Harv and Vera's Mexico Vacation

[pshrynk]

:hmmm:

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

But the question is -- is Heinz von Schlepwig *his* name, or somebody else's??

You mean... the chap calling himself Heinz Von Schlepwig might have stolen some-one else's (the real Herr von Shchlepwig's, even) name and be using it illegitatmely?

The fiend!

[GeoffC]

The unmitigated swine....

[pshrynk]

The plane came in low over the mountains surrounding Mexico City. in the cockpit, the pilot and co-pilot were having an argument that had been going on since Managua.

"Look... You can't just say that because they are out to destroy our way of life and want to see us all dead that they are enemies!"

"Not the way I see it. A formal declaration of war is sooo last century! What about the damage to the infrastructure? Have you ever seen the costs that are involved?"

"But what I'm saying is this: An entire grouping cannot be painted black by the actions of a few radicals within the group. We don't have any reason to believe that the elimination of the entire population would be of any benefit!"

"And all I'm saying is that we give a go and see what happens. If there is some sort of Karmic Debt that comes as a result, then we gladly pay it in order to be rid of their menace."

"You can pay it. I'm not interested. Besides, some of them are actually pretty cute."

"Typical human! You think with an anthropomorphised filter in front of you all the time! You wouldn't know an actual threat to the lightness of being of the worldif it bit you on the knackers. And in this case, it may just happen!"

"'Anthropomorphised?' As in talking dog?"

"Damned squirrels!" muttered Vivaldi. "We have clearance from the tower for landing. Try to remember that this is a dry landing this time?"

"Heading zero eight. Ready for approach."

The Grumman Goose taxied to a stop at the commercial terminal and swung around to it's tether points. Harv looked down and had a vaguely disorienting moment.

"That's funny," he said.

"What?"

"I just looked down and had the feeling that I should have seen something that wasn't there."

"Come to think of it, I have this feeling that I should be running through the cargo bay, yapping madly. Funny old world."

"I wonder if this is something important?"

"Well, boys! That was a right cheerful flight! Let's get on with our business, then shall we?" came the overly cheerful voice of Lieutenant Colonel Biggles from the cargo bay.

"Must have been nothing," said Harv. They got up and crawled to the back of the plane. They stepped out into the sunlight.

And into the barrels of the guns of the welcoming committee standing there.

"Hola, senors! And Welcome to Mexico City. Please put your hands in the air where we can see them!"

As Vivaldi tucked tail and ran away as fast as four legs could carry him, he was thinking, "If I'd been chasing after something, Harv would have been cahsing after me and we would have both avoided that!"

[zelda_pinwheel]

oh no ! this is all because a couple of socks didn't read the script !! hugo and lefty, i'm very disappointed in you ! i hope you have a plan to fix this !

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

oh no ! this is all because a couple of socks didn't read the script !! hugo and lefty, i'm very disappointed in you ! i hope you have a plan to fix this !

Actually, psockpuppet was hung under from his "experiment" with the Jack and LSD, trying to re-create absinthe, so it's not entirely their fault.

[zelda_pinwheel]

well still, 2 socks or 3, they're so unreliable sometimes !

i'm confident they'll do everything to right the situation though. they may be a bit fluff-headed (what do you expect, they are socks after all) but their hearts are in the right place (metaphorically speaking. socks obviously don't have cardiovascular systems).

[psockpuppet]

The thugs with guns marched Harv and Biggles away. The Goose sat on the tarmac, as if dejected.

"Hello?" came a plaintive voice from inside the cockpit. "Is anyone going to tie the plane down? Or park it properly? Or, failing that, at least turn off the autopilot? Anyone? How typical."

The M.A.R.V.I.N. sat inert, since he had no other real choice. He thought about firing up the engines and flying into the surrounding mountains, but decided he hadn't the energy.


BZZZZZZSST! POUF! Suddenly the smell of ozone and the air, or at least a small part of it was filled with smart wool socks.

One was wearing Harv's sunglasses, which had been left behind. "Hugo?" it said.

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"I think we're too late to hit our marks."

"Probably comes from using the JordanAire contractor, rather than Air Adrian. Didn't have the temporal displacement guarantee."

"Do you think Adrian will be upset that we went with a competitor?"

"Nah. He said that he was too busy rigging some sort of election for Germany, so he referred us to JA."

"So what do we do, now, Hugo?"

""Well, it looks like we missed all the action, here. I guess we go and see what we can dig up in the way of Talavera Pottery. And Mexican hats."

"I like plates. Can we get some postcards, too?"

"Yes. We can get some postcards."


The Goose sat on the tarmac. "I don't suppose you could bother to turn that switch on my panel to 'off,' could you? Hello? How typical."

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by psockpuppet

BZZZZZZSST! POUF! Suddenly the smell of ozone and the air, or at least a small part of it was filled with smart wool socks.

YAY !!!!!

"Do you think Adrian will be upset that we went with a competitor?"

"Nah. He said that he was too busy rigging some sort of election for Germany, so he referred us to JA."

unless there is some kind of dramatic reversal in the last hours, "germany" is going to want her money back.

"I like plates. Can we get some postcards, too?"

"Yes. We can get some postcards."

postcards are essential.

hm. what do you think are the chances they can combine rescue mission and souvenir shopping ? probably pretty good, actually, knowing them.

The Goose sat on the tarmac. "I don't suppose you could bother to turn that switch on my panel to 'off,' could you? Hello? How typical."

[pshrynk]

A man was walking a dog down the street. He seemed to be talking to himself and amazingly, answering himself quite animatedly.

"The only reason I'm letting you do this, gringo, is that there is a strict leash law in this part of town."

"Right, right..."

"If I wanted to, I could be off this leash in a second. Just to be clear."

"Sure. Where is this place we are going to?"

"Just down this road. The Factor has a residence that he keeps. There. The White building on the right."

Bois Aussi looked down a long row of white buildings on his right. "Okay. Lead on, petit chien."

"If I find out that means anything nasty, you are getting such an ankle worrying..."

They walked up to the house. Bois Aussi knocked. A large man opened the door. "Si?"

"We are here to see The Factor," said Little Friend.

"Pull the other one."

"We have the card of the Taxi Boss," said Bois Aussi before the chihuahua could launch himself. He handed a small cardboard to the door keeper.

"This way."

They followed the man down a long corridor. Bois Aussi looked around and was not particularly surprised to see holes at intervals cut into the walls. Perfect for laying an ambush if needed.

"In here."

They entered the room ahead. The lights were dim. In the back of the room, a large shape seemed to be lounging on the couch.

"So. Who are you and what is that brings you in?"

"This is some French guy who the Taxi Boss is enamored with. Works for France and the Swahili Nation."

"The Swahili Nation?"

"There is a depression going on. I have information that is very important! The Germans are going to try and destroy the US Pacific Fleet while it is on maneuvres in the Sea of Cortez. They then plan to blame Mexico and start a war sot that there will be a distraction to their ambitions elsewhere."

"In France?"

"Non! In Africa. there are mineral deposits that are essential to their plans!"

"Hmm." The shape on the couch turned to the wall behind it and said, "I guess this has something to do with you, then?"

"Damned straight it does!" said Vera as she stepped out from behind a curtain. "Where did this information... come... er... from?"

Bois Aussi looked at the beautiful face of a thousand dreams hovering in front of him. He could hear bluebirds chirping. "What?"

"Erm... Uh, what?"

A voice from near the floor said, "If you two are done with the bucket of water moment, I'd like to get back to my territory."

"OH! I mean.. Oh. Right. Um, where did you get this information?"

"From French Bureau of Intelligence. Might I ask your name, mademoiselle? I do hope that it is mademoiselle, for if your are married, I will have to go straight to my hotel room and kill myself from grief!"

"I'm Vera. Vera Wayne... And you are?"

"Je suis Hank, Comte de Bois Aussi! At your every service and command."

"Right," said the Factor as he jumped down from his couch, "And My name is Slite. Pleased to meet all of you. What do we do with this information?"

Just then, a whirlwind of teeth, paws, tails, and small brown bodies flew into the room, followed close by the large doorkeeper.

"Boss! Boss! Thank God we found you!" Geroge and Bob ran around the room excitedly.

"Now what? Sit! Stay!"

The two chihuahuas came to a halt and the door keeper tripped over them.

"Boss!" said George, "That big German woman is planning to kill the Taxi Boss! We just came from her headquarters!"

[zelda_pinwheel]

Hank is such a smooth talker...

slite on the scene !!! and a price on vera's head !!! where will it all lead ????

[pshrynk]

Slite looked down on the two messengers of the Chihuahua Cartel. He had to, since, being a Bernese Mountain Dog, there was no way to look up to them. "Are you sure?"

They stared at him, wide eyed, which is pretty much the constant expression of a chihuahua, but in this case, moreso. "Si!" said George, "We were there! The Big German Man told her that the Taxi Boss was to be killed!"

"Did they say who was going to do it?"

"No! But she left right after that. There was something else, too, but I can't remember..."

"That is more than enough for now. Mssr le Comte, Vera, I need someone to go to the Taxi Boss and give warning. Would you two be so kind?"

"Erm... Sure! That would be a great idea!" Vera hadn't felt this way since junior high when BillyWalker had asked her to the Valentine's dance.

"It would be an honor to accompany Mademoiselle. To the Gates of Hell, if necessary!"

"Why would you need to go to a MExican National Park, right now? Little Friend, I will be needing you and your messengers for another task, if you would not mind waiting a bit?"

Hank and Vera left the room, eyes only for each other. "Do you suppose we could get some Talavera Pottery on the way? I could really go for a vase, right now..."

[Phogg]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

who is that ?

(i'm *not* actually a rabid Buffy fan, you see...)

[nekokami]

That image prompted the Muffin Man to do his Count voice... "MBah hah ha!"

Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's get back to the socks!

[lilac_jive]

Originally Posted by nekokami

That image prompted the Muffin Man to do his Count voice... "MBah hah ha!"

Alright, enough sidetracking. Let's get back to the socks!

I love the Count laugh...