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by ardeegee

One could argue seeing parents suffering in an unhappy marriage to be more damaging than dealing with divorce.

It's often puzzled me that only unhappy adults can break up a family. I reckon there are plenty of young siblings who'd like to see the back of each other; or even the back of one or other of their parents.
Of course, they can wait till they're grown-up - but parents could wait till their kids are grown-up too.
Families are more than just the mother-father relationship - but it seems that relationship is regarded as more important than any other; and if that relationship founders the family unit can't survive.

[Spoon Man]

I've had the phenomenon explained to me like this:
The parents are the backbone of any family. The relationship that they display sets the stage for all other relationships in their children's adolescent and later adult lives. In this way, the relationship between the mother and father must be the most protected because of the bearing it has on the development of the children. If the parents fail, its starts a cycle of emotional destruction that can, if left unchecked by the conscious decision of the children and with support of close friends, reach out for many generations. That is why, in this current situation of marriages, I do not see the country surviving without a drastic movement towards keeping families together and people in control of their urges.

This was from a conversation I was having a while back with a friend of mine who is a marriage counselor, and has been for upwards of 15yrs or so.

[TGS]

Families come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, genders and living arrangements. There seems to be an assumption running through this thread that the only valid family form is a heterosexual couple living under the same roof with their biologically produced children with, presumably, the woman providing primary care to the children and the man providing the primary income.

There are many determinants of the psychological and emotional health of children and adults, and no evidence that a particular form of organisation, on its own, has much to do with it.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by TGS

Families come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, genders and living arrangements. There seems to be an assumption running through this thread that the only valid family form is a heterosexual couple living under the same roof with their biologically produced children with, presumably, the woman providing primary care to the children and the man providing the primary income.

That's a fair point, my post probably fell into that category because I was too lazy to acknowledge what you have pointed out.
My apologies .

[Spoon Man]

TGS you are correct, I was using the heterosexual couple an example because it most often comes to mind, however I believe these principals can be applied in just about every other context I can think of.