The Beginning: When Harv Met Vera - Page 13

badgoodDeb · 08-07-2009, 01:20 PM

Oooo, love it! Dr Montsnmags with ALL his powers on display. (well, at least this one)

pshrynk · 08-07-2009, 03:22 PM

"The whole idea of playing poker," said Biggles, "Is the odds. Now, I have memorized the odds of every hand possible and have worked out a system mathematically to determine whether or not I should continue to play or 'fold,' as they say." The erstwhile spy was busy eating ropa vieja in a cantina near Harv's hotel. Harv listened, fascinated. Fascinated, because Biggles was paying fo rthe food and more to the point, beer.

"So you know what the odds are of, say three threes with two inthe hole and one three showing?"

"Er... I intend to have them all memorized by the time the tournament comes around..."

"Which is when?"

"In three days."

"Have you ever actually played poker, Biggles?"

"As a lad! I was the family champion on Christmas Holidays! I could get those pennies rolling in my direction in a hurry, let me tell you!"

"Pennies?"

"Father had a penny jar that he allowed us to use as stakes. He made us count them up afterward to see to it that none went missing."

"You ever play for actual money? With adults? Not related to you?"

"Not as such, no..."

Harv stared up into the starlit skies. He wasn't that much of a hoo-rah patriot, having flown wioth the Brits int the Great War and avoiding the US altogether while waiting on certain statutes of limitation to expire, but he just couldn't see this through without at least trying to help out. Country was country, after all.

"Maybe we should get you in a practice game or two before the big event."

"Capital idea! I'm quite keen to put my system to the test!"

"I'm sure a lot of people are..."

zelda_pinwheel · 08-07-2009, 03:27 PM

"avoiding the US altogether while waiting on certain statutes of limitation to expire"

i bet he is...

poor biggles. the man is his own worst enemy. you'd almost feel sorry for the guy, except it's so entertaining !

pshrynk · 08-07-2009, 09:19 PM

Vivaldi slowly awoke. He felt strange in a "ram cotton into my ears and paint my tongue with flannel" sort of way. He listened carefully before opeing his eyes. No one was in the room. Now was as good a time as any to run away, he thought, and commenced to hop off the table, run to the door, pull on the handle, and run down the hallway.

He got as far as hopping off the table and discovered that he was tied down on his back by all fours. What rotten timing!

The man called Slick came in the room and said, "How are you feeling, boy?"

"Lousy! Hey, could you untie me? I really need to pee." Something else seemed to be amiss here, but Vivaldi couldn't quite put his finger on it...

"Sorry, Dr Montsnmags insisted that we wait until he got back. I think he was afraid that you would hurt yourself."

"Oh, I'm fine, just a bit groggy." He was getting closer to getting his, well paw on it.

"He won't be long."

"Could you roll me on my side, then? The old bladders' really twinging."

"I can do that. There's a pad under you, so just go ahead."

Reality, which had been sitting back in a corner, laughing its ass off, came crashing down through Vivaldi's skull with a loud "ping."

"Did I just talk? Only, I don't remember ever talking before. That would be something that I would definitely remember doing, had I done it before. What the hell is going on?"

"Oh, just one of Dr Montsnmags' little 'experiments'."

Vivaldi fainted.

ShortNCuddlyAm · 08-07-2009, 09:38 PM

Oooooh! And poor puppy, fainting in his own pee...

pshrynk · 08-08-2009, 08:39 AM

Yet another bath, I fear...

vivaldirules · 08-08-2009, 09:04 AM

I gotta do something about all these baths.

zelda_pinwheel · 08-08-2009, 09:09 AM

actually if anybody actually manages to actually get him *into* one without him escaping just in time, it might be a good thing, at this point. (sorry, vr !)

pshrynk · 08-08-2009, 01:24 PM

Bois Aussi and Slite walked through the part of town known as "That Really Bad Part." It was one of those places that was so bad that they didn't even give it its own name.

"Do you know where our contact is?" asked Bois Aussi.

"No, the message just said to go to That Really Bad Part of the city and look for something that was out of place. Sort of vague if you ask me."

"If you want vague, you should read French copyright laws. If we are to stop this situation from happening, I feel we must start very soon to get tot he root of things. We don't even know who the principles are, yet."

"Well, it's the Nazis and the Japanese. At least we know that much."

"But who are their representatives? They have to have sent their best agents for a task this delicate."

"Why? The Americans sent that Biggles guy."

"But all he has to do is stop the process. That can be done by blundering about with a tuba wrapped around your body and wearing lederhosen!"

"Like in Naples?"

"Oui!"

"My guess would be that the Nazis sent Von Wilebrand. Not sure who's up in the Japanese foreign service."

"Ah, mon ami, you have not heard?"

"What?" asked Slite.

"Von Wilebrand is no longer with us. He ran afoul a private investigator named Blue or something like that. A primary color of some sort. He will no longer be skulking the dark avenues of closely held secrets."

"Damn! He owed me money! Von Schlepwig is out, too. He's in Canada, right now, trying to get Yvan to build bomb parts."

"Le Terrible would do such a thing?"

"Not as far as I know, but he's making a bit of coin by acting like he would. This Depression is playing hell with cash flow."

"Tell me about it. I may be forced to moonlight with someone like the Swahilis if it keeps up."

Slite raised his snout and sniffed the air. "Does that taxi look out of place to you?"

"The brighlty painted one with the salsa music blaring from the speakers?"

pshrynk · 08-09-2009, 09:19 AM

Biggles was having a hard time of it. His new friend Wallbanger had graciously gotten him into a poker game in the back of a little cantina and then had slipped out to the front to quietly drink himself under a table. Biggles had relished the chance to try out his system. He had blinked at the $500 buy in, but had decided that it was small change compared to the $25,000 buy in for the tournament coming up. And he was on an expense account.

The other players were capital lads. One, named Filthy Pierre, was especially attentive to his needs. "No, monsieur! You cannot draw four cards. Sacre! No one can be this incompetent!"

Biggles took that as a complement, not knowing what "sack rub" meant, he filled in the blanks for it to be Spanish for "I am lacking in ability to meet the steely eyed onslaught of the genius of this, my new friend, I am a failure!"

Another player had been quietly weeping for the last three minutes. Biggles couldn't understand what the fuss was over. He had just asked if his three twos were better than the two pairs the weeping man had held. He had fully accepted the answer as all the chips were swept to the weeping man's pile.

A third man was just sitting and staring at him. This was beginning to make him a tad uncomfortable. Why in blue blazes wouldn't the man stop that? Now he was beginning to mutter in Spanish.

The men were all staring at him, now. With a start, he realized that this was that part of the game where they all turned over their cards and Biggles asked what they meant. He took one more look at his hand, Two twos "showing", a Jack, a Queen, and an ace. He turned his hand face up and said, "How did I do, Old Boys?" The weeeping man's head lowered to the table top, the staring man slowly pulled out his knife and made a show of putting it on the table before him, and Filthy Pierre started saying somehting about quitting poker altogether and taking up cribbage.

The fifth player, who was inexplicably a squid laid out a Kings over sevens full house and gave Biggles a look that seemed to say, "Hi! I've been noting that you are quite likely the world's most incompetent poker player and I have no understand why you would have raised on that hand, since all you had down was crap. But, I'll glady take the last of your chips and thank you for it. By the way, these gentlemen, being of a suspicious nature and not truly believing that anyone could be that bad at poker, have reached the conclusion that you are a card shark and are quite willing at this point to remove your shoes without giving you the luxury of taking your feet out of them. I suggest you walk away whlie you still have the ability.*"

*Squid are very emotive creatures. You just have to be able to read them.

ShortNCuddlyAm · 08-09-2009, 11:41 AM

Poor Biggles!

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

The fifth player, who was inexplicably a squid

And

some more

That rather tickled me for some reason...

pshrynk · 08-09-2009, 07:41 PM

Vera sat in the small passenger lounge of the steamer. She had surreptitiously looked everywhere she could get to in search of her dog. She felt somewhat attached to the little guy. After all, most of her clothes would now permanently reek of disgruntled puppy. She wondered what had become of him.

Dr Montsnmags came in and sat down in front of her. "How are you... today, my dear?"

"I'm worried about Vivaldi. He just disappeared into thin air. I hope he didn't jump overboard. He didn't look like taht good a swimmer."

"I could paddle all the way home on a bet, toots."

"What?"

"I didn't say... anything," replied Montsnmags.

"Must have been my imagination, then."

"While you're at it, why don't you imagine getting me some bacon."

"Why would you want bacon, doctor?"

"I... don't. Not at this time... of night, anyway."

"We get into port tomorrow, right?" said Vera, trying to change the subject.

"Is that when I get my bacon?"

"Yes... we do. I must then... make arrangements to enter the tournament."

"Then I get my bacon?"

"Why are you asking me about bacon?"

"I"m... not. He... is." Dr Montsnmags pointed at the floor near Vera's feet.

She looked down. There was a small grey dog there. He perked his ears up and sat up, saying, "Whine whine!"

"Did he just talk?"

"Dogs don't talk. At least usually we don't. Er... Bark?"

"I must be going mad."

"There are thing we can... do to fix that."

"No thanks, I've got my own roadmap. Just one more thing... WHY THE HELL IS THAT DOG TALKING?!?!?"

"Because just hoping for bacon wasn't working. Sheesh!"

ShortNCuddlyAm · 08-09-2009, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Just one more thing... WHY THE HELL IS THAT DOG TALKING?!?!?"

"Because just hoping for bacon wasn't working. Sheesh!"

brilliant!

Mindy · 08-10-2009, 06:29 AM

As a matter of interest, we are at The A-Team: The Musical the other night and Murdoch had an INVISIBLE dog as a co-pilot. Something to think about....

zelda_pinwheel · 08-10-2009, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

"...Just one more thing... WHY THE HELL IS THAT DOG TALKING?!?!?"

"Because just hoping for bacon wasn't working. Sheesh!"

desperate dogs, desperate measures, and all that, eh ?

08-08-2009, 01:24 PM	#189
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Bois Aussi and Slite walked through the part of town known as "That Really Bad Part." It was one of those places that was so bad that they didn't even give it its own name. "Do you know where our contact is?" asked Bois Aussi. "No, the message just said to go to That Really Bad Part of the city and look for something that was out of place. Sort of vague if you ask me." "If you want vague, you should read French copyright laws. If we are to stop this situation from happening, I feel we must start very soon to get tot he root of things. We don't even know who the principles are, yet." "Well, it's the Nazis and the Japanese. At least we know that much." "But who are their representatives? They have to have sent their best agents for a task this delicate." "Why? The Americans sent that Biggles guy." "But all he has to do is stop the process. That can be done by blundering about with a tuba wrapped around your body and wearing lederhosen!" "Like in Naples?" "Oui!" "My guess would be that the Nazis sent Von Wilebrand. Not sure who's up in the Japanese foreign service." "Ah, mon ami, you have not heard?" "What?" asked Slite. "Von Wilebrand is no longer with us. He ran afoul a private investigator named Blue or something like that. A primary color of some sort. He will no longer be skulking the dark avenues of closely held secrets." "Damn! He owed me money! Von Schlepwig is out, too. He's in Canada, right now, trying to get Yvan to build bomb parts." "Le Terrible would do such a thing?" "Not as far as I know, but he's making a bit of coin by acting like he would. This Depression is playing hell with cash flow." "Tell me about it. I may be forced to moonlight with someone like the Swahilis if it keeps up." Slite raised his snout and sniffed the air. "Does that taxi look out of place to you?" "The brighlty painted one with the salsa music blaring from the speakers?" Last edited by pshrynk; 08-09-2009 at 08:59 AM.

08-09-2009, 09:19 AM	#190
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Biggles was having a hard time of it. His new friend Wallbanger had graciously gotten him into a poker game in the back of a little cantina and then had slipped out to the front to quietly drink himself under a table. Biggles had relished the chance to try out his system. He had blinked at the $500 buy in, but had decided that it was small change compared to the $25,000 buy in for the tournament coming up. And he was on an expense account. The other players were capital lads. One, named Filthy Pierre, was especially attentive to his needs. "No, monsieur! You cannot draw four cards. Sacre! No one can be this incompetent!" Biggles took that as a complement, not knowing what "sack rub" meant, he filled in the blanks for it to be Spanish for "I am lacking in ability to meet the steely eyed onslaught of the genius of this, my new friend, I am a failure!" Another player had been quietly weeping for the last three minutes. Biggles couldn't understand what the fuss was over. He had just asked if his three twos were better than the two pairs the weeping man had held. He had fully accepted the answer as all the chips were swept to the weeping man's pile. A third man was just sitting and staring at him. This was beginning to make him a tad uncomfortable. Why in blue blazes wouldn't the man stop that? Now he was beginning to mutter in Spanish. The men were all staring at him, now. With a start, he realized that this was that part of the game where they all turned over their cards and Biggles asked what they meant. He took one more look at his hand, Two twos "showing", a Jack, a Queen, and an ace. He turned his hand face up and said, "How did I do, Old Boys?" The weeeping man's head lowered to the table top, the staring man slowly pulled out his knife and made a show of putting it on the table before him, and Filthy Pierre started saying somehting about quitting poker altogether and taking up cribbage. The fifth player, who was inexplicably a squid laid out a Kings over sevens full house and gave Biggles a look that seemed to say, "Hi! I've been noting that you are quite likely the world's most incompetent poker player and I have no understand why you would have raised on that hand, since all you had down was crap. But, I'll glady take the last of your chips and thank you for it. By the way, these gentlemen, being of a suspicious nature and not truly believing that anyone could be that bad at poker, have reached the conclusion that you are a card shark and are quite willing at this point to remove your shoes without giving you the luxury of taking your feet out of them. I suggest you walk away whlie you still have the ability." Squid are very emotive creatures. You just have to be able to read them. Last edited by pshrynk; 08-10-2009 at 02:45 AM.

08-09-2009, 07:41 PM	#192
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Vera sat in the small passenger lounge of the steamer. She had surreptitiously looked everywhere she could get to in search of her dog. She felt somewhat attached to the little guy. After all, most of her clothes would now permanently reek of disgruntled puppy. She wondered what had become of him. Dr Montsnmags came in and sat down in front of her. "How are you... today, my dear?" "I'm worried about Vivaldi. He just disappeared into thin air. I hope he didn't jump overboard. He didn't look like taht good a swimmer." "I could paddle all the way home on a bet, toots." "What?" "I didn't say... anything," replied Montsnmags. "Must have been my imagination, then." "While you're at it, why don't you imagine getting me some bacon." "Why would you want bacon, doctor?" "I... don't. Not at this time... of night, anyway." "We get into port tomorrow, right?" said Vera, trying to change the subject. "Is that when I get my bacon?" "Yes... we do. I must then... make arrangements to enter the tournament." "Then I get my bacon?" "Why are you asking me about bacon?" "I"m... not. He... is." Dr Montsnmags pointed at the floor near Vera's feet. She looked down. There was a small grey dog there. He perked his ears up and sat up, saying, "Whine whine!" "Did he just talk?" "Dogs don't talk. At least usually we don't. Er... Bark?" "I must be going mad." "There are thing we can... do to fix that." "No thanks, I've got my own roadmap. Just one more thing... WHY THE HELL IS THAT DOG TALKING?!?!?" "Because just hoping for bacon wasn't working. Sheesh!" Last edited by pshrynk; 09-01-2009 at 01:40 PM.

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08-07-2009, 01:20 PM	#181
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,550 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Oooo, love it! Dr Montsnmags with ALL his powers on display. (well, at least this one)

08-07-2009, 03:22 PM	#182
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	"The whole idea of playing poker," said Biggles, "Is the odds. Now, I have memorized the odds of every hand possible and have worked out a system mathematically to determine whether or not I should continue to play or 'fold,' as they say." The erstwhile spy was busy eating ropa vieja in a cantina near Harv's hotel. Harv listened, fascinated. Fascinated, because Biggles was paying fo rthe food and more to the point, beer. "So you know what the odds are of, say three threes with two inthe hole and one three showing?" "Er... I intend to have them all memorized by the time the tournament comes around..." "Which is when?" "In three days." "Have you ever actually played poker, Biggles?" "As a lad! I was the family champion on Christmas Holidays! I could get those pennies rolling in my direction in a hurry, let me tell you!" "Pennies?" "Father had a penny jar that he allowed us to use as stakes. He made us count them up afterward to see to it that none went missing." "You ever play for actual money? With adults? Not related to you?" "Not as such, no..." Harv stared up into the starlit skies. He wasn't that much of a hoo-rah patriot, having flown wioth the Brits int the Great War and avoiding the US altogether while waiting on certain statutes of limitation to expire, but he just couldn't see this through without at least trying to help out. Country was country, after all. "Maybe we should get you in a practice game or two before the big event." "Capital idea! I'm quite keen to put my system to the test!" "I'm sure a lot of people are..."

08-07-2009, 03:27 PM	#183
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	"avoiding the US altogether while waiting on certain statutes of limitation to expire" i bet he is... poor biggles. the man is his own worst enemy. you'd almost feel sorry for the guy, except it's so entertaining !

08-07-2009, 09:19 PM	#184
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Vivaldi slowly awoke. He felt strange in a "ram cotton into my ears and paint my tongue with flannel" sort of way. He listened carefully before opeing his eyes. No one was in the room. Now was as good a time as any to run away, he thought, and commenced to hop off the table, run to the door, pull on the handle, and run down the hallway. He got as far as hopping off the table and discovered that he was tied down on his back by all fours. What rotten timing! The man called Slick came in the room and said, "How are you feeling, boy?" "Lousy! Hey, could you untie me? I really need to pee." Something else seemed to be amiss here, but Vivaldi couldn't quite put his finger on it... "Sorry, Dr Montsnmags insisted that we wait until he got back. I think he was afraid that you would hurt yourself." "Oh, I'm fine, just a bit groggy." He was getting closer to getting his, well paw on it. "He won't be long." "Could you roll me on my side, then? The old bladders' really twinging." "I can do that. There's a pad under you, so just go ahead." Reality, which had been sitting back in a corner, laughing its ass off, came crashing down through Vivaldi's skull with a loud "ping." "Did I just talk? Only, I don't remember ever talking before. That would be something that I would definitely remember doing, had I done it before. What the hell is going on?" "Oh, just one of Dr Montsnmags' little 'experiments'." Vivaldi fainted.

08-07-2009, 09:38 PM	#185
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	Oooooh! And poor puppy, fainting in his own pee...

08-08-2009, 08:39 AM	#186
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Yet another bath, I fear...

08-08-2009, 09:04 AM	#187
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	I gotta do something about all these baths.

08-08-2009, 09:09 AM	#188
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	actually if anybody actually manages to actually get him into one without him escaping just in time, it might be a good thing, at this point. (sorry, vr !)

08-10-2009, 06:29 AM	#194
Mindy Away with the Faeries Posts: 483 Karma: 8459 Join Date: May 2008 Location: Edinburgh, Scotland Device: Sony PRS 650	As a matter of interest, we are at The A-Team: The Musical the other night and Murdoch had an INVISIBLE dog as a co-pilot. Something to think about....

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