Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 17

Sirtel · 10-02-2023, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

Are we now allowing AI content?

I guess; after all, AI content can be a terrible joke.

DNSB · 10-02-2023, 01:09 PM

Some time ago, in a little village, there was a yearly tradition. The people of the village, who were usually very polite and God-fearing, would, for one day, participate in a competition of curses.

So once a year, everyone gathered in the village square and watch their fellow villagers go one by one on the little dais and try to come up with the most foul and creative curses in as flowing and natural a manner as possible.

This year wasn't going so well, unfortunately. While some people were pretty creative, no one really impressed the village with their profanity. They've heard variations of it all before. It was late in the afternoon, and all the promising talents have already gone up. It came time for lesser talents, and Peter was known to have some good curses on occasion, so he was called up.

They called his name several times, but he wasn't answering. Eventually, after a few minutes, they heard the door to the outhouse slam and Peter ran up the stage, and as he arrived he had already begun a flow of such profanity, such nasty cursing, that everyone took a step back.

He was jumping up and down and saying such things that even ruddy, experienced old men blanched at this incredible tirade of pure verbal pollution. Eventually the flow of curses ebbed. The village people all stared at him, amazed into silence. "Alright," said Peter brightly, "got that darn zipper up, now for the cursing!"

afv011 · 10-03-2023, 09:09 PM

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

DNSB · 10-03-2023, 11:46 PM

A man walks into a bar and announces, "Today I heard a great redneck joke!"

A massive guy stands up off of his seat and says, "Wait a minute there man". Before you go on and tell that joke, I'm Billy Bob. I'm 6 foot 5 and weigh 260 pounds, all muscle and I am a proud redneck. See that fella over there? He is a professional boxer, and he's a redneck too. And the guy behind the bar has a shotgun next to the cash register and he is a proud redneck, too. Now, you really want to tell that joke?"

The man who walked into the bar says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three different times."

ownedbycats · 10-11-2023, 09:27 AM

Why did the pony lose his voice?

He was a little hoarse.

DNSB · 10-11-2023, 01:25 PM

Did you hear about the hurricane that hit New Jersey and inflicted eleven million dollars of improvements?

neil_swann80 · 10-13-2023, 01:19 PM

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married.

DNSB · 10-13-2023, 02:09 PM

Two North Dakotans come into a bar and they buy drinks for everybody in the place. They were celebrating and whooping it up, slapping everybody on the back.

So the bartender says, "What are you whooping it up for? What's the occasion?"

They said, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took us two months!"

The bartender said, "Two months! What's the big deal? It shouldn't take that long to do a jigsaw puzzle!"

"Oh yeah?" says one of the North Dakotans. "On the box it said 2 to 4 years!"

DNSB · 10-20-2023, 04:51 PM

Bookseller—Here is a book you can’t afford to be without.
Customer—I never read books.
Bookseller—Buy it for your children.
Customer—I have no family—only a cat.
Bookseller—Well, don’t you need a good heavy book to throw at the cat, sometimes?

afv011 · 10-22-2023, 01:14 PM

The inventor of the hammer totally nailed it.

DNSB · 10-23-2023, 03:30 PM

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?", inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

afv011 · 10-24-2023, 12:18 AM

Five ants rented an apartment with another five ants.

Now they're tenants.

DNSB · 10-24-2023, 02:47 PM

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.

His wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

DNSB · 10-26-2023, 12:43 PM

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Graaaainnnes!

Freeshadow · 10-27-2023, 11:36 PM

How is the name of the girl the most songs are written about?

Spoiler:

10-27-2023, 11:36 PM	#255
Freeshadow temp. out of service Posts: 2,815 Karma: 24285242 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Duisburg (DE) Device: PB 623	How is the name of the girl the most songs are written about? Spoiler: Annie More

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10-02-2023, 01:09 PM	#242
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Some time ago, in a little village, there was a yearly tradition. The people of the village, who were usually very polite and God-fearing, would, for one day, participate in a competition of curses. So once a year, everyone gathered in the village square and watch their fellow villagers go one by one on the little dais and try to come up with the most foul and creative curses in as flowing and natural a manner as possible. This year wasn't going so well, unfortunately. While some people were pretty creative, no one really impressed the village with their profanity. They've heard variations of it all before. It was late in the afternoon, and all the promising talents have already gone up. It came time for lesser talents, and Peter was known to have some good curses on occasion, so he was called up. They called his name several times, but he wasn't answering. Eventually, after a few minutes, they heard the door to the outhouse slam and Peter ran up the stage, and as he arrived he had already begun a flow of such profanity, such nasty cursing, that everyone took a step back. He was jumping up and down and saying such things that even ruddy, experienced old men blanched at this incredible tirade of pure verbal pollution. Eventually the flow of curses ebbed. The village people all stared at him, amazed into silence. "Alright," said Peter brightly, "got that darn zipper up, now for the cursing!"

10-03-2023, 09:09 PM	#243
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,965 Karma: 2079999999 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

10-03-2023, 11:46 PM	#244
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A man walks into a bar and announces, "Today I heard a great redneck joke!" A massive guy stands up off of his seat and says, "Wait a minute there man". Before you go on and tell that joke, I'm Billy Bob. I'm 6 foot 5 and weigh 260 pounds, all muscle and I am a proud redneck. See that fella over there? He is a professional boxer, and he's a redneck too. And the guy behind the bar has a shotgun next to the cash register and he is a proud redneck, too. Now, you really want to tell that joke?" The man who walked into the bar says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three different times."

10-11-2023, 09:27 AM	#245
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,998 Karma: 75337983 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Why did the pony lose his voice? He was a little hoarse.

10-11-2023, 01:25 PM	#246
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear about the hurricane that hit New Jersey and inflicted eleven million dollars of improvements?

10-13-2023, 01:19 PM	#247
neil_swann80 0000000000101010 Posts: 5,891 Karma: 12981955 Join Date: Mar 2023 Location: An island off the coast of Ireland Device: PB632 [HD3]	Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married.

10-13-2023, 02:09 PM	#248
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Two North Dakotans come into a bar and they buy drinks for everybody in the place. They were celebrating and whooping it up, slapping everybody on the back. So the bartender says, "What are you whooping it up for? What's the occasion?" They said, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took us two months!" The bartender said, "Two months! What's the big deal? It shouldn't take that long to do a jigsaw puzzle!" "Oh yeah?" says one of the North Dakotans. "On the box it said 2 to 4 years!"

10-20-2023, 04:51 PM	#249
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Bookseller—Here is a book you can’t afford to be without. Customer—I never read books. Bookseller—Buy it for your children. Customer—I have no family—only a cat. Bookseller—Well, don’t you need a good heavy book to throw at the cat, sometimes?

10-22-2023, 01:14 PM	#250
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,965 Karma: 2079999999 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	The inventor of the hammer totally nailed it.

10-23-2023, 03:30 PM	#251
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?", inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

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10-24-2023, 12:18 AM	#252
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,965 Karma: 2079999999 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	Five ants rented an apartment with another five ants. Now they're tenants.

10-24-2023, 02:47 PM	#253
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

10-26-2023, 12:43 PM	#254
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,338 Karma: 169098492 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaainnnes!