Red Redux - The Case Of The Desert Pirates - Page 2

Greg Anos · 03-05-2009, 09:34 AM

After I hung up with Bubba. I got into my special little safe, pulled out the special gimmick I knew I would need for this adventure. Ralph had invented them 10 years ago when we had first encounter the Men In Black. The neuralizer didn't work on dogs, which gave Ralph the hint on it's existance and how it worked, so he whipped up a shield that could be used as contact lenses for me. We then had to do a little convincing to get them off our backs. I hope L got over his limp...
I kept a dozen pair in the safe, along with other various do-dads I had picked up over the years. I don't care what Doc told Bubba when he was a kid, sometimes there's no substitute for gadgets.
I move my eyelids crossways. The world darkened a bit, just like it should. I decided to have some fun with Mindy.
I walked into the reception room with the shields still active. They make your eyes look silvery.
"Got the reservations yet?"
Mindy looked up at me, saw my silvery eyes, and sqauwked "Boss! What happened to you? Do you become a Homo In Excelsis?"
I reverse crossed my eyelid and the contacts went back to clear. Mindy shuddered.
"Don't do that! It's disgusting."
"Sorry Mindy, but these contacts are gadgets I'll need on this case. Trust me, I know I will."
"Just don't do it around me. Here's your flight," handing me the confrmation code, "and here is you hotel reservation at the <blank> hotel near Suprise. (I inserted blank for the hotel name 'cause they aren't paying me for the plug.) And you've got your usual rental car waiting. Hopefully you won't turn it back in all shot up, like BadGoodDeb did."
"Gee Mindy, you really care about me."
"No Boss, I care about my paycheck clearing. If you're full of holes, the bank'll stop-pay it."

So I headed to Phoenix. The flight aboard the Sardine Tin was uneventful, and the first thing I did after rentin' the Jeep was to go see DesertGrandma.
I could feel that cold, metallic, third eye tracking me as I pulled into the driveway, but I knew I wouldn't get plugged without a parley. So I got out and walked to the door.
Before I could ring it, a lady's voice came out of the house.
"Who'se there?"
"Red, ma'am."
"How do I know it's you."
"Got any Pearl?"
"Alright, It's you." She then show up at the door, holding a pump 12 gauge, and unlocks the door. "Come on in."
"Can I sit down? And would you stop pointin' you gun at me? I'm allergic to being shot by my own client."
"What about being shot by the bad guys?"
"That's part of the profession. Bein' shot by the client is embarrassin'."
"Mind if I keep it handy?"
"Ok by me, ma'am. Now DG, any word on your husband?"
"No, Red. Who were those people who kidnapped my husband?"
"I'll tell you, but first off, you'll won't believe it."
"I'll believe they kidnapped my husband!"
"Right. They are the local branch of the MIB, the Men In Black. They're in charge of dealin' with UFO's and their contents."
DesertGrandma interrupted. "Are they the black helicopter guys?"
"Naw, that's a different branch of the secret government. And don't ask me any more about 'em, 'cause I aint talkin'. Back to the MIB. They rarely bother normal people, but sometimes there's a conflict, like with DesertGrandpa. I'm certain they were real put out by their neuralizer not workin'."
"But why didn't they kidnap me as well?"
"My guess, based on what you told me on the phone, is that they didn't realize you weren't being affected by the neuralizer. You stopped out of suprise, and they took it as you stoppin' because of the gadget. When your husband kept goin' after them with his baseball bat after they'd zapped him, they realized the neuralizer didn't work on him, and they hauled him away so that - one, he wouldn't talk. and two - they could figger out why their neuralizer didn't work. I'd like to know the reason for that, myself. It'd make it easier to deal with those boys."
"What about the Gila Monster?"
"I figger it was an alien in disguise, wandering around lookin' at things. You know how tourists can be, always stickin' their noses where they shouldn't. I expect that was why the MIB guy was talkin' to him, probably givin' him a chewin' out for not followin' the tour guide rules. That's just a guess on my part, though.
"Now, I gotta go over to the Ranger's spring trainin' game now, and I'll come back and ask some more questions when it's over."
"I though you were goin' to help me find my husband, not watch baseball."
"Trust me, ma'am, I got my reasons. You can never tell when some electronic bug's listening in. Ok?"
"Well, I guess I can see the need for hush-hush. You come right back after the game, Red."
"Yes, Ma'am."
So I left and went to see the Rangers play.

zelda_pinwheel · 03-05-2009, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

Read The Case Of The Golden Coprolite, she had a little bigger role....

i love mrs. slocum.

pfff, like anybody's going to believe you're going to a baseball game for *tactical* reasons.

hm, aliens ! Men In Black !! the plot thickens.

Greg Anos · 03-05-2009, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i love mrs. slocum.

pfff, like anybody's going to believe you're going to a baseball game for *tactical* reasons.

hm, aliens ! Men In Black !! the plot thickens.

You just wait till the next post, and you'll eat your words.....

pshrynk · 03-05-2009, 09:44 AM

Pearl Beer and the Rangers. I fear that Red is a man of low tastes...

Greg Anos · 03-05-2009, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Pearl Beer and the Rangers. I fear that Red is a man of low tastes...

And D--ned proud of 'em!

GeoffC · 03-05-2009, 09:50 AM

Rangers were beaten last night, by a lowly team ( ! ) ....

pshrynk · 03-05-2009, 09:53 AM

If you're a Rangers fan, then every other team is lowly... They are, after all the only MLB team ever to be formely owned by a former President.

GeoffC · 03-05-2009, 09:56 AM

Rangers fan - I cannot tell a lie, so I shall not comment on that question. They lost at home, 1:0 .... shocking ....

pshrynk · 03-05-2009, 10:05 AM

Well, at this time, "home" is a relative term. During Spring Training, they play in Arizona or Florida. The "home" filed is generally shared with at least one other team. Sometimes, you have two "home" teams on the same field.

Greg Anos · 03-05-2009, 10:10 AM

That's why Red likes to go to spring training games. He can watch the Rangers without the losses counting.....

GeoffC · 03-05-2009, 10:16 AM

I think we have an "over the pond" interpretation problem here : you mean that Rangers, whilst I mean this Rangers ....

Greg Anos · 03-05-2009, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

I think we have an "over the pond" interpretation problem here : you mean that Rangers, whilst I mean this Rangers ....

When Red talks about the Rangers, he means the Texas Rangers, American Baseball franchise....

badgoodDeb · 03-05-2009, 03:30 PM

My appointment book is empty this week, in case you need any hired help! Oh, and Guarnim has a really to-die-for axe. I just love the shape of that thing!

ShortNCuddlyAm · 03-05-2009, 05:55 PM

And Geoff is, I think, talking about one half of the Glasgow Old Firm

ShortNCuddlyAm · 03-05-2009, 05:55 PM

Oh - and very good so far - thank you!

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03-05-2009, 09:34 AM	#16
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,528 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	After I hung up with Bubba. I got into my special little safe, pulled out the special gimmick I knew I would need for this adventure. Ralph had invented them 10 years ago when we had first encounter the Men In Black. The neuralizer didn't work on dogs, which gave Ralph the hint on it's existance and how it worked, so he whipped up a shield that could be used as contact lenses for me. We then had to do a little convincing to get them off our backs. I hope L got over his limp... I kept a dozen pair in the safe, along with other various do-dads I had picked up over the years. I don't care what Doc told Bubba when he was a kid, sometimes there's no substitute for gadgets. I move my eyelids crossways. The world darkened a bit, just like it should. I decided to have some fun with Mindy. I walked into the reception room with the shields still active. They make your eyes look silvery. "Got the reservations yet?" Mindy looked up at me, saw my silvery eyes, and sqauwked "Boss! What happened to you? Do you become a Homo In Excelsis?" I reverse crossed my eyelid and the contacts went back to clear. Mindy shuddered. "Don't do that! It's disgusting." "Sorry Mindy, but these contacts are gadgets I'll need on this case. Trust me, I know I will." "Just don't do it around me. Here's your flight," handing me the confrmation code, "and here is you hotel reservation at the <blank> hotel near Suprise. (I inserted blank for the hotel name 'cause they aren't paying me for the plug.) And you've got your usual rental car waiting. Hopefully you won't turn it back in all shot up, like BadGoodDeb did." "Gee Mindy, you really care about me." "No Boss, I care about my paycheck clearing. If you're full of holes, the bank'll stop-pay it." So I headed to Phoenix. The flight aboard the Sardine Tin was uneventful, and the first thing I did after rentin' the Jeep was to go see DesertGrandma. I could feel that cold, metallic, third eye tracking me as I pulled into the driveway, but I knew I wouldn't get plugged without a parley. So I got out and walked to the door. Before I could ring it, a lady's voice came out of the house. "Who'se there?" "Red, ma'am." "How do I know it's you." "Got any Pearl?" "Alright, It's you." She then show up at the door, holding a pump 12 gauge, and unlocks the door. "Come on in." "Can I sit down? And would you stop pointin' you gun at me? I'm allergic to being shot by my own client." "What about being shot by the bad guys?" "That's part of the profession. Bein' shot by the client is embarrassin'." "Mind if I keep it handy?" "Ok by me, ma'am. Now DG, any word on your husband?" "No, Red. Who were those people who kidnapped my husband?" "I'll tell you, but first off, you'll won't believe it." "I'll believe they kidnapped my husband!" "Right. They are the local branch of the MIB, the Men In Black. They're in charge of dealin' with UFO's and their contents." DesertGrandma interrupted. "Are they the black helicopter guys?" "Naw, that's a different branch of the secret government. And don't ask me any more about 'em, 'cause I aint talkin'. Back to the MIB. They rarely bother normal people, but sometimes there's a conflict, like with DesertGrandpa. I'm certain they were real put out by their neuralizer not workin'." "But why didn't they kidnap me as well?" "My guess, based on what you told me on the phone, is that they didn't realize you weren't being affected by the neuralizer. You stopped out of suprise, and they took it as you stoppin' because of the gadget. When your husband kept goin' after them with his baseball bat after they'd zapped him, they realized the neuralizer didn't work on him, and they hauled him away so that - one, he wouldn't talk. and two - they could figger out why their neuralizer didn't work. I'd like to know the reason for that, myself. It'd make it easier to deal with those boys." "What about the Gila Monster?" "I figger it was an alien in disguise, wandering around lookin' at things. You know how tourists can be, always stickin' their noses where they shouldn't. I expect that was why the MIB guy was talkin' to him, probably givin' him a chewin' out for not followin' the tour guide rules. That's just a guess on my part, though. "Now, I gotta go over to the Ranger's spring trainin' game now, and I'll come back and ask some more questions when it's over." "I though you were goin' to help me find my husband, not watch baseball." "Trust me, ma'am, I got my reasons. You can never tell when some electronic bug's listening in. Ok?" "Well, I guess I can see the need for hush-hush. You come right back after the game, Red." "Yes, Ma'am." So I left and went to see the Rangers play.

03-05-2009, 09:44 AM	#19
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Pearl Beer and the Rangers. I fear that Red is a man of low tastes...

03-05-2009, 09:50 AM	#21
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Rangers were beaten last night, by a lowly team ( ! ) ....

03-05-2009, 09:53 AM	#22
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	If you're a Rangers fan, then every other team is lowly... They are, after all the only MLB team ever to be formely owned by a former President.

03-05-2009, 09:56 AM	#23
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Rangers fan - I cannot tell a lie, so I shall not comment on that question. They lost at home, 1:0 .... shocking ....

03-05-2009, 10:05 AM	#24
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Well, at this time, "home" is a relative term. During Spring Training, they play in Arizona or Florida. The "home" filed is generally shared with at least one other team. Sometimes, you have two "home" teams on the same field.

03-05-2009, 10:10 AM	#25
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,528 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	That's why Red likes to go to spring training games. He can watch the Rangers without the losses counting.....

03-05-2009, 10:16 AM	#26
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I think we have an "over the pond" interpretation problem here : you mean that Rangers, whilst I mean this Rangers ....

03-05-2009, 03:30 PM	#28
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,550 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	My appointment book is empty this week, in case you need any hired help! Oh, and Guarnim has a really to-die-for axe. I just love the shape of that thing!

03-05-2009, 05:55 PM	#29
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	And Geoff is, I think, talking about one half of the Glasgow Old Firm

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