The Vent and Rant Thread

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Hemmi

I much prefer my own company. Well, the cats are always welcome. I go to work and I come home. Rarely go out and socializing is awful. I have to see and talk to people at work all day and, really, I've had enough of other people by the time I get home.

I'm the same. I work in our store and when I'm done I like to have alone time. When I work until 2pm I usually spend most of the afternoon reading and/or napping. At night I usually go to my room around 8pm to watch tv, read or be creative. I really like my alone time at night.

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Dennis I understand when we moved here last year my mom took me to Crackel Barrel the noise level was off the charts! I ate quickly then retreated outside to the car to peace and quiet. Had hubby been there I could have focused on him as he's my buffer. He'll distract me or just rub my shoulder. I didn't have a panic attack as I've learned to remove myself from a situation like that when it occurs. So much noise, so many emotions, so much chaos...I had to get out of there fast.

I don't get panic attacks. I'm simply uncomfortable.

An additional issue is that I can't ignore speech. My mind insists on trying to parse it. My SO wears headphones when she watches TV as a courtesy to me, because I can't simply ignore it when the sound is on.

I had a co-worker years back who drove me nuts. He sat in the cube next to mine, and would put his phone on speaker to carry on hands-free conversations with his friends, so I got to hear both ends of the conversation. My job tended to require peace and quiet, and the ability to concentrate on a problem and think through the best solution. Peace and quiet? What's that?
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Dennis

[Blossom]

My hubby does the same. He wears headphones so I can read. I can't tune out speech either. I'm not very good on multi tasking either.

Sent from my XT1528

[CRussel]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I had a co-worker years back who drove me nuts. He sat in the cube next to mine, and would put his phone on speaker to carry on hands-free conversations with his friends, so I got to hear both ends of the conversation. My job tended to require peace and quiet, and the ability to concentrate on a problem and think through the best solution. Peace and quiet? What's that?

Which is why I wear headphones when I'm in the office. I can, and do, ignore everyone around me. If I'm working on a script or troubleshooting, I tend to listen to jazz, but if I'm writing, I switch to an upbeat mix of pop, rock, and jazz and crank up the volume a bit. Something about Boy George seems to make it actually easier to write. (But I can NOT listen to vocal music when developing a script or trying to troubleshoot something. For that, some West Coast cool jazz is best.)

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Blossom

My hubby does the same. He wears headphones so I can read. I can't tune out speech either. I'm not very good on multi tasking either.

I can multitask well enough if need be. But much of what I do is the sort of thing that requires concentration and focus, and I like to do that and complete the task.

I get amused by folks who think they are good at multitasking. I'm certain that if you actually tracked their activity, you would find it took them longer to complete tasks than if they concentrated on one thing at a time.

Computers are good at multitasking. Humans aren't. When you are doing something and are interrupted, you must "save your place", deal with the interruption, and then go back to where you were before.

In computers, this is known as "stack processing" - when an interrupt is received, the current task is pushed onto the stack, and the interruption is dealt with. Then the previous tasked is popped off the stack. Computers can do that quickly and accurately (though issues may arise if the allocated stack isn't large enough to hold everything that might get pushed onto it.)

But stack processing takes time and imposes overhead. Computers are a lot faster and more accurate. The time required for context switching by humans is far longer, and it's far easier for them to simply lose their place and have to painstakingly backtrack to figure out where they were. There have been studies showing that many programming errors occurred because the developer was trying to keep track of too many things and something important just got lost.

I strongly suspect most folks who like to multi-task aren't anywhere near as good at it as they like to think.
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Dennis

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by CRussel

Which is why I wear headphones when I'm in the office. I can, and do, ignore everyone around me. If I'm working on a script or troubleshooting, I tend to listen to jazz, but if I'm writing, I switch to an upbeat mix of pop, rock, and jazz and crank up the volume a bit. Something about Boy George seems to make it actually easier to write. (But I can NOT listen to vocal music when developing a script or trying to troubleshoot something. For that, some West Coast cool jazz is best.)

I wound up doing that.

I don't have a problem with music as a background, and it can be vocal music, though I prefer instrumentals. My problem with a lot of pop is lyrics that make me cringe over stunning instrumental tracks. (I'm looking at you, Steve Miller. )

The notion of Boy George making it easier to write is a tickle. I liked Culture Club back when, and was just poking around yesterday and discovered they were reunited and touring. They've been an on again/off again phenomenon dues to relationship issues and Boy George's problems with cocaine and heroin. They seem to have their act together these day, so to speak, and are on the road again.
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Dennis

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Blossom

My hubby does the same. He wears headphones so I can read. I can't tune out speech either. I'm not very good on multi tasking either.

Sent from my XT1528

My wife always has the TV on, and my grandson isn't much better. I've become pretty good at ignoring the TV while I read. It always seems to surprise people when they ask about something that was said or done on the TV that's blaring right in front of me while I'm reading, and I tell they I wasn't watching.

[Tarana]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I can multitask well enough if need be. But much of what I do is the sort of thing that requires concentration and focus, and I like to do that and complete the task.

I get amused by folks who think they are good at multitasking. I'm certain that if you actually tracked their activity, you would find it took them longer to complete tasks than if they concentrated on one thing at a time.

Computers are good at multitasking. Humans aren't. When you are doing something and are interrupted, you must "save your place", deal with the interruption, and then go back to where you were before.
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Dennis

Actually, this is exactly why you need multitaskers. Many jobs require that ability - it is not the speed with which things get done but that you can deal with the interruptions and continue on. I can actually see the difference now that I can no longer multitask (brain injury). I simply cannot function with regular interruptions of a single task. In the past, I handled several tasks at once WITH interruptions and got everything done within short order.

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

That.

The thing that drives me nuts is that extraverts don't get that having a problem-solving or other discussion centered around tweaking lifehacks etc. is not the same as their "small talk"...

Smalltalk should be banned. I am unable to talk but say nothing at the same time. "How was your weekend?" Grrrrr... the same as it always is. I go to bed at 3 AM, get up at 11 AM. I read books. I practice on the piano. I do a lot of stuff... *ALONE*, most of the time, which is not interesting to you, and the stuff I *DON'T* do alone, is none of your business.

Re the other idea: you two should at least meet and see what happens
I don't play this game anymore but it 'd be fun to see if you two would fit.

LOL. We might be 30 years apart in age

But you have a point there: many introverts would like to have an introverted boyfriend/girlfriend, both leading their own lives, except when they want to do something together. The point is that introverts often don't meet... for obvious reasons.

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

That's me.
I get asked a lot if I'm not lonely, because I don't have a lot of good friends and prefer to do things on my own. But I'm not. I'm perfectly happy to potter about doing whatever on my own.

Same here. Sometimes, I'd like to have a partner, but the problem is, you can't have a partner for about 25% of the time only. Most people don't want that. And living together? Been there. Done that. Almost murdered the girlfriend... (not really, but so to speak). There are just some days that if I get home, sit down to do something by myself (whatever that may be), you only disturb me at your own peril.

I think the only way for me to have a partner is in a LAT relationship, or it won't work. I think I need too much time alone, especially on workdays.

I loathe small talk. Occasionally I can't get out of going to a birthday party and most of the time I just sit there waiting until enough time has passed for me to make my escape.

Oooh, how I recognize that...

after the first week January it's a good time for me to have a "reading retreat" and recharge my batteries.

Then have it; even book the vacation and don't tell anyone where you're going. Just tell them to only call on your mobile number for emergencies.

Originally Posted by Blossom

I'm a introvert. I rarely leave my home. All my social interaction is through the internet. I find going out and doing things exhausting. I rather stay home and read. I never get lonely. I seldom get cabin fever. My mom thinks this is bad. She begs me to just go for a ride down the street.

Oh, it's the old 'You have to go out and play in the street, with the other kids!" all over again. No, mom. I don't want to. I want to read this 1.271 page long book. And when I'm done... I'll go out. To go and get the two sequels.

Hubby just laughs because he knows me and he hates getting out to if he doesn't have to. We are both introverts so we just do our own thing even when we are together. He plays his Facebook game and I read or look up books. We are a good match together.

Lucky you

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

But then she spends most of the day behind her notebook, surfing the web. I'm expected to get food and drink and prepare dinner. She might join me for a film at night, but when she isn't behind her notebook she spends most of the time looking at her phone.

So basically, your sister is an introvert as well? She'd go on vacation on her own then. Rent a hotel room only for a few days. (I actually did, some time ago.)

I'm going on my own and having a blast just pottering about. Since I know the apartments in the park have a nice, big oven I'm already planning for at least two cookie baking sessions.

Have fun

Some people can't understand how you can have fun being all on your own, but I, and probably all other introverts, understand all too well.

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I can multitask well enough if need be. But much of what I do is the sort of thing that requires concentration and focus, and I like to do that and complete the task.

Then you can surely recognize this situation. As a software engineer, I can. I hate it when it happens, and no-fracking-body understands if they don't have a similar occupation that requires very long stretches of unbroken concentration.

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Then have it; even book the vacation and don't tell anyone where you're going. Just tell them to only call on your mobile number for emergencies.

I've booked. I do have to tell them when I'm going, of course. Not in the least so they can keep it in mind if any dates need to be set for court for The Family Thing. But by now they know better than contacting me too often when I'm away.

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Oh, it's the old 'You have to go out and play in the street, with the other kids!" all over again. No, mom. I don't want to. I want to read this 1.271 page long book. And when I'm done... I'll go out. To go and get the two sequels.

LOL, I guess I was lucky growing up in the city centre where there were very few children of my own age to play with. There wasn't a safe place to go outside and play and at that time there wasn't a playground near where we lived. So I didn't play with other kids often outside of daycare (a couple of times a week) and later school.

Originally Posted by Katsunami

So basically, your sister is an introvert as well? She'd go on vacation on her own then. Rent a hotel room only for a few days. (I actually did, some time ago.)

No, while she's on her notebook she also in almost constant contact with her friends through WhatApp. My sister has never been on vacation on her own and she doesn't want to. But now that her friends all have jobs, partners and some have kids it's impossible to get together again for a vacation, so I'm the one who has to go with her most of the time.

Hopefully now that she's got her own place she'll learn to be a bit more independent when going on vacation, too. At least it will be easier to keep quiet about my plans and she won't be able to invite herself.

Originally Posted by Katsunami

Some people can't understand how you can have fun being all on your own, but I, and probably all other introverts, understand all too well.

That's so true. My sister wasn't born until I was six years old, so I know how to entertain myself and be by myself without getting bored.

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer

But now that her friends all have jobs, partners and some have kids...

That's so true. My sister wasn't born until I was six years old, so I know how to entertain myself and be by myself without getting bored.

Hm... your sister sounds to be a somewhere in her twenties, so...

Maybe Freeshadow is right and we should meet. Maybe it works. Or not.

LOL. I can see it now, at our 50 year marriage festivities:

"They have a very peaceful marriage: not a single fight or disagreement has occurred. Also, they never ever said a single word to one another, except for 'Yes, I do.' Their unique form of communicate entails leaving books on the living room table, with relevant passages underlined."

And everybody there goes:

Then MobileRead goes:

[Freeshadow]

@Katsunami See... I already thought I misjudged your age but it didn't compute as you stated that Guybrush Threepwod (the protagonist of the Monkey Island adventure game series) was "before your time" which means you have to be d10 younger than me and I am 40.

Btw should you two ever decide to meet, tell me in advance, I 'll have a gift for that occasion. (a readable one of course)

[Katsunami]

Originally Posted by Freeshadow

@Katsunami See... I already thought I misjudged your age but it didn't compute as you stated that Guybrush Threepwod (the protagonist of the Monkey Island adventure game series) was "before your time" which means you have to be d10 younger than me and I am 40.

Guybrush Threepwood is from before the time I seriously got into computer games. You're right, I'm 1-10 years younger than you are

Btw should you two ever decide to meet, tell me in advance, I 'll have a gift for that occasion. (a readable one of course)

LOL. You keep at it, don't you?

[Cinisajoy]

On introverts and the internet, if we want to interact we can. If we don't want to interact, we don't have it. In the other world, you have to interact.

Luckily, my mom never made me play with the other kids.
I always thought my best friend was outgoing and she thought the same of me until we were talking about it and realized we NEVER had anyone over from school. It was always just us and neither got offended if the visiting one wanted to go home.