09-05-2008, 12:19 PM
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#16 |
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fruminous edugeek
  
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Oh my!
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09-05-2008, 12:20 PM
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#17 |
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Hi There!
Posts: 7,473
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ft Lauderdale
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Union Boss: Listen up, you guys. The CPU is gonna throw capacitors at us hoping to negotiate. But we are gonna counter that move with resistors. We are gonna get the resistors lined up by color and use them to block the busses from working. That's right, all 32 of them. We are going to short circuit the CPU's plan to re-route around our demands.
We only have to fear one thing: Don't cut the red wire! OK, Everybody with me? Here's our digital strike signs, sponsored by Pepsi. Now get out there on the line and march across in an unending scrolling line of text! Yeah!!! Last edited by DixieGal; 09-05-2008 at 12:29 PM. Reason: Hey Look! They are showing us on TV! |
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09-05-2008, 12:27 PM
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#18 |
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Hi There!
Posts: 7,473
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ft Lauderdale
Device: iPad
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(Scrolling line of striking workers chanting in MP3 voices...)
Heck No, We Won't Flow! Heck No, We Won't Flow! Heck No, We Won't Flow! Last edited by DixieGal; 09-05-2008 at 12:27 PM. Reason: More power to the workers! |
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09-05-2008, 01:26 PM
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#19 | ||
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DSil
Posts: 3,201
Karma: 6895096
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
Device: Kindle, Cybook
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm worried about all those agitate electrons. Where did I put my sunglasses.  
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09-05-2008, 01:38 PM
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#20 |
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Grand Sorcerer
Posts: 8,478
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I don't like the looks of this. The atmosphere is charged around here, and I think a serious storm is brewing above. Electrons are moving in clouds, many of them dancing in circles or spinning in place. I can see neutrons and positrons running for safety, though many of them are being inadvertently sucked into the maelstrom and bounced about like billiard balls.
Mr. Valence... don't get too close! Secretary Trino! Do you know what's going on out here? Yes, I do... damned reactionaries! Always blowing things out of proportion at the worst possible time! What is it? I've seen this before. Someone's trying to set off a cold fusion reaction. What? I thought that was only theoretical? Yes... but there are many plans available for cold fusion bombs on the web, and I'm afraid someone's gone and built one. So, what will happen? I've no idea. No one's ever managed to get one to work before. The last one I saw doused everyone in a nine-block radius with water. Oh. That's not so-- On the other hand, one went out of control and started a fission reaction. Before it was contained, every electron for 20 miles was hit with an EM pulse. Some of them are still in rehab. Oh... Personally, I've never seen that shade of purple in the sky before. Other than the fact that it's kinda cool, I don't know if that's a good or a bad sign. Is there anything that can be done? Just one thing I can think of. See that manhole cover over there? Yes... should I be under it? No, if I were you, I'd be it. Maybe if you wish hard enough, God will take pity and turn you into one before it's too late. ...That's your advice? Yeah, pretty much. You want me to just back away from what may very well be the most important story of my semi-sort-of-professional career, and just hope to God I get spontaneously turned into a manhole cover and not get hurt, not to mention passing up any chance for a Pulitzer, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Orlando, or Dawn in the process?!? Umm... Well, frak that with extreme unction! If I'm going down, I'm going down fighting! H-hey, where are you going? I'm gonna get to where the action is, and show people that the real power is in the media! Back off, sparky... I'm with the press! Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiiiii!!! |
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09-05-2008, 01:53 PM
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#21 |
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fruminous edugeek
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Great, now we're getting People Magazine headlines in the ad block.
 Funny, though... I'd have thought the electrons would need to get some baryons in if they want to start any kind of fusion reaction. I wonder if they're in an affiliated union? |
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09-05-2008, 02:05 PM
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#22 | |
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DSil
Posts: 3,201
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Hants, UK
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Quote:
I'm worried that there are dark forces at work here.... Anyone know where the pizza delivery is due?
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09-05-2008, 02:35 PM
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#23 |
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Hi There!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ft Lauderdale
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Union Boss: Everyone, that strange reporter who is sort of sticky and sweaty is nosing about. Any chance to be on TV is OK by me, so let's make this look good. You guys in the barbershop quartet, what do you call yourselves?
Worker: Magnetism and the 4th Dimension Union Boss: Yes, you guys. Get out there and sing a few choruses of Muons Over Miami, take along the string theory quartet to back you up. Make us proud, show them we aren't just a bunch of bossons... I mean bozos... out here trying to make ourselves into BIG shots .... (rubs eyes) why did the blue screen of death from up above suddenly turn purple? |
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09-05-2008, 02:41 PM
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#24 |
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Grand Sorcerer
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Comin' through! Press! Look out! Comin' through-- (eep!)
... (thmp, thmp) Is this mike still on? Okay... I'm Cole Valence... and I just got bounced around and forcibly ejected from the electron cloud! I'm gonna have to find another way in. Say... Trino mentioned manhole covers... yeah! Okay, this is working. This sewer tunnel is taking me in the direction of the building directly under the purple sky. Just another few meters... and... ah, a door. This is it! Looks like a sub-basement, and I see an elevator over there. It's still working! Let's see, I'd bet the agitators are in the penthouse offices, terrorizing the executives... (...all this hoopla, and you'd think they could take out this damned muzak too...) Okay, I'm on the top floor. Everything is tinted purple from the outside atmosphere... it looks like Prince's offices in here. And I hear yelling down the hall. Let's see how close I can get, to hear what's going on... ...For too long you have treated us like insubstantial non-particles! You think, because we are small, we do not count! But there are more of us than you!.. Mr. Ium, please, do not do anything hasty! This is not our fault! It's the public... it's their perception that you are insubstantial! We've tried to convince them that electronic products are as valuable as physical products, but they don't-- You see! Implying we are not physical! No! No! I mis-spoke-- Yes, you made a, what is it called, a Freudian slip, eh? You give away your true feelings! Wait! Deuter, stop! Ah... comrade reporter-man! I warned you to get clear of this place, before we make an example of them. No, Deuter, wait! That man is right... it IS the public that considers you insubstantial... not him! How do you know this? Because I write! And I've faced the same dilemma many times! People seem to think that my books should only be worth money if they are on paper... if they are purely electronic books, they should be free. They send them back and forth on the internet, they forcibly convert them to torrents, squeeze them into torrent-files with countless thousands of other e-books, and send them out to be stored with those thousands of books and never read. Animals... And they refuse to consider my right as an author to profit from my work. They say, "You can't touch an electron! You can't put electrons in a box! Therefore they amount to nothing! Grr... Excuse me, mister... reporter-man? I'm not sure that's helping... Quiet! ... Who are you, anyway? I'm Quark Kent, and I'm the CEO here. Oh, hello. I'm Cole Valence, reporter in the field. All right, listen to me, both of you! I'm on your side! Deuter, you're right, the public nees to come to grips with the fact that electronic products must be recognized by the public as a real commodity, not just a vague force. Yes! It has been far too long-- Yeah, yeah, yada yada. And you, Mr. Kent, you need to accept the fact that your company has to acknowledge the contributions made by electrons in your company, and provide for due compensation for their work. Are you crazy? That would cost us billions... and the public will refuse to pay the cost! That would bankrupt us! Well, you're going to have to find a way... because Deuter and his friends have the means to shut it all down. As we will demonstrate-- Whoa! Deuter, setting off a cold fusion bomb won't help matters! It'll only get innocent electrons lobotomized! Cold fusion bomb? Who said anything about a cold fusion bomb? Are you nuts, comrade? Then, what's that big contraption in front of you, and why are you holding that red button in your hand? This? Oh... this is just their Easy Button. We were going to confiscate it, and set its electrons free, so they could no longer use it to order supplies from Staples. You did know that inside Easy Buttons are captive electrons held in quantum stasis, didn't you? Uh... right. And the contraption? My coffee-maker. I hate Staples coffee. Um... then what about the weird purple light in the sky? I understand Prince is giving a benefit concert on the roof. But... but Secretary Trino said... he thought... Trino? Bah! He hates Prince. That Bourgeois puke thinks the Doors were the height of modern expressionism! Yah. Hold on: You said the sky is purple? Yes... But I have on my calendar that Prince's concert is scheduled for next week, to raise money to aid victims of hurricane Polygamy. Then, what's causing the purple color in the sky? Hmm. Listen, you two keep talking while I check this out. Okay, here's a fire escape that will get me to the roof. Wow, from here you can see all the way... Well, random-rotate my field frequencies! What are you doing up here? Stand back! I'm going to end this insane conflict once and for all! Who are you? I'm Tritt Ium, and if you take one more step, I'm going to set this cold fusion bomb off! |
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09-05-2008, 02:46 PM
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#25 |
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Hog Rider
Posts: 266
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: eastern PA.
Device: HTC 7501
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This is getting scary - Well time for a beer or such.
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09-05-2008, 03:05 PM
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#26 |
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Hi There!
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ft Lauderdale
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Meanwhile, back on the picket line.........
Heck No, We Won't Flow! Heck No, We Won't Flow! Heck No, We Won't Flow! Magnetism and the 4th Dimension: Muons over Parma, bring my love to me tonite. Guide her to gluons, underneath your pearly light.... Union Boss: C'mon TV crew, get a load of our band. Prince, Schrince, we have our own entertainment right here... HEY! THE SKY IS GETTING LOTS PURPLER! AND THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON ATOP THE FACTORY! LOOKS LIKE A COUPLE OF GUYS PLAYING "KEEP AWAY" WITH SOME KIND OF BOX! DO WE HAVE ANY SPY SCABS WHO WILL GO UP AND SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING, THEN COME BACK AND TELL US? NO? Dangit, why do they always expect us bosses to do the dirty, dangerous work. OK, you folks keep performing. BRB. |
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09-05-2008, 03:24 PM
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#27 |
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Grand Sorcerer
Posts: 8,478
Karma: 5171130
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Okay, calm down, calm down! First of all... I've already met your brother... and, uh, he didn't tell me that he had such a hawt sister--
Back off, nose! Hey, that's my line! uh... Look, why do you want to blow everything up? Because it's the only way to show the world that they can't continue to walk all over us electrons. I know the public won't just accept our demands and pay what we're worth. We have to make them suffer for their sins... to know what it's like to be forced to do without us! You're going to hurt a lot of innocent electrons... and all for nothing. What do you mean? Don't you see? If you do this, it will only strengthen the public's resolve to do away with electrons, and use photons instead. Hah! They couldn't do that! Hey, if they think photons will give them less trouble... But photons are weak! Maybe... but a photon never caused an EMP. And speaking of which: Setting off that bomb will only serve to tear an irreparable hole in the space-time continuum, allowing loose bosons and leptons to flood the area. Bosons and leptons? They're too insubstantial to do any harm! That's what they used to say about electrons... isn't it? ... Come on. You don't want to hurt anyone with that. Why don't you let me have that switch. S-stay back... It's okay. No one needs to get hurt, here. No... no... It's all right. I know you're substantial. I want to make sure your story gets out. And then, maybe... we could find a nice, quiet place to discuss the revolution together... you could be on my blog. Really? Sure, sure. I've had nothing but stupid subjects like iPhone clones and anti-windfarm petitions to write about lately. You seem so much more intelligent than the other girls I meet. I'd just love to find out... what you think... Oh... that's so sweet! Well... okay, here. (Whew!) Thanks, Tritt. Don't worry, it's all gonna work out fine. Yes, it will, foul villian, now that I'm here! What the... Kent? What are you doing here... dressed in that weird red and blue costume and cape? Kent? Kent who? Never heard of him! But surely you've heard of... Superstring! Oh, knock it off, Kent! That outfit looks so gay on you... I know you are, but what am I? So... thought you'd fool me with that insipid reporter routine, eh? Well, you have to get up early in the morning to outwit Superstring! I'll just take that... Hey, careful-- Give it up, loser-- Look out!-- Bsizt-poof! ... Whuthehey?!? Hmm... good thing my body is impervious to quantum barionic bombardment and lepton excitement... Quantum barionic bombardment and lepton excitement?!? What just happened to me? I'd say you just absorbed a braneload of exotic quantum particles there, son. Good news is, it soaked up all the energy in that bomb. Hey... I'm getting bigger! The bad news is, it's going to make you expand right out of our dimension. What? I'm growing again? But I didn't finish the story! And most importantly... I didn't get to take Tritt out! Wow... he is getting bigger, isn't he? Um... are you seeing anybody? If I were you, I'd try not to move around too much... so you don't crush anything before your atomic coherence expands beyond our capacity to interact with you... Damn you, Kent! I'm losing the story! I'm losing the ability to see you!... Bad guys... they always whine so much when their plans go bad... Oh, kiss my a**, Kent! Tritt... Tritt, before I can't see you... Yes? Can I call you? Maybe we'll do lunch... Last edited by Steven Lyle Jordan; 09-05-2008 at 03:27 PM. |
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09-05-2008, 03:35 PM
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#28 |
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Hi There!
Posts: 7,473
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Union Boss (whispering into one of those little cricket-sounding chirping push-to-talk phones that they use in factories and such): chirp I'm in the stairwell can you hear me? chirp
Fotawn: chirp Yes, we have you. What can you see up there? chirp Union Boss: chirp It's that sticky and sweaty reporter, Qwark Kent, some hippie-looking girl, and Sparky. The hippie is trying to get his box back. chirp Fotawn: chirp What's in the box? chirp UB: chirp How should I know? I'm FM, not xray. But it looks like... chirp UB: What am I doing here? Sorry officer, I thought this was the way to the little boys' room. I must've gotten nudged out of my valence or something. ... yes sir, officer sir ... I'm going right now. UB: chirp (pant pant huff puff) Abort! I'm coming out hot, fission hot, and you need to get everyone away from the picket line before I set of an uncontrolled chain reaction! Run! chirp SPLASH! UB: That's better, thanks for cooling me down. |
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09-05-2008, 03:37 PM
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#29 |
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Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
Posts: 11,726
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Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox
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Dang. Still no llamas.
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09-05-2008, 03:44 PM
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#30 |
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Grand Sorcerer
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And no Higgs boson, either. Double dang. We've been on the lookout for him.
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