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Old 09-04-2023, 09:17 PM   #211
afv011
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If USA is so great, why did they invent USB?
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Old 09-05-2023, 05:09 AM   #212
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A man went to his doctor, complaining that his vasectomy didn't work.

"I thought it would keep my wife from getting pregnant," he said. "Instead, it just changed the colour of the baby."
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Old 09-05-2023, 09:42 AM   #213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ownedbycats View Post
A man went to his doctor, complaining that his vasectomy didn't work.

"I thought it would keep my wife from getting pregnant," he said. "Instead, it just changed the colour of the baby."
love that one
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Old 09-06-2023, 01:22 AM   #214
Sumanuil
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Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.
 
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What do you call somebody who hangs out with three musicians?

A drummer.
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Old 09-06-2023, 12:15 PM   #215
DNSB
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A young child says to their mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician."

She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
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Old 09-06-2023, 09:06 PM   #216
afv011
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How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't find the rhythm.
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Old 09-06-2023, 11:58 PM   #217
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Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother.
Elf: You have my bow.
Dwarf: And my axe.
Necromancer: And your brother.
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Old 09-07-2023, 07:05 AM   #218
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Who was the roundest knight at the round table?
Sir Cumference! Because he ate too much pi
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Old 09-07-2023, 01:56 PM   #219
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Why did the children cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Old 09-07-2023, 07:05 PM   #220
afv011
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Patron: I'd like a Shakespeare book.

Librarian: Which one?

Patron: William.
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Old 09-07-2023, 11:30 PM   #221
DNSB
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Parent: Say please
Toddler:

Parent: Say thank you
Toddler:

*knocks drink over*
Parent: Shit!
Toddler: Shit
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Old 09-08-2023, 12:54 AM   #222
Sumanuil
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Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.
 
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Odd one out: Herpes, gonorrhea, a condominium in Cleveland.

Gonorrhea, because you can get rid of it.
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Old 09-08-2023, 12:56 AM   #223
Sumanuil
Enthusiast
Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.
 
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Violas are not actually larger than violins. Violinists just have bigger heads.
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Old 09-08-2023, 12:57 AM   #224
Sumanuil
Enthusiast
Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.Sumanuil seizes *every* day. In the original latin.
 
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How can you tell if there's an elephant hiding in your refrigerator?

Look for footprints in the butter.
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Old 09-08-2023, 02:20 PM   #225
DNSB
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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.

Three weeks later, a ferret walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.

The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the ferret's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the ferret. "Your name is written inside the cover."
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