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Old 10-04-2016, 09:55 PM   #28846
Blossom
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Originally Posted by poohbear_nc View Post
Started our hurricane preparation today -- bottled water, food that doesn't need to be cooked, cat litter, cat food ..... sigh ...
Keep us posted! As you know I got elderly in laws in Fayetteville.

Stay Safe!
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:05 AM   #28847
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No, no. It's not a guy thing. Not ONLY.

I'm the same way. I absolutely, positively forbade my family members from visiting me during my last surgery. ABSOLUTELY. It's absurd. NOBODY wants to be visited in the damn hospital.

My spouse had to be there, only because they were doing something and checking something (biopsy on some tissue), and it was quite possible that a decision may have been needed, about, well, something. (I know...).

Otherwise, I would have told him not to come until it was time to pick me up, also. In fact, the moment I was fairly compos mentis (no cracks, guys) in the recovery room, I sent him home. I can't ABIDE family members struggling to find stuff to say, yadda, in a hospital. Plus, I usually want to sleep and just feel drowsy and all that, not trying to stay awake and worrying about whether or not I look like my Banshee sisters will be arriving momentarily.

If you will be making life/death decisions, or deciding if procedure X is to be done "while they're in there," that's one thing. Otherwise, I'm with the "don't come with" group.

Hitch
If he was having this done here, I would wait with him and if he wanted me to go home, I would. Because I live close by and can get there if I am needed. I did that when he had surgery to repair a broken knuckle. I even let him buy greasy Chinese food on the way home even though I knew he would totally throw it up a few hours later. We were dating and he refused to believe me but learned his lesson.

But I am not going to be on the East Coast while he is in Minnesota having surgery and recovering. Not happening. Nope. No way in hell. There is the slim possibility that something goes wrong, miniscule actually, but it is possible. I bring my IPad and headsets. If he wants to talk, I'll talk. If he wants to sleep, I'll entertain myself. And I know that my MIL would like to have someone to go out and get lunch with for a few days.

The game plan when Little Man was born was for Hubby to stay at the hospital until the end of visiting hours and go home and sleep there so he could get in some good nights sleep before the year of sleep deprivation. That plan was ruined by a storm that knocked out all power in the region for four days so he stayed with me and Little Man at night because the hospital had power.

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Started our hurricane preparation today -- bottled water, food that doesn't need to be cooked, cat litter, cat food ..... sigh ...
Yeah, we are cancelling our camping trip this weekend and staying at home.
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:42 AM   #28848
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You can't do that when you have to rely on them...
That sucks... I hope you can remove that dependence in the near future, so you'll have much more leeway to draw your own borders.
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Old 10-05-2016, 12:19 PM   #28849
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What lowlife steals a cheap flip phone from an elderly lady in a wheelchair?!?

Mom had her go phone stolen last night by a guy pretending to help them.

Sent from my XT1528
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Old 10-05-2016, 12:58 PM   #28850
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Originally Posted by ProfCrash View Post
If he was having this done here <snippage>

But I am not going to be on the East Coast while he is in Minnesota having surgery and recovering. Not happening. Nope. No way in hell. There is the slim possibility that something goes wrong, miniscule actually, but it is possible. I bring my IPad and headsets. If he wants to talk, I'll talk. If he wants to sleep, I'll entertain myself. And I know that my MIL would like to have someone to go out and get lunch with for a few days.

<more snippage!>

Yeah, we are cancelling our camping trip this weekend and staying at home.
I was actually responding, primarily, to the "it's a guy thing" bit. :-) I understand why you are going, of course. Plus, you have other upheaval in your life. Completely understandable.

Hitch
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Old 10-05-2016, 01:24 PM   #28851
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Originally Posted by Hitch View Post
I was actually responding, primarily, to the "it's a guy thing" bit. :-) I understand why you are going, of course. Plus, you have other upheaval in your life. Completely understandable.

Hitch
Of course you were. OTOH, I suspect if you did a scientific poll of males v. females on the question, the numbers would bear out my "it's a guy thing". We tend to be "brave and dismissive" when contemplating such things, and hopelessly whimpering when in the middle of reality.

And, further, I'm completely with you about hospital visits -- friends can please stay away, and casual relatives as well. But having a spouse or SO there to actively be an advocate as required is both useful and likely to lead to better outcomes from the surgery.

And I'm very much with ProfCrash when this is all happening in Minnesota. Too far away if there are issues. The likelihood of issues is small, but as someone wrote in a book I read in the last couple of years "It only takes one bear". So go with him and be there, and he'll be able to say after "see, <favourite pet name>, totally silly and unnecessary". To which you can smile and know you did the right thing.

<hugs all round>
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Old 10-05-2016, 03:41 PM   #28852
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....

But I am not going to be on the East Coast ....
Weren't you in Illinois somewhere, at least back when the baby was born? Or am I confusing two people on here, with recentish babies?
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Old 10-05-2016, 05:21 PM   #28853
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I was actually responding, primarily, to the "it's a guy thing" bit. :-) I understand why you are going, of course. Plus, you have other upheaval in your life. Completely understandable.

Hitch
Yeah, I know. Sorry if I didn't clarify that. We normally have a similar routine but not this time because of the distance. He is baffled by that.

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Weren't you in Illinois somewhere, at least back when the baby was born? Or am I confusing two people on here, with recentish babies?
I was born there but I live on the East Coast now.
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:08 PM   #28854
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What lowlife steals a cheap flip phone from an elderly lady in a wheelchair?!?

Mom had her go phone stolen last night by a guy pretending to help them.

Sent from my XT1528
It turns out my Nokia 520 that I got a couple years back will work even though website says it wouldn't. So they have a phone again. It was just collecting dust here so made me happy to give it to them.

Sent from my XT1528
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Old 10-06-2016, 03:10 AM   #28855
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Yeah, I know. Sorry if I didn't clarify that. We normally have a similar routine but not this time because of the distance. He is baffled by that.
Ah, well. Men. Whatcha gonna do?

I really DO understand why you are going. I probably would too. Most likely. Sure, probably...a very firm maybe. :-)

Hitch
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Old 10-06-2016, 08:43 AM   #28856
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Ah, well. Men. Whatcha gonna do?

I really DO understand why you are going. I probably would too. Most likely. Sure, probably...a very firm maybe. :-)

Hitch
I couldn't keep my wife away with a bazooka... Vice versa would be the same actually... Distance is the important factor here. The last time I had surgery almost a year ago I asked my wife not to visit. It was only one night and would be a hassle with the kids. Further more, I would probably still be a bit drowsy.
If something happened, she could be in the hospital in 15-20 minutes anyway. If it was on the other side of the country it would have been a totally different story.
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Old 10-06-2016, 12:28 PM   #28857
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When I'm in hospital I like visitors, especially Susie... Until they keep interrupting me when I trying to compose a post to MobileRead.
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Old 10-06-2016, 05:11 PM   #28858
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Ah, well. Men. Whatcha gonna do?

Hitch
Oy! I resemble that remark.
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Old 10-07-2016, 02:27 AM   #28859
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I couldn't keep my wife away with a bazooka... Vice versa would be the same actually... Distance is the important factor here. The last time I had surgery almost a year ago I asked my wife not to visit. It was only one night and would be a hassle with the kids. Further more, I would probably still be a bit drowsy.
If something happened, she could be in the hospital in 15-20 minutes anyway. If it was on the other side of the country it would have been a totally different story.
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Oy! I resemble that remark.
I do think that a distance factor involved clearly changes the dynamic. If Mr. Hitch were going cross-country for some procedure, of course I'd go. OTOH, unless there was some expectation that I'd need a decision-maker, for some procedure I was having, at that same locale, I truly would rather be alone. Just...how I'm made, I guess. That does not mean, btw, that Mr. Hitch would obey that stricture. {shrug}.

Hope all goes well, Prof!

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Old 10-07-2016, 03:38 AM   #28860
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I'm somewhat annoyed with my mother.

This weekend I want to book a week away to my favourite vacation park for Januari. To relax after the busy months in the store and the holiday time when I have to be social (which is exhausting to me as an introvert).

I had already decided to splurge a bit this time and book the more expensive luxury apartment for two people. However, now my mother is trying to talk me into getting an apartment with two bedrooms, so that my sister can join me. My sister just bought her own apartment this week, which needs a new kitchen. She had already told us that buying her apartment meant that she would be able to spend less on her vacations. So now my mother wants me to take her with me and pay for everything.

I'm not going to do it. First of all, in the past three years I paid for three vacations to a holiday park for us both, my sister only had to share the cost of food and drink. Second, after a very busy and social three months I need some alone time to recharge my batteries. Third, my sister always wants to do things, have a plan for each day, all day. I just want to be able to do whatever I want, which is usually to read, watch films, nap, go to the supermarket on the park every morning for fresh bread rolls and visit the nearby town maybe once to get things the park supermarket doesn't have.

To be honest I decided not only to splurge on the luxury one bedroom apartment for fun, though I do want to try out the sauna and the washing machine and dryer are very handy. But also to prevent my sister from inviting herself.
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