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#16 |
When's Doughnut Day?
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Karma: 13675475
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Houston, TX, US
Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad
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Wait... What? I would just like some bacon, thank you, and not in a tube, jar, can, paste, gel, spray, or other form besides it's original.
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#17 |
the snarky blue one
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Karma: 3877825
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: deep in the heart
Device: PRS500, 505 & 600, PRST1 & T2, Kindle PW, Moto Razr, Galaxy Tab 2-10"
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#18 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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Excuse ME !!!!
Error - 404 - File Not Found These are not the erroids you're looking for. You can go about your business. .....charming ..... |
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#19 |
When's Doughnut Day?
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Karma: 13675475
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Houston, TX, US
Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad
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Well, it just kinda seemed appropriate for a new Win 7 user like yourself. Okay, if you insist, Mr. Cat-Dog-Cat, I'll try to find you something more to your pleasing. Let's see a fluffy ball on a stick thing is out. A bucket of bacon is out. Hmmm. This may take some time. I'll get back to you.
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#20 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Karma: 8255450
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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I gotta go into Vivaldi's doghouse? Not without a case of Frontline Plus!
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#21 | |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Karma: 921169
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Paris, France
Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?
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Quote:
it would be an honour to participate in this mission. i await your instructions. |
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#22 |
When's Doughnut Day?
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Karma: 13675475
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Houston, TX, US
Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad
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Hang on now! Just a bit o' bacon will do, thanks!
Last edited by vivaldirules; 10-30-2009 at 04:38 PM. |
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#23 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Karma: 8255450
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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No no. If I'm going into the temporo-spatial vortex of your dog house, I'm definitely coming back with something more "interesting" than bacon...
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#24 |
Professional Adventuress
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Karma: 50260224
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: The Olympic Peninsula on the OTHER Washington! (the big green clean one on the west coast!)
Device: Kindle, the original! Times Two! and gifting an International Kindle
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fleas?
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#25 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Karma: 8255450
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!
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Well, that's one of the minor hazards you run into there.
Don't get me started on auto-mobilized squeek toys... |
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#26 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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Karma: 20821184
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
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#27 |
DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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"Welcome to LazyScot's Hibernaculum's Messaging Center. Please select one of the following options, and remember, your call is important to LazyScot." Sometimes, thought Agent Verencat as she listened to the phone, Agent Scot took the title of SMF sleeping agent a little too literally.
"If you wish to arrange delivery of Cranach, please press 1. For deliveries of Scotch, please press 2. For deliveries of chocolate, please press 4. For all other deliveries, please press 5. If you wish to speak to the awful puns department, please press 6. For all inquiries relating to moneys owed please press 71783645619587346815487371864. For details of the release dates of stories, please press 8. To request an explanation of DSil, please press 9. For more options please press 0." Tom Cruise never had to do this in the movies, thought Verencat as she pressed 0. "Thank you. If you are calling for or on behalf of the PNS, please press 1. If you are calling on behalf of Adrian to arrange further sessions of re-education, please press 2. If you wish to negotiate movie rights to my life story, please press 3. If you are from another super-secret organisation and wish to contact me, please press 4. If you wish to return to the start of the menu system, please press 5. If you have lost your mind and wish to be transferred to a help line, please press 6 or take three ZCDs and call back in the morning. If…" Verencat pressed 4, and started considering a strongly worded memo to the DG about LazyScot and his contact number. "Thank you. Please remember that your call is important to me. I appreciate the time you are taking to contact me. You help in correctly directing your call to me is will assist me in dealing with your call as quickly as possible. Please press 6 to continue." Verencat pressed 6. "Thank you. If you are calling from the MUS please press 1, if you are calling from the Ministry of Misinformation, press 2. If you are calling from the CPZ, press 3. If you are calling from SMF press 4, If you are call.." Verencat pressed 4, and mentally rewrote the memo using somewhat stronger language. "Thank you. For verification purposes, please enter you authorisation code, followed by the hash key. And if you don't know what the hash key is, tough. I have to put up with everyone asking me to press the pound key on a phone, and it doesn't have a pound key so I…." Verencat carefully entered her 10 digit code 7369872801. "I'm sorry. Code 7369872904 is not recognized. BEEEEEP, " and the phone line hung up. Oh drat, though Verencat, as she dialled the number again, only to find the menu options had changed. <some time, and numerous keypresses, later> "I'm sorry. Code 7369872981 is not recognized. BEEEEEP, " and the phone line hung up. Verencat thought some very unladylike thoughts at this point. And decided that a memo was not appropriate, and instead programmed her SMF issue trebuchet with the co-ordinates of LazyScot's Hibernaculum's Phone Menu system. And wondered if, perhaps, the PNS had good reason for victimising LazyScot. Ever the optimist, she dialled again. <some time, and numerous keypresses, later.> "Oh good grief. If you are that determined, I suppose I'd better let you leave a message. Please speak after the tone, and hang up once finished." "Agent Scot, you are required immediately for an SMF mission to locate and acquire the ideal Christmas Present for Agent Rules. We are assembling at the meeting point codenamed Doughnut Store Alpha at precisely 07:30am tomorrow, local time. Be there. Or be squirrel food. Your choice. Oh, and you have about 23 minutes until a trebuchet load of Ikea catalogues hit your telephone menu system at terminal velocity. Terminal, that is, for the telephone system and anything within approximately 400 metres," said Verencat in a tone of pure steel that was completely surprising to anyone who knew her. |
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#28 |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Karma: 921169
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Paris, France
Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?
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agent pinwheel presses "9" firmly, with at least 20 minutes to spare before total destruction of the telephone menu system by ikea catalogue.
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#29 |
WWHALD
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Karma: 337114
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK
Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here
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The short-n-cuddly one dials in the delivery pizza company's number, and is somewhat taken aback by their new choices. As she tries to decide between choices 1, 2 and 4 she hears the last option. DSiL? Worth finding out. She presses 9...
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#30 | |
DSil
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Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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Quote:
And with that a medley of Abba's greatest hits started playing, with predicatable results. Zelda pressed 5, nearly breaking the phone in the process. "Welcome to the hold music selection service. for a medley of Abba's greatest hits press 0, for a medley of Eurovision winners, please press 1, for a medley of Eurovision runner's up, please press 2. For a medley of Abba's greatest hits performed by Lordi and accompanied by St. Winifred's School choir press 3, for a medley of Andy Stewart's greatest Hogmany hits, press 4, for voulez-vous and super trouper played backwards on the bagpipes press 5, for a 1kHz test tone, press 6, for a hearing test press 7, for a recitation of Vogon poetry press 8, and for Eddie Reader press 9." |
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