The Vent and Rant Thread

[wannabee]

First day back at work after a week off and enjoyed every minute so I thought I'd post it here. Still like my new job.
Now the rant . . . my sister was told she has terminal cancer two weeks ago and I haven't had the spine to call her. aaaaarrrrrrgghhhh! Gawd it's hard to press this button.

[orlok]

Originally Posted by wannabee

Now the rant . . . my sister was told she has terminal cancer two weeks ago and I haven't had the spine to call her. aaaaarrrrrrgghhhh! Gawd it's hard to press this button.

That's awful (your sister being ill, I mean). Just do it - you'll regret it if not, and the long you let it slide, the worse and harder it gets. And it is unlikley to be as hard as you imagine.

[wannabee]

Originally Posted by orlok

That's awful (your sister being ill, I mean). Just do it - you'll regret it if not, and the long you let it slide, the worse and harder it gets. And it is unlikley to be as hard as you imagine.

Thanks . . . I know. . . . I should have visited this weekend. My mother died in a car accident when I was 2 months old. My sister's husband was driving but I was never told. I found out looking through the archives and everyone has been coy ever since. I'm the baby of seven and now 52 years old. My sister is 20 years my senior and this will bring up the old memories of NOT dealing with the past. This will bring up the past. But I was only 2 months old, why should it be ME?

[wannabee]

Sorry.... forget it. It's not about me.

[wannabee]

bugger

[DixieGal]

Mark, honey, it is indeed about you. If she dies today, then in one year you will remember the date. Do you want to remember it with regret as the day you passed up the last opportunity to forgive her? Or would you rather remember it as the day you finally started to let go of the loss you feel that she caused you, even if you can not love her? You know which choice I would make, but this is about you.

[orlok]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Mark, honey, it is indeed about you. If she dies today, then in one year you will remember the date. Do you want to remember it with regret as the day you passed up the last opportunity to forgive her? Or would you rather remember it as the day you finally started to let go of the loss you feel that she caused you, even if you can not love her? You know which choice I would make, but this is about you.

to what Dixie said (and put much better than I could).

[wannabee]

Ummm, I'm going to bed now so don't think I'm rude not replying. It's the other side of the planet after all. My sister wasn't driving. She wasn't even in the car.
I suppose the problem here is that nobody speaks about it. 50 years of nothing and if it is brought up they say it was my brother's friend driving, (secreted as the driver, not the brother-in-law who I still respect dearly, but was always the driver - learned through library newspapers, never spoken about by family) I went to his and my sister's marriage in a basket being just 2 months old. I suppose the problem here is that my 'kin' (trying to make it American) have buried one death 52 years ago - Mum. Now we have another to deal with. I just need to know how to deal with it.

and bugger, and all those other swear words.

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Mark, honey, it is indeed about you. If she dies today, then in one year you will remember the date. Do you want to remember it with regret as the day you passed up the last opportunity to forgive her? Or would you rather remember it as the day you finally started to let go of the loss you feel that she caused you, even if you can not love her? You know which choice I would make, but this is about you.

Mark - the lady has said it perfectly! We always joke about last chances, and "if only I had the chance," etc. - this is your chance now. The important stuff is NOW, not the past. Let go and live now. Cherish the now - with her.

[orlok]

Goodnight Mark. Speak to you tomorrow.

[wannabee]

Ok, I just put my arm around all your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. I'll take a day off work this week and go and see Rhonda and tell her how much I love her and do the same.

[orlok]

Originally Posted by wannabee

Ok, I just put my arm around all your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. I'll take a day off work this week and go and see Rhonda and tell her how much I love her and do the same.

A sound plan. Best of luck Mark.

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by wannabee

Ok, I just put my arm around all your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. I'll take a day off work this week and go and see Rhonda and tell her how much I love her and do the same.

Great plan Mark! Our shoulders will be here if & when you need them!

[Rumpelteazer]

Originally Posted by wannabee

Ok, I just put my arm around all your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. I'll take a day off work this week and go and see Rhonda and tell her how much I love her and do the same.

That's a good idea.
I know how it is to be lied to for years by my own family, but there are situations that things from the past need to be put aside and for me this would be one of those situations.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Nyssa]

Originally Posted by wannabee

I'll take a day off work this week and go and see Rhonda and tell her how much I love her and do the same.

Try to go sooner than later. I'm betting it will do both you and your sister a world of good, emotionally.
The best of wishes to you and your family.