The Vent and Rant Thread

[beppe]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I know three girls who used to be boys, so the attitude isn't universal. Curiously, all are involved in long-term relationships with other girls. Their sex changed but their preferences didn't.
______
Dennis

Originally Posted by devilsadvocate

Unless they had functioning ovaries installed and jump-started, that wouldn't surprise me.



I'm going the H-T route with mine. I have no need for chesticles.

I really like the way they did it with Orlando. But that required some sorcery no? At least, accordingly to Virginia Wolf.

You know you get a fever and when you wake up you look at yourself in a mirror and whow, what a sight ... plus a series of side benefits, like eternal youth ...
Ah the old queen, she knew a thing or two.

[wyndslash]

Good morning!!

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by devilsadvocate

Unless they had functioning ovaries installed and jump-started, that wouldn't surprise me.

I wasn't surprised, exactly. But a fair number of post-op male-to-female transsexuals do in fact want relationships with men after the change.

I was just a little bemused that all three of the ones I know didn't.

It's difficult either way. I first met all three when they were still biologically male. Abby was no longer with her girlfriend the last I knew. Margaret had been an old male friend, married to a woman who was also an old friend, and had fathered a couple of kids before finally realizing she wanted to be female, and is involved in a stable long-term relationship with another woman. Callie, the most recent transition, went through dating hell. She was quite upfront about the fact that she was a post-op M->F transsexual looking for a relationship with another woman, and was in contact with an assortment of prospects who said "Oh, yeah, I'm okay with that", but when it got close and personal, discovered they weren't okay with it and broke off. She seems to be in a stable long term relationship now, and I'm delighted.
______
Dennis

[wyndslash]

@dmc: that's great for your friends

oh, my karma really went up o.o what are those for, anyway? xD

[natasha_fawn]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

I wasn't surprised, exactly. But a fair number of post-op male-to-female transsexuals do in fact want relationships with men after the change.

I was just a little bemused that all three of the ones I know didn't.

It's difficult either way. I first met all three when they were still biologically male. Abby was no longer with her girlfriend the last I knew. Margaret had been an old male friend, married to a woman who was also an old friend, and had fathered a couple of kids before finally realizing she wanted to be female, and is involved in a stable long-term relationship with another woman. Callie, the most recent transition, went through dating hell. She was quite upfront about the fact that she was a post-op M->F transsexual looking for a relationship with another woman, and was in contact with an assortment of prospects who said "Oh, yeah, I'm okay with that", but when it got close and personal, discovered they weren't okay with it and broke off. She seems to be in a stable long term relationship now, and I'm delighted.
______
Dennis

In my experience sexuality and gender don't necessarily have a lot to do with each other. Transgendered people can be straight, gay, bi just like cisgendered folks.

I've known a couple of couples in which one partner went through a transition with the support of their partner and they remained together. (The love and support I saw in those relationships was something I think a lot of people could aspire to.) Unfortunately I think most transgendered folks are more likely to run into the problem your friend Callie had. But maybe that's just me being pessimistic.

[wyndslash]

Originally Posted by natasha_fawn

Unfortunately I think most transgendered folks are more likely to run into the problem your friend Callie had. But maybe that's just me being pessimistic.

it's one of the reasons why i can't really make myself believe in "true love". for me there's no such thing, only until a big problem comes along and people would simply rather opt out. or maybe it's because i'm just that pessimistic xD plus the couples i've observed aren't really i don't know, committed? it's not like i know what goes on in their private lives, but my mom talks like no other. and my family usually feels pity for the caretaker (let's say for example one of the couples got into an accident and became a permanent invalid) and wouldn't blame the person if they left them. they didn't really consider "love" in the equation.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by wyndslash

@dmc: that's great for your friends

oh, my karma really went up o.o what are those for, anyway? xD

If you look at your User CP you can see who gave you karma for what post.

[wyndslash]

oh cool :P

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by natasha_fawn

In my experience sexuality and gender don't necessarily have a lot to do with each other. Transgendered people can be straight, gay, bi just like cisgendered folks.

Agreed.

I've known a couple of couples in which one partner went through a transition with the support of their partner and they remained together. (The love and support I saw in those relationships was something I think a lot of people could aspire to.) Unfortunately I think most transgendered folks are more likely to run into the problem your friend Callie had. But maybe that's just me being pessimistic.

In the case of my friend Margaret, the transition was not something she and her ex-wife Alice could work through, and they split up. (The last time I spoke to Margaret, she said Alice was getting remarried, and was pleased to see it. The bigger concern was the effect on the kids, but both were teens at the time and apparently adjusted.)

Margaret was rather grimly amused at the interest she was getting from guys while she was still pre-op, which evaporated once she had the surgery. Well, no surprise there, either.

And I don't think you're being pessimistic. I wasn't surprised when I heard about Callie's dating issues, and couldn't really blame the prospects. It's easy enough to say "Oh, yeah, I'm cool with that" in the abstract. It's a lot harder when it's concrete, and you are attempting to deal with a trans-gendered person on a relationship level. I'm just pleased Callie was able to find a relationship in a time I considered short, all things considered. (Less than a year after transition, I believe.) And as far as I know, Callie had done her homework, and expected problems as part of the process. In many respects, the physical aspects of the change are the easy part.

When the transitioning individual is part of a couple, there's an additional set of stresses. My old friend Tom was married to Dana. Dana decided she really wanted to be male, which terminated that relationship. The last I heard, Dana had done so, though I haven't seen him since he was still her and have no idea how he's getting along these days. But the process badly damaged Tom. It's been decades, but in many respects, he's still in recovery. (As I understand it, he had family issues that left him fragile going in, and simply unable to cope with the stresses involved. He's made no attempt to find another relationship - I think he's terrified of the idea.)
______
Dennis

[Stitchawl]

This is better than day-time TV!




Stitchawl

[wyndslash]

can't wait for lunch. am starving. we're having hainanese chicken rice

[SolRaven]

Originally Posted by kennyc

If you look at your User CP you can see who gave you karma for what post.

Look at yours...

Posts: 18,921
Karma: 990000
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Device: PRS-505; Kindle2; Droid X

[wyndslash]

Yes! I finally made enough to get the k3 and cover. i just can't decide what color to get...

[nohmi2]

Originally Posted by SneakySnake

Yes. I prefer "I feel pretty" even more frivolous!

Ooooh I hope I don't break a nail typing this!

*snake is not very tolerant of wholly ornamental women*

Who is?

If you are talking about the vacuous, brainless, bits of nonsense, then I
agree. Although, some of the nicest women that I have met, without hang-ups, are very attractive and well-groomed. Funnily, most of them are in the real-estate or beauty business and are self-employed. They seem to be quite happy in their own skins.

I seem to also attract gay men as friends, possibly it's because I can sense their sensitivity.

I don't think that any of us is in a position to judge any group.

Cheers

[wyndslash]

Originally Posted by nohmi2

I don't think that any of us is in a position to judge any group.

Cheers

nope, just me venting. i was basically saying that being an asian girl, my parents are far too overprotective of me o:

but anyway, i know several males models who are far prettier than any girl i've ever seen. i love androgyny.

of course, there is the fact that they are models...