Looking for Blurb Feedback - Page 2

ZodWallop · 04-11-2017, 11:01 AM

I do suggest mentioning somewhere that the book is the first in the series. Even if the reading order doesn't matter, people always want to know which book is the first.

theducks · 04-11-2017, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemurion

I agree, you can never have too many gorillas; especially when they're talking gorillas.

I've come up with a revision, let me know what you think:

I was just about to suggest that wording for the first paragraph

I found the original, awkward.

I will leave providing Bananas to Tubemonkey

GrannyGrump · 04-11-2017, 11:47 PM

I'm a reader, not a writer, but I do like the sound of this and want to read this book!

Only one teeny niggle -- and it is probably only my own nitpick --- the phrase
Find out in Against the Eldest Flame!

juxtaposition of “in Against” to me is awkward, almost a stutter. How about something like:

Find out when you read Against the Eldest Flame!

That even adds bonus of involving reader in the action.
(okay, I will go back to my corner now)

Lemurion · 04-13-2017, 05:36 PM

Just a quick status update (along with thanks for all the help). I was planning to release tomorrow, but I was just approached today by a possibly interested publisher so I'm going to see how things shake out.

Cinisajoy · 04-13-2017, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemurion

Just a quick status update (along with thanks for all the help). I was planning to release tomorrow, but I was just approached today by a possibly interested publisher so I'm going to see how things shake out.

Be sure to read the fine print and good luck.

Lemurion · 04-21-2017, 03:44 PM

Things have shaken out, and I'm going for self-publication. It's with Amazon now and I'll update the appropriate thread once everything comes through.

04-11-2017, 11:47 PM	#18
GrannyGrump Obsessively Dedicated... Posts: 3,205 Karma: 34984330 Join Date: May 2011 Location: JAPAN (US expatriate) Device: Sony PRS-T2, ADE on PC	I'm a reader, not a writer, but I do like the sound of this and want to read this book! Only one teeny niggle -- and it is probably only my own nitpick --- the phrase Find out in Against the Eldest Flame! juxtaposition of “in Against” to me is awkward, almost a stutter. How about something like: Find out when you read Against the Eldest Flame! That even adds bonus of involving reader in the action. (okay, I will go back to my corner now) Last edited by GrannyGrump; 04-11-2017 at 11:49 PM.

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04-11-2017, 11:01 AM	#16
ZodWallop Gentleman and scholar Posts: 11,469 Karma: 111111111 Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Space City, Texas Device: Clara BW; Nook ST w/Glowlight, Paperwhite 3	I do suggest mentioning somewhere that the book is the first in the series. Even if the reading order doesn't matter, people always want to know which book is the first.

04-13-2017, 05:36 PM	#19
Lemurion eReader Posts: 2,750 Karma: 4968470 Join Date: Aug 2007 Device: Note 5; PW3; Nook HD+; ChuWi Hi12; iPad	Just a quick status update (along with thanks for all the help). I was planning to release tomorrow, but I was just approached today by a possibly interested publisher so I'm going to see how things shake out.

04-21-2017, 03:44 PM	#21
Lemurion eReader Posts: 2,750 Karma: 4968470 Join Date: Aug 2007 Device: Note 5; PW3; Nook HD+; ChuWi Hi12; iPad	Things have shaken out, and I'm going for self-publication. It's with Amazon now and I'll update the appropriate thread once everything comes through.

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