Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 142

Stitchawl · 11-29-2010, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

I'll have this one, please:

http://www.spacepen.com/astronautspa...aving-1-1.aspx

Which is similar to mine... except for the price.

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 11-30-2010, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Actually, it was the Fisher Pen Company that did the research and development. I have one of their pens that uses the special cartridge ink. It wasn't expensive, but it does write everywhere with a non-smearing ink. It doesn't go through the washing machine very well though, when I leave the pen in my shirt pocket. And if the cartridge happens to break while tumbling in the dryer... Well, the ink IS under pressure...

Stitchawl

Thanks. I assumed NASA developed it because they still sell it in their gift shop at Cape Canaveral. I knew the Russians didn't use pencils.

Lycoming · 11-30-2010, 02:33 PM

A young engineer who graduated with distinction, was leaving the office at 3:45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Stitchawl · 11-30-2010, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

A young engineer who graduated with distinction, was leaving the office at 3:45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

This was the perfect way to start my day! Thanks!

Stitchawl

badgoodDeb · 11-30-2010, 07:35 PM

Nice seasonal hat and pet, Stitchawl!

Stitchawl · 11-30-2010, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Nice seasonal hat and pet, Stitchawl!

Thanks. The hat is OK, but have you ever tried to housebreak a raindeer?

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 12-01-2010, 02:52 AM

A physicist, late for work at CERN, is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over. The police officer walks up to the car and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

The physicist answers, "No, but I know exactly where I am."

Stitchawl · 12-01-2010, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

A physicist, late for work at CERN, is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over. The police officer walks up to the car and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

The physicist answers, "No, but I know exactly where I am."

I don't get it.

Stitchawl

pdurrant · 12-01-2010, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I don't get it.

Stitchawl

Quantum Mechanics & the Heisenberg Uncertainty princicple. The more you know about the position of something, the less you know about its momentum and vice-versa.

Or, more formally, the product of the uncertainty about the position and the momentum cannot be less than a certain constant.

So by saying he knows exactly where he is, he's implying that he knows nothing about his momentum (which is proportional to his speed).

Lycoming · 12-01-2010, 03:51 AM

"Quantum Mechanics & the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle."

I was quietly happy with my initial interpretation of the joke then realised I'm way out of the loop. Ho hum, might as well get back under the duvet.

Stitchawl · 12-01-2010, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

Quantum Mechanics & the Heisenberg Uncertainty princicple. The more you know about the position of something, the less you know about its momentum and vice-versa.

Or, more formally, the product of the uncertainty about the position and the momentum cannot be less than a certain constant.

So by saying he knows exactly where he is, he's implying that he knows nothing about his momentum (which is proportional to his speed).

There is so little time and so much to learn. Thanks for clearing that up for me. I guess this means I probably wouldn't be the best choice for working with sub-atomic particles...

Maybe I can get a job in McD's... Would you like fries with that?

Stitchawl

kennyc · 12-01-2010, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

A physicist, late for work at CERN, is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over. The police officer walks up to the car and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

The physicist answers, "No, but I know exactly where I am."

Except is should start "The famous physicist Heisenberg was late getting to work..."

badgoodDeb · 12-01-2010, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

A physicist, late for work at CERN, is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over. The police officer walks up to the car and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"

The physicist answers, "No, but I know exactly where I am."

I like it!! [ I work at Fermilab, the now 2nd biggest particle accelerator, after CERN started up its bigger unit ]

kennyc · 12-01-2010, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I like it!! [ I work at Fermilab, the now 2nd biggest particle accelerator, after CERN started up its bigger unit ]

Really? You work at Fermilab! Oh WOW!

Lycoming · 12-01-2010, 03:42 PM

Fermilab

Is that something like a Swiss McDonalds?

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11-30-2010, 02:33 PM	#2118
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	A young engineer who graduated with distinction, was leaving the office at 3:45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy." Lesson: Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

11-30-2010, 07:35 PM	#2120
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,551 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Nice seasonal hat and pet, Stitchawl!

12-01-2010, 02:52 AM	#2122
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	A physicist, late for work at CERN, is speeding down the highway and gets pulled over. The police officer walks up to the car and asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" The physicist answers, "No, but I know exactly where I am."

12-01-2010, 03:51 AM	#2125
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	"Quantum Mechanics & the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle." I was quietly happy with my initial interpretation of the joke then realised I'm way out of the loop. Ho hum, might as well get back under the duvet.

12-01-2010, 03:42 PM	#2130
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	Fermilab Is that something like a Swiss McDonalds?