Car recognition in American literature - Page 2

DixieGal · 05-12-2008, 04:00 PM

... a table instead of a booth, since the hooker was really fat. Meanwhile, the Delorean/Buick was being towed to a junk yard.

"So the dame was also a hooker, hmmm?" he pondered, "Why did she want to know my name?"...

Taylor514ce · 05-12-2008, 04:45 PM

I hated the Updike book mentioned by the OP, but oh well.

"I need to know your name. Now.", she said in a flat voice devoid of any emphasis. It needed none, really, I reflected, since the gun barrel pressed into my scrotum was perfectly emphatic.

"Adrian, err, Bruce."

"Which is it, cupcake, Adrian or Bruce?"

"Why do you need to know my name? What does it matter?" I managed to say, one part of my brain pleased my voice didn't squeek in fright.

"Because if you're Adrian, then we can have a little chat. If it's Bruce, I'm blowing your nuts to squirrel heaven."

"Adrian. Definitely Adrian. Sir Adrian Rappaport, in fact. Yes, that's me."

The thing is, I've always been, well, attached, to my nuts, just to state the obvious.

She smiled that gap-toothed smile I would come to know just a bit too well, and replaced the gun barrel with the no less disturbing pressure of a hand as red, large and coarse as an Alaskan King Crab.

"That's better. We've been expecting you, your Majesty".

vivaldirules · 05-12-2008, 04:51 PM

..."Your Majesty?", I asked.

"Yep, seems we had an infestation of puddle ducks some time ago in these parts but that was all cleared up. Thanks, in part, to you. Or so I hear, Adrian. Er, your Majesty."...

DixieGal · 05-12-2008, 05:04 PM

..... "What!", I snapped snippishly...

vivaldirules · 05-12-2008, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DixieGal

..... "What!", I snapped snippishly...

[Good interjection, DG. Very...snappy!]

Taylor514ce · 05-12-2008, 05:11 PM

C'mon folks... advance the story. We're all literate beings, we can do better.

vivaldirules · 05-12-2008, 05:14 PM

"C'mon folks... advance the story. We're all literate beings, we can do better", exclaimed Adrian, as he climbed back into.....[No, no. Scratch that. Go back five posts and start again. Please!]

DixieGal · 05-12-2008, 05:20 PM

... "I wondered what caused you to crash your BuiLorean? You are the world's greatest NARCAS (note the not use of a trademark?), and have never crashed before?" she asked sheepishly, cowering from my snippishly snapping at her.

"I am?" slipped out before I could think to bite my tongue and think about what sort of world I had gotten myself into.

Leaving the coffee shop, I located the nearest trash can and found a newspaper, because the coins in my pocket from my world did not work here. Crappy jalopy transformed, but hard currency apparently did not.

Turning to the sports section, I used my sleeve cuff and hand flesh to wipe away the moist garbage that clung to the newsprint. There before my eyes was the headline: NARCAS King Conquers Another Race Course.

"I'm going to have to learn to use the brakes," I told myself.

Luckily, the sports section listed my address, so I hailed a cab and was whisked away home. But what's this? The door is ajar....

pshrynk · 05-12-2008, 05:23 PM

"A door is a jar?" I thought, "A door may be a port and a jar may hold a port, but a door beign a jar is not a part of reality as I know it." Then I remembered the bit about the transforming DeLaurean and went up to the door. Inside stood a squirrel...

DixieGal · 05-12-2008, 05:32 PM

... of massively minuscule proportions, a regular rodent of no special size or color. Grabbing a handy broom, I made as though to sweep, all the while stealing closer and closer to the varmint. Then WHACK! I missed. WHACK WHACK WHACK! I kept whacking the varmint inside my private privacy, but it never became a pile of goo.

"I need a depressed robot who has experience with squirrel extermination to terminate my squirrel," I thought, reaching for the yellow pages and the listings of exterminators therein.

Alas, no reputable or reliable robot was read therin to rescue me from the rascally rodent. (How'd ya like them alliterations?)

So I fashioned a trap reminiscent of the old 21st century e-book covers made of cardboard and Velcro, then set it up in my private privacy. A tiny bell was affixed in order to alert me of when the trap was triggered.

Dingaling....

pshrynk · 05-12-2008, 06:03 PM

"Hello?"

Hey there! Glad to get to know ya! Would you be interested in buying a life time ultra insurance policy?

"What are you doing calling me on my cell phone?"

Just $499.95 a month gets you compound interest and a nice little nest egg for retirement!

"Go away. Snopes.com says you're an urban legend."

Urk!

I glanced over at the squirrel. He was holding a tiny little phone.

"Malicious little bugger! Wait till I...

pilotbob · 05-12-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

"Malicious little bugger! Wait till I...

...My eyes fluttered open. I realalized I had drifted off to sleep. Wow, what was in the meat loaf sandwich? It certainly gave me weird dreams. Also, my story changed from third person to first person.

Realizing that the the 58 olive green, but really blue buick and $.25 per gallon gasoline was a dream I paid the clerk the $85 for my gas and drove away.

Taylor514ce · 05-12-2008, 06:14 PM

THE END

pilotbob · 05-12-2008, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

THE END

That's a '56 buick your driving... jeezz!

BOb

vivaldirules · 05-12-2008, 07:11 PM

Now wait...now listen...now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. Can't you understand what's happening here? Don't you see what's happening? Now, we can get through this thing all right. We've got to stick together, though. We've got to have faith in each other. [Sheesh. Is this what movie directors have to put up with all day?]

05-12-2008, 04:00 PM	#16
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	... a table instead of a booth, since the hooker was really fat. Meanwhile, the Delorean/Buick was being towed to a junk yard. "So the dame was also a hooker, hmmm?" he pondered, "Why did she want to know my name?"... Last edited by DixieGal; 05-12-2008 at 04:01 PM. Reason: Who's got the next part? Anybody?

05-12-2008, 04:45 PM	#17
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	I hated the Updike book mentioned by the OP, but oh well. "I need to know your name. Now.", she said in a flat voice devoid of any emphasis. It needed none, really, I reflected, since the gun barrel pressed into my scrotum was perfectly emphatic. "Adrian, err, Bruce." "Which is it, cupcake, Adrian or Bruce?" "Why do you need to know my name? What does it matter?" I managed to say, one part of my brain pleased my voice didn't squeek in fright. "Because if you're Adrian, then we can have a little chat. If it's Bruce, I'm blowing your nuts to squirrel heaven." "Adrian. Definitely Adrian. Sir Adrian Rappaport, in fact. Yes, that's me." The thing is, I've always been, well, attached, to my nuts, just to state the obvious. She smiled that gap-toothed smile I would come to know just a bit too well, and replaced the gun barrel with the no less disturbing pressure of a hand as red, large and coarse as an Alaskan King Crab. "That's better. We've been expecting you, your Majesty". Last edited by Taylor514ce; 05-12-2008 at 06:13 PM.

05-12-2008, 04:51 PM	#18
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	..."Your Majesty?", I asked. "Yep, seems we had an infestation of puddle ducks some time ago in these parts but that was all cleared up. Thanks, in part, to you. Or so I hear, Adrian. Er, your Majesty."... Last edited by vivaldirules; 05-12-2008 at 05:11 PM. Reason: "Yes! Oh, yes! A venue for such, like, good words and stuff."

05-12-2008, 05:04 PM	#19
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	..... "What!", I snapped snippishly... Last edited by DixieGal; 05-12-2008 at 05:08 PM. Reason: Because I said so, that's why!

05-12-2008, 05:32 PM	#25
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	... of massively minuscule proportions, a regular rodent of no special size or color. Grabbing a handy broom, I made as though to sweep, all the while stealing closer and closer to the varmint. Then WHACK! I missed. WHACK WHACK WHACK! I kept whacking the varmint inside my private privacy, but it never became a pile of goo. "I need a depressed robot who has experience with squirrel extermination to terminate my squirrel," I thought, reaching for the yellow pages and the listings of exterminators therein. Alas, no reputable or reliable robot was read therin to rescue me from the rascally rodent. (How'd ya like them alliterations?) So I fashioned a trap reminiscent of the old 21st century e-book covers made of cardboard and Velcro, then set it up in my private privacy. A tiny bell was affixed in order to alert me of when the trap was triggered. Dingaling.... Last edited by DixieGal; 05-12-2008 at 05:34 PM. Reason: Somebody answer the bell

05-12-2008, 05:11 PM	#21
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	C'mon folks... advance the story. We're all literate beings, we can do better.

05-12-2008, 05:14 PM	#22
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	"C'mon folks... advance the story. We're all literate beings, we can do better", exclaimed Adrian, as he climbed back into.....[No, no. Scratch that. Go back five posts and start again. Please!]

05-12-2008, 05:20 PM	#23
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	... "I wondered what caused you to crash your BuiLorean? You are the world's greatest NARCAS (note the not use of a trademark?), and have never crashed before?" she asked sheepishly, cowering from my snippishly snapping at her. "I am?" slipped out before I could think to bite my tongue and think about what sort of world I had gotten myself into. Leaving the coffee shop, I located the nearest trash can and found a newspaper, because the coins in my pocket from my world did not work here. Crappy jalopy transformed, but hard currency apparently did not. Turning to the sports section, I used my sleeve cuff and hand flesh to wipe away the moist garbage that clung to the newsprint. There before my eyes was the headline: NARCAS King Conquers Another Race Course. "I'm going to have to learn to use the brakes," I told myself. Luckily, the sports section listed my address, so I hailed a cab and was whisked away home. But what's this? The door is ajar....

05-12-2008, 05:23 PM	#24
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	"A door is a jar?" I thought, "A door may be a port and a jar may hold a port, but a door beign a jar is not a part of reality as I know it." Then I remembered the bit about the transforming DeLaurean and went up to the door. Inside stood a squirrel...

05-12-2008, 06:03 PM	#26
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	"Hello?" Hey there! Glad to get to know ya! Would you be interested in buying a life time ultra insurance policy? "What are you doing calling me on my cell phone?" Just $499.95 a month gets you compound interest and a nice little nest egg for retirement! "Go away. Snopes.com says you're an urban legend." Urk! I glanced over at the squirrel. He was holding a tiny little phone. "Malicious little bugger! Wait till I...

05-12-2008, 06:14 PM	#28
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	THE END

05-12-2008, 07:11 PM	#30
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	Now wait...now listen...now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. Can't you understand what's happening here? Don't you see what's happening? Now, we can get through this thing all right. We've got to stick together, though. We've got to have faith in each other. [Sheesh. Is this what movie directors have to put up with all day?]

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