Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 173

kennyc · 03-21-2011, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_Wilde

Well, hell, still no new jokes. So here's another I stole.

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

kennyc · 03-21-2011, 12:37 PM

Okay....I used this one on another site last week

Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Bilbo1967 · 03-21-2011, 02:18 PM

Similarly;

Bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a ..................................... beer please".
Bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

kennyc · 03-21-2011, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

Similarly;

Bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a ..................................... beer please".
Bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

I love it!

wannabee · 03-21-2011, 06:14 PM

me too

James_Wilde · 03-21-2011, 06:56 PM

Thank Goodness! Original comment edited away.

kennyc · 03-21-2011, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_Wilde

Thank Goodness! I thought all you Americans had vowed to stop smiling until Ben Bernanke stops trying to print the national debt away!

That's NOT funny!

wannabee · 03-21-2011, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_Wilde

Thank Goodness! I thought all you Americans had vowed to stop smiling until Ben Bernanke stops trying to print the national debt away!

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

That's NOT funny!

That hit a nerve so I googled and found this

Finance jokes
Your Finance jokes joke selection! ... Funnier Frog loan Joke Votes

3.17) - Get a life Votes

3.67) ... Most popular Finance jokes ...
www.jokesaround.com/Finance_jokes/index.html - Cached - Similar

I guess there's just no humour in finance

kennyc · 03-21-2011, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

That hit a nerve so I googled and found this

Finance jokes
Your Finance jokes joke selection! ... Funnier Frog loan Joke Votes

3.17) - Get a life Votes

3.67) ... Most popular Finance jokes ...
www.jokesaround.com/Finance_jokes/index.html - Cached - Similar

I guess there's just no humour in finance

Now THAT'S funny!

BenG · 03-21-2011, 11:54 PM

Q: Why should you always take two Baptists fishing with you?

Spoiler:

James_Wilde · 03-22-2011, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

That's NOT funny!

Sorry, Kenny, perhaps a trifle thoughtless.

kennyc · 03-22-2011, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James_Wilde

Sorry, Kenny, perhaps a trifle thoughtless.

Problem is that it's true!

BenG · 03-22-2011, 12:05 PM

What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Spoiler:

MJK2111 · 03-22-2011, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BenG

What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Spoiler:

That made me chuckle...

orlok · 03-22-2011, 01:47 PM

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into the supermarket with her two in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter sees them, and says, "Good morning and welcome to Wallmart, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, you dickhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!"

(Voted joke of the year 2007, apparently...)

03-21-2011, 06:56 PM	#2586
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	Thank Goodness! Original comment edited away. Last edited by James_Wilde; 03-22-2011 at 02:53 AM.

03-21-2011, 11:54 PM	#2590
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,730 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6	Q: Why should you always take two Baptists fishing with you? Spoiler: A: If you bring only one, he'll drink all your beer.

03-22-2011, 12:05 PM	#2593
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,730 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6	What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Spoiler: Anyone can roast beef.

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03-21-2011, 12:37 PM	#2582
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,918 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Okay....I used this one on another site last week Horse walks into a bar Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

03-21-2011, 02:18 PM	#2583
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	Similarly; Bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a ..................................... beer please". Bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

03-21-2011, 06:14 PM	#2585
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS	me too

03-22-2011, 01:47 PM	#2595
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into the supermarket with her two in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter sees them, and says, "Good morning and welcome to Wallmart, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, you dickhead?" "Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!" (Voted joke of the year 2007, apparently...)