Unutterably Silly Women of Paris, Hand Over Your Trousers!!!

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Ahem. (doggie clears throat) Um, in an attempt to comply with The Queen's directive, will all the ladies in The Llounge please now remove your trousers? And, well, I guess to be fair to all genders and persuasions, all you guys should please follow suit. Please. Me? I'm always buck nekkid, at least at heart.

Dear Sir or Madame,

I cannot in all faith comply with your directive as I am currently bereft in the trousal area.

Yours

Mr Arnold Pants. OBE, MBE, ET Phone Home

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Ahem. (doggie clears throat) Um, in an attempt to comply with The Queen's directive, will all the ladies in The Llounge please now remove your trousers? And, well, I guess to be fair to all genders and persuasions, all you guys should please follow suit. Please. Me? I'm always buck nekkid, at least at heart.

You sure you want that? To see a model for a fat Texas Sheriff without his pants?

Be afraid, be very afraid!!!!!

[Moejoe]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

aw, moejoe, you just want us to take our trousers off ! silly man. just ask next time ! it might work.

Ahh, but my plan was far more ingenious.

For ten years I scoured the globe in search of the fabled Paris Eye Diamond (as big as man's heart, if that man is in love). Once I'd stolen the diamond from a cartel that consisted of Royalty, Billionaires and some bloke called Terry, I took a chartered boat to the Polynesian Island of Wiki-wiki-hoo-ha, there to construct...a time machine!

The climate was harsh, the food terrible, and the twice-nightly Cabaret appallingly amateurish, but I muddled through and finally, finally the time machine was complete, but my plan was not yet workable. In my haste I had forgotten the most important part; to learn French!!!

Having my time machine at hand I raced back through history to collect famous Frenchies* - Napoleon, Balzac, Eric Cantona! - so that they could teach me the mother tongue of La Belle France. Five years of intense study and I could put my plan into action.

I raced back to the Paris of 1790 and there I assumed the identity of the scholarly scholar Hubert Augustus Lemonade, and through the following years I forged relationships with a series of influential politicians. Gaining their trust through 'favours' and the baking of croissants, I managed, after ten years to convince enough of them to enact the Trouser Law!

And all of this in an attempt to get the women of Paris to take off their trousers!

But, in the end....it was far easier than dating

*this is in no way a ripoff of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, even though it is

[GeoffC]

Just to observe the lunacy in the UK also....


Silly UK laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen’s image upside-down
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow
11. It is illegal to hang washing in the street
12. It is illegal to beat a carpet in the street
13. It is illegal to fly a kite in the street
14. It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a horse, cow or steam engine
15. It is illegal to fire a cannon close to a dwelling house
16. It is illegal to bet or gamble in the library reading room
17. It is illegal to use any slide upon ice or snow
18. It is illegal to drive cattle through the streets of London
19. It is illegal to sing any profane or obscene song or ballad, or use any profane or obscene language
20. It is illegal to light a firework! (seriously: Section 28 of the Town Police Clauses Act 1847)

[GeoffC]

Okay -just to be fair to everyone ....

Silly laws from around the world:

1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation
3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror
4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm
5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama
6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed
7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth
8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits
9. There is no age of consent in Japan
10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon
11. In Calgary in Canada, one must have a hitching post outside of their business establishment.
12. Still in Calgary, if one is kicked out of the city, the accused is entitled a horse and a day’s worth of rations to see them to the next city. (Old Cowboy rules)

[ravenne]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Okay -just to be fair to everyone ....

Silly laws from around the world:

1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk

But your are allowed to get the blue one next to it drunk, right?

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Ahem. (doggie clears throat) Um, in an attempt to comply with The Queen's directive, will all the ladies in The Llounge please now remove your trousers? And, well, I guess to be fair to all genders and persuasions, all you guys should please follow suit. Please. Me? I'm always buck nekkid, at least at heart.

Sorry, never been to Paris... No reason why I should follow Parisian rules!

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Just to observe the lunacy in the UK also....


Silly UK laws:

<snip>

I knew nr 5, it was on Discovery Channel a few years back (they had one silly law between every program...)

And it's illegal to light fireworks here. There is a general dispensation on December 31st from 10:00 till 02:00 on January 1st. You will have to ask for dispensation if you want to light fireworks at other times of the year.

Originally Posted by GeoffC

4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm

Should be 24 hours a day, all over the world, unless it's a urinal.

[Slite]

I especially like some of the laws found in Alaska...

1: A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have intimate relations with one another on city streets. (And you will enforce this how?)

2: Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. (This is just silly)

3: While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. (why would I even want to?)

4: It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (sometime, somewhere in Alaska.. this MUST have happened, why else forbid it?)

5: No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. (Oh rly?)

6: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (riiiiight!)

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Dear Sir or Madame,

I cannot in all faith comply with your directive as I am currently bereft in the trousal area.

Yours

Mr Arnold Pants. OBE, MBE, ET Phone Home

Right! This thread is getting silly! One more incidence of un called for sillines and I will close it right down! Now let's see something worth looking at! Like close order drills!

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Just to observe the lunacy in the UK also....


Silly UK laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen’s image upside-down
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow
11. It is illegal to hang washing in the street
12. It is illegal to beat a carpet in the street
13. It is illegal to fly a kite in the street
14. It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a horse, cow or steam engine
15. It is illegal to fire a cannon close to a dwelling house
16. It is illegal to bet or gamble in the library reading room
17. It is illegal to use any slide upon ice or snow
18. It is illegal to drive cattle through the streets of London
19. It is illegal to sing any profane or obscene song or ballad, or use any profane or obscene language
20. It is illegal to light a firework! (seriously: Section 28 of the Town Police Clauses Act 1847)

I can probably still be behind #18. That could get messy and dangerous to the cattle.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Madam Broshkina

I just want to let everyone know that not all of France is as backwards as Paris. Their is motel in Nantes that gives customers the chance to live like a hamster for a day, with a room featuring bales of straw and a giant wheel to exercise in.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/de...e-rodents.html

Sounds like a nice place for a meetup!

thank god there are still decent places to run around a hamster wheel !

Originally Posted by fugazied

Who are these good looking people in the photo?! If ladies look that good they can pull off pants no worries.

some of them can even keep their pants ON !

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Ahem. (doggie clears throat) Um, in an attempt to comply with The Queen's directive, will all the ladies in The Llounge please now remove your trousers? And, well, I guess to be fair to all genders and persuasions, all you guys should please follow suit. Please. Me? I'm always buck nekkid, at least at heart.

as we all should be, vr.

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Dear Sir or Madame,

I cannot in all faith comply with your directive as I am currently bereft in the trousal area.

Yours

Mr Arnold Pants. OBE, MBE, ET Phone Home

that's the spirit !

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Ahh, but my plan was far more ingenious.

For ten years I scoured the globe in search of the fabled Paris Eye Diamond (as big as man's heart, if that man is in love). Once I'd stolen the diamond from a cartel that consisted of Royalty, Billionaires and some bloke called Terry, I took a chartered boat to the Polynesian Island of Wiki-wiki-hoo-ha, there to construct...a time machine!

The climate was harsh, the food terrible, and the twice-nightly Cabaret appallingly amateurish, but I muddled through and finally, finally the time machine was complete, but my plan was not yet workable. In my haste I had forgotten the most important part; to learn French!!!

Having my time machine at hand I raced back through history to collect famous Frenchies* - Napoleon, Balzac, Eric Cantona! - so that they could teach me the mother tongue of La Belle France. Five years of intense study and I could put my plan into action.

I raced back to the Paris of 1790 and there I assumed the identity of the scholarly scholar Hubert Augustus Lemonade, and through the following years I forged relationships with a series of influential politicians. Gaining their trust through 'favours' and the baking of croissants, I managed, after ten years to convince enough of them to enact the Trouser Law!

And all of this in an attempt to get the women of Paris to take off their trousers!

But, in the end....it was far easier than dating

*this is in no way a ripoff of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, even though it is

Originally Posted by ravenne

But your are allowed to get the blue one next to it drunk, right?

actually i think it's illegal *not* to offer it a drink !

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Right! This thread is getting silly! One more incidence of un called for sillines and I will close it right down! Now let's see something worth looking at! Like close order drills!

all right then.

[pshrynk]

Time for a cartoon!

[Greg Anos]

When do you want that firm date, Zelda? I'll have to get tickets....

[GraceKrispy]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Yes. Effortless grace.

Oh, sorry, did someone call me? And did that someone call me lazy?

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Ahem. (doggie clears throat) Um, in an attempt to comply with The Queen's directive, will all the ladies in The Llounge please now remove your trousers? And, well, I guess to be fair to all genders and persuasions, all you guys should please follow suit. Please. Me? I'm always buck nekkid, at least at heart.

Iʻve never owned a pair of trousers in my life, thank you! At least not that I ever called "trousers!"

Originally Posted by ravenne

But your are allowed to get the blue one next to it drunk, right?

Only if you feed it eleventy beers in PORTUGAL!


And what did I learn, really and truly, from this thread? Alaskans must really care about their meese.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by GraceKrispy

Oh, sorry, did someone call me? And did that someone call me lazy?



Iʻve never owned a pair of trousers in my life, thank you! At least not that I ever called "trousers!"


Only if you feed it eleventy beers in PORTUGAL!


And what did I learn, really and truly, from this thread? Alaskans must really care about their meese.

No they don't, if they did they would allow them to have "intimate relations" in the street.