The Vent and Rant Thread

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

I hope you feel better soon, Blossom!

Thanks. It comes and goes. Last night I could barely keep my head up. Ibuprofen does nothing to the fever. I'm off to nap.

Sent from my XT1528

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Maybe this shouldn't be a rant. Maybe it should. I don't know yet. I'll try to make a long story as short as possible.

I've met a girl some time ago. Damn. I had decided it would never happen again. My last two experiences with women left me soured to the point of becoming *very* particular with regard to women I interact with. I've refrained from dating for almost 8 years.

This girl does seems to be a good match though. She looks good, well groomed, but really plain. Almost no frills. That's good. Speaks her mind to the point of possibly being called blunt, introverted, and she seems to have no use for small talk (or a three month flirting session). That's better. Simplicity for the win. In short, I like her.

We got to chatting, discussing activities and restaurants, and I asked her out. She accepted the invitation. So far, so good.

(Snip a too long part.)

Leave it to me to select a restaurant that has been sold and changed into quite a... high-end place, shall we say. (Something which I *didn't* know.) Think formal clothing, and €250 for dinner for two.

**** ****. I wanted this to be a date, not a setup for a marriage proposal

The only chance I've got is to tell her it's now Italian (which we didn't discuss), and hope she doesn't want to go there. I wonder how I'm going to fix this, because I feel such a restaurant is a bit over the top.

She's a no-frills, introvert, plain speaking person. Just tell her the truth. "The restaurant has changed since I was last there. It's now a homongously expensive, really fancy place. Where else would you like to try?" Or, "Let's try this one instead."

Us introverted, plain speaking types probably don't even LIKE really fancy-schmancy restaurants.

Just tell her.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Thanks. You feel better too. I have no idea what it is... Strep is going around so several I've talked to think it's that.

I can't find where it leaking but it's got to be the hose. It's over ten years old.

Sent from my XT1528

Trust me...if it's Strep, you'll bloody well know it. I know that scads of people think "strep" when they have a sore throat, but Strep isn't like ANY OTHER sore throat you've ever had.

I think you can most likely rule out strep, unless your throat hurts like...like someone put a fiery torch down your throat. If anything at all works, anything, to make it feel better, it ain't strep.

Spoiler:

I think that your husband should clean up his own damn messes. I don't care how bloody cranky he is, BEFORE he eats, what happens after he feeds himself? You put him back in stasis? His off button pops? Once he's eaten, he's as capable of CLEANING up after himself as anyone else. ESPECIALLY because you are SICK. I can't believe that he thinks it's okay for you to be stuck shampooing the carpet and cleaning the walls, after HIS mess, while YOU are sick. I'd be throwing those damn plates at his head.

I really do hope you feel better soon.

Hitch

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

She's a no-frills, introvert, plain speaking person. Just tell her the truth. "The restaurant has changed since I was last there. It's now a homongously expensive, really fancy place. Where else would you like to try?" Or, "Let's try this one instead."

Us introverted, plain speaking types probably don't even LIKE really fancy-schmancy restaurants.

Just tell her.

THIS.

[issybird]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

She's a no-frills, introvert, plain speaking person. Just tell her the truth. "The restaurant has changed since I was last there. It's now a homongously expensive, really fancy place. Where else would you like to try?" Or, "Let's try this one instead."

Us introverted, plain speaking types probably don't even LIKE really fancy-schmancy restaurants.

Just tell her.

Absolutely.

Moreover, put yourself in her position. An overly fancy and expensive restaurant for a first date puts too much pressure on her, too. And you're risking sending the wrong message about your own expectations.

It happens. Easily explained and you'll be past it in minutes.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by issybird

Absolutely.

Moreover, put yourself in her position. An overly fancy and expensive restaurant for a first date puts too much pressure on her, too. And you're risking sending the wrong message about your own expectations.

...

And you risk sending the wrong message about your own general standard of living. ("This dump? Oh, I'm slumming when I go to this restaurant.") Talk to the lady, or the whole relationship will never stand a chance!

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

She's a no-frills, introvert, plain speaking person. Just tell her the truth. "The restaurant has changed since I was last there. It's now a homongously expensive, really fancy place. Where else would you like to try?" Or, "Let's try this one instead."

Us introverted, plain speaking types probably don't even LIKE really fancy-schmancy restaurants.

Just tell her.

I decided as much and see where we end up eating That's why I removed the rant.

Originally Posted by issybird

Absolutely.

Moreover, put yourself in her position. An overly fancy and expensive restaurant for a first date puts too much pressure on her, too. And you're risking sending the wrong message about your own expectations.

It happens. Easily explained and you'll be past it in minutes.

Definitely. My expectations are to have some fun, not try to fit in among people who probably earn like ten times my salary.

My dad, who lives near the place, told me it wouldn't be a good idea to go there. He passes the restaurant when going out for groceries. He says the parking is always full of big Mercedes's, BWM's, huge Volvo's, and the occasional sports car.

Eh... no. I can handle quite some stuff from McDonald's up to a fairly expensive venue, but this is out of my league and intentions. (Not even financially necessarily, but more with regard to atmosphere and ambiance.)

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

And you risk sending the wrong message about your own general standard of living. ("This dump? Oh, I'm slumming when I go to this restaurant.") Talk to the lady, or the whole relationship will never stand a chance!

True; as said above, I decided to do so.

To be honest, I just feel like a dumb ***** for suggesting that restaurant before first checking it. But what can you do? I'm not going to check restaurant prices in the middle of a conversation

(Another plus point. She doesn't seem to be married to her phone. Yay!)

[badgoodDeb]

Good! Glad you got over that problem so easily.

[Hitch]

Kats:

Good. I think that was a good call, and in all likelihood, she'll thank you for it. No matter how plain-spoken, her introvert brain is probably freaking out about how fancy the place is now. I mean, after all, she's still a woman, and is staring at her closet. What if she had nothing there that would do? Hell with the dinner, just imagine what she might have to spend to get a suitable outfit.

Trust me...you'll be doing her a favor and a small mercy, and probably letting her off the hook by doing something sane.

FWIW.

Hitch

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Good. I think that was a good call, and in all likelihood, she'll thank you for it. No matter how plain-spoken, her introvert brain is probably freaking out about how fancy the place is now.

Well, I said I'd look into things and so I did; and came to the conclusion that my suggestion wasn't a good one. Shit happens

She doesn't know the restaurant, except if she's looked it up on the web. If she has, she probably came to the same conclusion already: "Eh... no." Or more likely: "This must be some mistake." I'll hear when I call her tomorrow. I've got some more suitable stuff on offer

[Freeshadow]

@Katsunami: What our fellow introverts said, plus the "not to be under-/overdressed" thing.
You might want to read that: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...loser-together

Could mail you the whole study, but these are the toolbox out of it.

[Katsunami]

Well... I don't really do "How to date" websites. I've dated before I only freaked out somewhat because of inadvertently choosing the most expensive restaurant in 30 mile radius

And those 38 questions... "Do you have a secret hunch on how you will die?" I don't feel like asking things like that

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Trust me...if it's Strep, you'll bloody well know it. I know that scads of people think "strep" when they have a sore throat, but Strep isn't like ANY OTHER sore throat you've ever had.

I think you can most likely rule out strep, unless your throat hurts like...like someone put a fiery torch down your throat. If anything at all works, anything, to make it feel better, it ain't strep.

Spoiler:

I think that your husband should clean up his own damn messes. I don't care how bloody cranky he is, BEFORE he eats, what happens after he feeds himself? You put him back in stasis? His off button pops? Once he's eaten, he's as capable of CLEANING up after himself as anyone else. ESPECIALLY because you are SICK. I can't believe that he thinks it's okay for you to be stuck shampooing the carpet and cleaning the walls, after HIS mess, while YOU are sick. I'd be throwing those damn plates at his head.

I really do hope you feel better soon.

Hitch

I've had it several times before. I never get the sore throat. You can have strep and even not have a symptom. You see the bacteria that causes it is the same that causes Scarlet Fever. I had it several times as a child. A milder version of SF called Scarletina with no high fever or rash.

My Pediatrician explain to me at 8 it was because I'm not allergic to the toxin I don't get the bad symptoms. He gave me the pink stuff and I was good in a week. That would happen four times till I turn 12 then I started getting strep which he told me is the same thing but it's in your throat. I'd would get it in my teens several times. I can only remember once I got the severe sore throat. I was 18. I moved out of the hell hole at 21 to a much healthier life. It's the region HITCH. I haven't had to deal with this crap for over 15 years.

I've started Airborne. It's the best I can do with no health insurance.

My throat is scratchy and I sound husky. I am running a fever and very tired. My head hurts and Motrin does nothing for the fever.

As for hubby. It all depends what mood he is in. He can be very helpful or he can be spiteful. I also suspect like his parent he is bipolar. I've been trying to get him help but he is in denial.

Sent from my XT1528

[Hitch]

Hi, Blossom:

Wow. I've never had strep without those throat-buster syptoms. I never had it as a kid; my first encounter with it was when a very good female friend of mine, with whom I worked, brought it to the office as a gift. <sarcasm> She had rug rats, so of course, thhey went to school, which is a petri dish of disaster, and I had my first (and last!) case of Strep. I'll be grateful not to ever have it again!

I feel for yal And I suspect you're right about hubby. Maybe someday you'll be lucky enough to have talked him into proper medical attention for it. We have a married-in family member that has it (as does much of his family), and the whole "I don't need no stinking meds" from those who get the manic swings--it's like trying to deal with Coke or Speed addicts.

Good luck, kiddo. And I hope you start to feel better soon.

Hitch

[Freeshadow]

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Well... I don't really do "How to date" websites.

Neither do I. The questions I speak of come from here:
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, A. N., Vallone, R.D., & Bator, R.J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363-377

http://psp.sagepub.com/content/23/4/363.full.pdf+html

A very fitting comment about it.

In the Aron et al. (1997) experiment, pairs of individuals, over the course of 45 minutes, carried out self-disclosure and relationship building tasks that gradually increased in intensity. A common misconception is that the goal was to create a long-lasting relationship between the individuals in the study, but rather it was to create a temporary feeling of closeness.

It saves time giving both the feeling as if they'd know each other for a long time. It doesn't manipulate the final outcome of it. Que sera, sera.