Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 152

Format C: · 12-29-2010, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SneakySnake

I can take it! I did ask for it. I have been receiving jokes and comments about my intelligence (or lack of) my whole life. I did dye my hair brown for a while a couple of years ago to no avail. People still thought I was stupid and the blond roots growing through looked like greys!

Any attention is better than none.

- How do you call a brown-dyed blonde?
- Artificial Intelligence

Lycoming · 12-29-2010, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

- How do you call a brown-dyed blonde?
- Artificial Intelligence

Be afraid, be very afraid.

SneakySnake · 12-29-2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

- How do you call a brown-dyed blonde?
- Artificial Intelligence

Oi!

Lycoming · 12-31-2010, 02:33 PM

I read this; paused, thought about the consequences of my actions (or as Spike Milligan would have said, "The Quinsequonces,") and decided what the hell...........

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.

She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.....

"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.

It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.

Now, where did I leave that shovel and tin hat?

WT Sharpe · 12-31-2010, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

I read this; paused, thought about the consequences of my actions (or as Spike Milligan would have said, "The Quinsequonces,") and decided what the hell...........

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.

She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.....

"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.

It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.

Now, where did I leave that shovel and tin hat?

Great one!

TRUE STORY: This supposedly happened at Portsmouth General Hospital in Portsmouth, Virginia (the hospital is no longer there, having been torn down several years ago). It was related to me by someone who worked in the lab there. It happened before she worked there, but was related to her by other lab techs who were there at the time.

One of the patients had a vasectomy, and was due to bring in a sample to make sure everything went as planned. On the day the sample was due, his wife came running in with a specimen cup, spit into the cup, and handed it to the lab personnel asking, "Will saliva hurt it?"

kennyc · 12-31-2010, 03:07 PM

You guys are killin' me!

tubemonkey · 12-31-2010, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

"Will saliva hurt it?"

Hurt what???

Falcao · 12-31-2010, 06:09 PM

A blond bloke goes to the doctor:

- Doctor, I want a castration.
- WHAT?
- Yes doctor, I want a castration.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
- You want a castration?
- Yes, I do.

Two weeks later, the poor blond is walking on the main street and finds and old fellow. His friend says:

- How was the vasectomy?
- Oh, THAT was the word...

PLOP!

Lycoming · 01-01-2011, 12:22 PM

Meet the puppy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfnd5...layer_embedded

yvanleterrible · 01-01-2011, 12:26 PM

"What are you gonna do now?"

Lycoming · 01-05-2011, 03:32 PM

More messages from my alien contacts.......

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Lycoming calling Zog.......Lycoming calling Zog, come in your dementedness......

nohmi2 · 01-05-2011, 04:44 PM

Sad news this morning.

A body has washed up on the riverbank.

It is of a male, approximately 5'6" tall, with a straggly beard, brown long hair,

tattoos, and an Irish accent.

Cheers.

badgoodDeb · 01-05-2011, 04:54 PM

Umm. What??

... and if it has an accent, that means it's still a LIVE body? .... oh ....

kennyc · 01-05-2011, 05:17 PM

I'm not getting it either....????

SneakySnake · 01-05-2011, 06:03 PM

12-31-2010, 06:09 PM	#2273
Falcao Banned Posts: 1,344 Karma: 1028477047 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Nueva Andalucía Device: Sony PRS 650	Yet another old joke A blond bloke goes to the doctor: - Doctor, I want a castration. - WHAT? - Yes doctor, I want a castration. - Are you sure? - Yes. - You want a castration? - Yes, I do. Two weeks later, the poor blond is walking on the main street and finds and old fellow. His friend says: - How was the vasectomy? - Oh, THAT was the word... PLOP!

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12-31-2010, 02:33 PM	#2269
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	I read this; paused, thought about the consequences of my actions (or as Spike Milligan would have said, "The Quinsequonces,") and decided what the hell........... A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl..... "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?" He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out. Now, where did I leave that shovel and tin hat?

12-31-2010, 03:07 PM	#2271
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,913 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	You guys are killin' me!

01-01-2011, 12:22 PM	#2274
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Meet the puppy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfnd5...layer_embedded

01-01-2011, 12:26 PM	#2275
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	"What are you gonna do now?"

01-05-2011, 03:32 PM	#2276
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	More messages from my alien contacts....... Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? A: Shine a torch in her ears. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel. Lycoming calling Zog.......Lycoming calling Zog, come in your dementedness......

01-05-2011, 04:44 PM	#2277
nohmi2 Pensively observing. Posts: 1,758 Karma: 12675456 Join Date: Jun 2008 Device: Varied.	Sad news this morning. A body has washed up on the riverbank. It is of a male, approximately 5'6" tall, with a straggly beard, brown long hair, tattoos, and an Irish accent. Cheers.

01-05-2011, 04:54 PM	#2278
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,552 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Umm. What?? ... and if it has an accent, that means it's still a LIVE body? .... oh ....

01-05-2011, 05:17 PM	#2279
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,913 Karma: 119230421 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	I'm not getting it either....????

01-05-2011, 06:03 PM	#2280
SneakySnake I'm watching you! Posts: 6,113 Karma: 22344652 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Sunny Coast Qld, OZ Device: Sony PRS-900(unused lately) iPadAir2, want me Kindle Oasis