Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[LCF]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Here's an old one, like me.

Did you hear about the fellow at the pickle factory who was fired for "dipping his wick" in the pickle slicer?

Spoiler:

They fired her, too!

I suspect KMP in being totally made up. There is just no way a site with so few jokes to be so messed up. Either that, or they reject 90% of what is being sent to them. There are also similar grammatical mistakes in different posts...

[thrawn_aj]

Originally Posted by LCF

I suspect KMP in being totally made up. There is just no way a site with so few jokes to be so messed up. Either that, or they reject 90% of what is being sent to them. There are also similar grammatical mistakes in different posts...

Next you'll say that the Penthouse Forum stories are all made up .

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by thrawn_aj

Next you'll say that the Penthouse Forum stories are all made up .

I knew a guy who did copy editing for the Forum. That stuff appeared in the days before DTP when a typesetter took the manuscript and rekeyed it to produce the typeset galleys from which the plates were made to print the magazines.

He said typesetters were trained to hook the fingers directly to the eyes and disconnect the brain. They didn't actually read what they were working on. He could tell when one of the "letters" actually got a typesetter's attention and they started to read what they were setting. Typographical errors soared.

I just assumed that was a side-effect of trying to typeset one-handed...
______
Dennis

[thrawn_aj]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I knew a guy who did copy editing for the Forum. That stuff appeared in the days before DTP when a typesetter took the manuscript and rekeyed it to produce the typeset galleys from which the plates were made to print the magazines.

He said typesetters were trained to hook the fingers directly to the eyes and disconnect the brain. They didn't actually read what they were working on. He could tell when one of the "letters" actually got a typesetter's attention and they started to read what they were setting. Typographical errors soared.

I just assumed that was a side-effect of trying to typeset one-handed...
______
Dennis

I would imagine getting ink in the ... ah ... wrong places would be a concern .

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by thrawn_aj

I would imagine getting ink in the ... ah ... wrong places would be a concern .

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Cue Victorian porn usage: "Ohhh! Har! Ink!"
"Crap! Just spent all over the galleys! Gotta reset!"
______
Dennis

[BeTePoK]

Originally Posted by LCF

I suspect KMP in being totally made up. There is just no way a site with so few jokes to be so messed up. Either that, or they reject 90% of what is being sent to them. There are also similar grammatical mistakes in different posts...

Hmmm...never thought about that. However, I sent them few stories, and they were posted. I won't tell you which ones, because it will ruin my reputation here

Add: what does that mean: 'messed up' ?

[LCF]

I mean:
There is a small website. Which leads to the conclusion, that there are not too many visitors. And part of them posts. And some of the posts are really hard to believe. Like the guy making breakfast for his girlfriend and the other guy who was with her just a few minutes ago.
For me it's really strange, that this person had this experience + wanted to share it + knew about KMP + decided to go there and post it.
Either he's lying, or some site admin made it up. These two are more probable for me than the above.

I don't argue there are some people who actually send stuff, but I think they are not alone.

[BeTePoK]

Originally Posted by LCF

I mean:
There is a small website. Which leads to the conclusion, that there are not too many visitors. And part of them posts. And some of the posts are really hard to believe. Like the guy making breakfast for his girlfriend and the other guy who was with her just a few minutes ago.
For me it's really strange, that this person had this experience + wanted to share it + knew about KMP + decided to go there and post it.
Either he's lying, or some site admin made it up. These two are more probable for me than the above.

I don't argue there are some people who actually send stuff, but I think they are not alone.

Thanks for explanation. I know that this is very common practice for new websites to lure unique visitors. No one would post on almost "empty" website, knowing that no one would read their stuff The best way to do this is to keep adding fake stories, so the real visitors will think there are many losers and share their own stories

Don't know if this true or not, but I posted few stories here and even got few "Kill 'em" marks Personally I like this website (well, more I like the idea of this website) and just enjoy reading

P.S. This thread is for jokes, so to avoid off-topic, here is one more:

Today, I played baseball in our living room and accidentally broke our 40-inch Plasma TV. My parents bought it 2 days earlier. They are coming back in 30 minutes. KMP.

[LCF]

Today, I played baseball in our living room and accidentally broke our 40-inch Plasma TV. My parents bought it 2 days earlier. They are coming back in 30 minutes. KMP.

I have a friend who really did this with his plasma... and a Nintendo Wii controller not strapped to his hand while playing Bowling

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by LCF

I suspect KMP in being totally made up. There is just no way a site with so few jokes to be so messed up. Either that, or they reject 90% of what is being sent to them. There are also similar grammatical mistakes in different posts...

OK, I'll bite. What's a KMP?

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

OK, I'll bite. What's a KMP?

"Kill me, please!"
______
Dennis

[WT Sharpe]

I thought it was Keep Me Posted.

[BeTePoK]

http://kmplease.com/other/1092

Poor Dad...

[thrawn_aj]

A related (and more believable) site is the notorious FML. Because misery not only loves company, it actively seeks it out .

[BeTePoK]

Thanks!