Unutterably Silly Memorable FIRST SENTENCES - Only Yours, please

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Let's see... one shot to take out the light... one shot to get the left gunman... one shot to wing the right one... a shot to cut the alarm wire... a covering shot to get to the car... a shot to take out the door lock... another covering shot, while I hot-wire it... a last shot to drop the garage door behind me, covering my escape... man, oh, man, why am I always two bullets short for my best plans?

[Taylor514ce]

The sympathetic vibrations of Vera's rotund backside as she shook Ketchup onto the meatloaf reminded Harv of the time he'd tried to make Jello shots in the kiddie pool last 4th of July... he may not have clear memories of the ensuing festivities, but as Vera slapped a wet load of Heinz on the steaming slab of meat, he knew there'd damn well be fireworks tonight.

[Dr. Drib]

“Welcome to my humble palace,” the Count said, as he kissed Lady Orvath’s scented hand, his moustache feeling like a wet caterpiller to her, the kind you see decapitated after mowing the yard on a hot summer day, the various insects’ entrails cooking in the heat like sausages writhing on a grill, and the little caterpiller’s legs spasming in death, while the remaining caterpillers continue to move with frantic haste (but always so slowly) away from the blades of the approaching lawn mower, only to be torn to grisly pieces, the carnage of insects and insect parts flying in all directions and then carried away by the insatiable appetite of patient predators, even as Lady Orvath murmurs a polite but demure, “I’m charmed, I’m sure.”



Don

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

When he felt it was time, he said, "It's time," and he executed the mental exercise that was best described as solving a spatial haiku with a chorus girl's G-string, the result of which was the peculiar kneading of hyper-Einstinian physics and untamed exotic particles that inevitably resulted in his body being non-physically translated through the nearest dimensional brane and sidestepped back out on Mars.

[alia]

Originally Posted by mjh215

My first sentence got me 3 months in county lockup...




(Ok, I've never been arrested, but I wanted to use that )

-MJ

Bahaha... amused.

[Daithi]

I liked Taylor's.

The sympathetic vibrations of Vera's rotund backside as she shook Ketchup onto the meatloaf reminded Harv of the time he'd tried to make Jello shots in the kiddie pool last 4th of July... he may not have clear memories of the ensuing festivities, but as Vera slapped a wet load of Heinz on the steaming slab of meat, he knew there'd damn well be fireworks tonight.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

This would be his first time, so it had to be good: Not just "Yeah, pretty good for your first try, kid," but "Jeezus, kid, where'd you learn to do that?"; a real Heath Ledger as Joker badder-then-badass, get-the-f**k-away-from-me creepy that would make sure even the would-be actresses looking for a way into the biz would think thrice before trying to nail him on a casting couch.

[Dr. Drib]

She had the kind of face that gazed toward neither east nor west, but rather to the north and south, with the northern area bordering on baldness and the sourthern area bordering the outline of a jet-black moustache just above her upper lip, where – strangely protuberant – I could see a food particle stuck firmly between two front teeth, and thought - with an impending sense of doom bordering on the sublime - “My God, she’s beautiful!”


Don

[Dr. Drib]

“Welcome to my humble palace,” the Count said again, and with much pomp and majesty led Lady Orvath up the winding staircase where he paused to add, “I know you wish to visit your quarters, after such a long and trying journey,” smiling obsequiously all the while as he continued to lead Lady Orvath to the 13th floor, where – upon opening the heavy oak door -- he presented her with 3 medium-sized glass containers full of quarters, probably about $47 or $49 dollars, depending upon whether or not you made a mistake counting them when you put them in the little red wrappers that the Count had in the pockets of his blue jeans especially for this occasion.


Don

[Over]

"This was it. The moment she was waiting for. She finally has it in her hands. After spending all her life in its persuit, she couldn't believe it:"

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Everything Steve says makes sense !

You know, everything the Doctor says makes complete sense to me, and not just because he makes his pronouncements just before the needle of the syringe he's holding enters my left eye (which is kind of odd in itself, seeing as he is not a medical doctor).

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

The sympathetic vibrations of Vera's rotund backside as she shook Ketchup onto the meatloaf reminded Harv of the time he'd tried to make Jello shots in the kiddie pool last 4th of July... he may not have clear memories of the ensuing festivities, but as Vera slapped a wet load of Heinz on the steaming slab of meat, he knew there'd damn well be fireworks tonight.

WOOHOO! Time for a HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY! dance, I think.

Cheers,
Marc

[Dr. Drib]

“And so…we meet again,” the first Invisible Man said to the other, second Invisible Man who, because he couldn’t see the first Invisible Man, kept saying “Where are you,” and “I can’t see you,” over and over again; but the first Invisible Man, if you could have seen him, you would have realized that he, too, was unable to see the second Invisible Man, making both Invisible Men very uptight individuals who continued to bump into each other at odd moments, the only sound the grunts of pain and frustration as they knocked heads and elbows into each other, the night reverberating with their anguished words, issued over and over again, of “Where are you,” and “I still can’t see you,” and “Oh—Pardon me,” fading into the distance as you walked away from them.


Don

[Greg Anos]

Somehow, kneeling trussed-up in a huge cooking pot, over a roaring flame, was not what I had in mind the the tribal chief told his comely daughter to take me home and entertain me "missionary style".

[mjh215]

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

[Dr. Drib]

Even though Gramma is 93 years old, completely blind and unable to hear a lick, she shouldn’t be blamed for putting ‘Old Bill’ into the Microwave; after all, we still have three more cats and two dogs left.



Don