Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 163

BeTePoK · 02-12-2011, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Today, I put my chinchilla on the fan so it could role in the dust, I accidentally turned the fan on. KMP.

(c) kmplease.com

kennyc · 02-12-2011, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SneakySnake

What she said.

kennyc · 02-12-2011, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

Jack said to Mick "Hey! when kissing your missus mate, close the curtains. The whole street was laughing at you last night."
Mick says to Jack "Well the jokes on them. I wasn't home last night!"

BeTePoK · 02-12-2011, 03:37 PM

People are awesome!

Quote:

Yesterday I found out that my boyfirend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and i would never talk to her again, but accidently sent it to my other best friend. She responded, “im so sorry i never meant for you to find out”. My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. KMP.

BeTePoK · 02-14-2011, 07:22 AM

http://kmplease.com/other/609

I couldn't resist

kennyc · 02-14-2011, 07:54 AM

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years
earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate
their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

.
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2007
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Bloody hot down here !!!

BeTePoK · 02-14-2011, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter...

Oh my!

Format C: · 02-15-2011, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thrawn_aj

- The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery".

Now I understand why Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi is told to be a very pious man by his supporters...

Stitchawl · 02-15-2011, 06:11 PM

Proof that men have better friends

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband That she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 Best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
He had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
Best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was
still there.

Stitchawl

Laine · 02-16-2011, 06:07 AM

On the subject of schoolboy howlers - true story.

When I was at primary school in the 1950s we were learning about China and foot binding was covered.

The boy sitting at the desk in front of me wrote in his book Chinese people tie their toes in knots so they cannot grow any.

Of course, his spelling was bad too, but I can't remember exactly how he spelled it.

This was in England, by the way, not Australia.

BeTePoK · 02-16-2011, 10:43 AM

http://kmplease.com/sex/1020

yvanleterrible · 02-16-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeTePoK

http://kmplease.com/sex/1020

They say that too much sex makes one blind...

kennyc · 02-16-2011, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

They say that too much sex makes one blind...

Isn't that what the Manfred Mann song was about? Blinded by the Light

CyGuy · 02-16-2011, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

They say that too much sex makes one blind...

Braille is not looking too bad at this point...

WT Sharpe · 02-16-2011, 03:33 PM

Here's an old one, like me.

Did you hear about the fellow at the pickle factory who was fired for "dipping his wick" in the pickle slicer?

Spoiler:

02-16-2011, 03:33 PM	#2445
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Here's an old one, like me. Did you hear about the fellow at the pickle factory who was fired for "dipping his wick" in the pickle slicer? Spoiler: They fired her, too!

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02-14-2011, 07:22 AM	#2435
BeTePoK Guru Posts: 740 Karma: 12616666 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Republic of Belarus Device: Sony PRS-505	http://kmplease.com/other/609 I couldn't resist

02-14-2011, 07:54 AM	#2436
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,910 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: . To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2007 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Bloody hot down here !!!

02-15-2011, 06:11 PM	#2439
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Proof that men have better friends Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband That she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 Best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that He had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 Best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. Stitchawl

02-16-2011, 06:07 AM	#2440
Laine Addict Posts: 341 Karma: 1162396 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Cabramatta, Sydney, Australia Device: Aura H2O, Voyage	On the subject of schoolboy howlers - true story. When I was at primary school in the 1950s we were learning about China and foot binding was covered. The boy sitting at the desk in front of me wrote in his book Chinese people tie their toes in knots so they cannot grow any. Of course, his spelling was bad too, but I can't remember exactly how he spelled it. This was in England, by the way, not Australia.

02-16-2011, 10:43 AM	#2441
BeTePoK Guru Posts: 740 Karma: 12616666 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Republic of Belarus Device: Sony PRS-505	http://kmplease.com/sex/1020