Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 190

Mortis · 04-19-2011, 05:29 AM

Great joke, laughing out loud for real

thrawn_aj · 04-19-2011, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

A BLOKE sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

Quite the shaggy dog story there

. Reminds me of this Looney tunes cartoon with a talking dog. You seriously have to check that bit out (I've linked to it so it will start playing at time 2:48 - if not, just forward to that point). The punchline (last thing the dog says) always sends me into hysterics.

That whole cartoon is remarkably hilarious

so give it a shot.

nohmi2 · 04-20-2011, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thrawn_aj

That whole cartoon is remarkably hilarious

so give it a shot.

You were right.

Many thanks.

Cheers

BeTePoK · 04-20-2011, 10:13 AM

Nice one

GeoffC · 04-20-2011, 11:41 AM

kennyc · 04-20-2011, 03:18 PM

What he ^ said!

benham · 04-20-2011, 03:46 PM

When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar....and the beer.

A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes."

The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided. "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the students raised her hand and with a puzzled expression, inquired what the beer represented.

The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room...For Beer ...

kennyc · 04-20-2011, 03:53 PM

pilotbob · 04-20-2011, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by benham

A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

You can tell it wasn't a physics class, cause the jar wasn't actually empty when he started either.

BOb

wodin · 04-20-2011, 08:32 PM

Nor was it anywhere near full when he finished.

Mortis · 04-20-2011, 09:38 PM

Come on you lot, you wish you came up with it as much as I do, give credit where credits due

He didn't mention that if your life is full of beer, there's no room for anything else, who am I kidding, I need a beer.

kennyc · 04-20-2011, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortis

Come on you lot, you wish you came up with it as much as I do, give credit where credits due

He didn't mention that if your life is full of beer, there's no room for anything else, who am I kidding, I need a beer.

Wha???? I just woke up....do I smell beer?

Mortis · 04-20-2011, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Wha???? I just woke up....do I smell beer?

Mmm the breakfast of ex-champions, beer on Special-K

benham · 04-20-2011, 10:47 PM

It stands to reason that if, when your life is full, there is always room for beer, that the converse would also be true.

Mortis · 04-21-2011, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by benham

It stands to reason that if, when your life is full, there is always room for beer, that the converse would also be true.

Think I'll just nod, get a beer and pretend I understood that

04-20-2011, 10:13 AM	#2839
BeTePoK Guru Posts: 740 Karma: 12616666 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Republic of Belarus Device: Sony PRS-505	Nice one Attached Thumbnails

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04-19-2011, 05:29 AM	#2836
Mortis Canucklehead in Malaysia Posts: 1,633 Karma: 3127774 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Device: iPhone, Kindle	Great joke, laughing out loud for real

04-20-2011, 11:41 AM	#2840
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW

04-20-2011, 03:18 PM	#2841
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,916 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	What he ^ said!

04-20-2011, 03:46 PM	#2842
benham Guru Posts: 882 Karma: 5565888 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Townsend, WI Device: Palm TX, PRS-505 (BLUE)	When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar....and the beer. A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes." The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided. "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the students raised her hand and with a puzzled expression, inquired what the beer represented. The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room...For Beer ...

04-20-2011, 03:53 PM	#2843
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,916 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire

04-20-2011, 08:32 PM	#2845
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Nor was it anywhere near full when he finished.

04-20-2011, 09:38 PM	#2846
Mortis Canucklehead in Malaysia Posts: 1,633 Karma: 3127774 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Device: iPhone, Kindle	Come on you lot, you wish you came up with it as much as I do, give credit where credits due He didn't mention that if your life is full of beer, there's no room for anything else, who am I kidding, I need a beer.

04-20-2011, 10:47 PM	#2849
benham Guru Posts: 882 Karma: 5565888 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Townsend, WI Device: Palm TX, PRS-505 (BLUE)	It stands to reason that if, when your life is full, there is always room for beer, that the converse would also be true.