Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 13

ownedbycats · 08-19-2023, 06:41 AM

A Canadian couple were at the Miami airport to return to Canada. They were dressed up in heavy coats, mittens, scarves and winter boots, ready for the Canadian winter when arriving back home.

Another couple looked at them in amazement. One says to the other, "I wonder where they are from?"

The wife goes over and asks them where they are from and the man answers "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."

When the wife returns, her husband asks "well? Where are they from?"

The wife answers "I don't know, they don't seem to speak any English."

DNSB · 08-19-2023, 11:56 AM

Three men were traveling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London. One man was from England, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.

The guy from England began by saying: "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert."

Then the man from France spoke up: "I sat my wife down and told her, that from now on she would have to do all the shopping, and also do the cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries.

The fellow from Canada was married to an enlightened woman from the prairies... He sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said: "I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and housecleaning. Well the first day I saw nothing. The second day I still saw nothing. But on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye ..."

afv011 · 08-19-2023, 02:10 PM

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan?

Take away its broom.

DNSB · 08-20-2023, 01:56 AM

Scientists are concerned the legalization of marijuana in Canada may result in an entire nation of overly friendly and polite people.

afv011 · 08-20-2023, 12:16 PM

Did you know that Canada has a real hard water problem?

Most of the time, it’s frozen.

ownedbycats · 08-22-2023, 10:59 AM

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

DNSB · 08-22-2023, 02:56 PM

Thought that was my grandfather...

I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar, on my desk.

Spoiler:

afv011 · 08-25-2023, 10:13 PM

Top ten reasons I procrastinate:

1.

DNSB · 08-25-2023, 10:15 PM

I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.

Comfy.n · 08-26-2023, 12:41 AM

Today I finished reading this life-changing book about procrastination, might give it a 5 star rating and a detailed review, next week.

DNSB · 08-26-2023, 03:35 PM

If you're not part of the solution—you're part of the precipitate.

Comfy.n · 08-26-2023, 04:35 PM

Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? Because they have all the solutions

DNSB · 08-26-2023, 06:19 PM

Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?

They had no chemistry.

afv011 · 08-26-2023, 09:38 PM

How do you tell if you girl friend is vegetarian if you haven't met herbivore?

DNSB · 08-27-2023, 12:22 AM

What was Aladdin called after he went vegan?

Saladdin.

08-19-2023, 06:41 AM	#181
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,649 Karma: 74166147 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A Canadian couple were at the Miami airport to return to Canada. They were dressed up in heavy coats, mittens, scarves and winter boots, ready for the Canadian winter when arriving back home. Another couple looked at them in amazement. One says to the other, "I wonder where they are from?" The wife goes over and asks them where they are from and the man answers "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan." When the wife returns, her husband asks "well? Where are they from?" The wife answers "I don't know, they don't seem to speak any English." Last edited by ownedbycats; 08-19-2023 at 06:43 AM.

08-22-2023, 02:56 PM	#187
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Thought that was my grandfather... I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar, on my desk. Spoiler: As a matter of fact, I am really a very loveable person, as my friends tell me—or they would, if I had any friends. Deep down underneath it all I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar, on my desk.—Robert Bloch

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08-19-2023, 11:56 AM	#182
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Three men were traveling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London. One man was from England, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives. The guy from England began by saying: "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert." Then the man from France spoke up: "I sat my wife down and told her, that from now on she would have to do all the shopping, and also do the cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries. The fellow from Canada was married to an enlightened woman from the prairies... He sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said: "I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and housecleaning. Well the first day I saw nothing. The second day I still saw nothing. But on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye ..."

08-19-2023, 02:10 PM	#183
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,963 Karma: 2079777777 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan? Take away its broom.

08-20-2023, 01:56 AM	#184
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Scientists are concerned the legalization of marijuana in Canada may result in an entire nation of overly friendly and polite people.

08-20-2023, 12:16 PM	#185
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,963 Karma: 2079777777 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	Did you know that Canada has a real hard water problem? Most of the time, it’s frozen.

08-22-2023, 10:59 AM	#186
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 10,649 Karma: 74166147 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

08-25-2023, 10:13 PM	#188
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,963 Karma: 2079777777 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	Top ten reasons I procrastinate: 1.

08-25-2023, 10:15 PM	#189
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I’ll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it.

08-26-2023, 12:41 AM	#190
Comfy.n want to learn what I want Posts: 1,591 Karma: 7463599 Join Date: Sep 2020 Device: none	Today I finished reading this life-changing book about procrastination, might give it a 5 star rating and a detailed review, next week.

08-26-2023, 03:35 PM	#191
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	If you're not part of the solution—you're part of the precipitate.

08-26-2023, 04:35 PM	#192
Comfy.n want to learn what I want Posts: 1,591 Karma: 7463599 Join Date: Sep 2020 Device: none	Why are chemists excellent for solving problems? Because they have all the solutions

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08-26-2023, 06:19 PM	#193
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why did the biologist break up with the physicist? They had no chemistry.

08-26-2023, 09:38 PM	#194
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,963 Karma: 2079777777 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	How do you tell if you girl friend is vegetarian if you haven't met herbivore?

08-27-2023, 12:22 AM	#195
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 44,684 Karma: 168431851 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What was Aladdin called after he went vegan? Saladdin.