FREE/BARGAIN - Romance + Discussion - 2016

[Atunah]

I can't sign in to harlequin, I haven't been on the site in a couple of weeks, but haven't redeemed anything. Not sure if I got locked out or if the site is just down.

I'll try again later and I guess then I generate a new password to see if that works.

[Little.Egret]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Unfortunately it does. I'd love to discuss books with friends and family but because of the media putting the genre in a negative light they think of romance books in a negative sense.

It's been a frequent genre problem for many many years.

"All Science Fiction is rubbish"

"What about xxx ?"

"Oh that's not really Science Fiction."

[Keslynn]

Originally Posted by Blossom

Unfortunately it does. I'd love to discuss books with friends and family but because of the media putting the genre in a negative light they think of romance books in a negative sense. I can't talk about it on my Facebook wall. I can't talk about it in real life. It's disheartening when you defend the genre over and over only to see an author totally not get romance isn't about the sexy. It's about the couple. You get tired of hearing terms mommy porn because I don't read porn. Not all romances have sex in them yet the whole genre is lump together thanks to misinformation.

Sent from my XT1528

That's the point of the article: outsiders are the ones who focus on the sex to minimize the genre. Romance readers know that sex is just part of the overall story.

Men's/unisex (thrillers, horror, etc) books have sex in them and nobody paints a whole genre as daddy porn. Nobody makes John Grisham fans feel like they can't talk about their favorite books on Facebook. Nobody feels the need to point out that a thriller plot is about the plot and not the sex. The only reason anybody cares that there's often sex in romance books is because it's a women's genre.

You're making almost the same argument by pointing out that not all romance has sex and it's about the plot. Of course it's about the plot/couple.

Sex is just a plot element that is no big deal in any other genre. Are there badly written romances where sex hijacks the plot? Yes, we've probably all read at least one. There are also badly written fantasy books where world-building hijacks the plot. Those fantasy books don't get as much hate though because world building isn't nearly as pointlessly controversial as women maybe enjoying a book with some sensuality or sex in it.

[Blossom]

You make some excellent points. I think you should have written the article.

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[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Little.Egret

It's been a frequent genre problem for many many years.

"All Science Fiction is rubbish"

"What about xxx ?"

"Oh that's not really Science Fiction."

It's not the same I can talk about sci-fi publicly. Romance is the taboo subject. "Oh my god You read those trashy novels!" "There just as bad as porn!" "I thought you was a good girl." "You was raised better than that." "You're poor husband!" These are just some quotes I've gotten over the years from people.

I cringe every time I'm in a group and they ask what books are you reading.

Then there was that one time my sister started reading my Lori Foster book out loud in front of everyone to prove I was a pervert. I'd never been so mortified. The book just happen to start off very sexy.

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[ScalyFreak]

Originally Posted by Blossom

It's not the same I can talk about sci-fi publicly. Romance is the taboo subject. "Oh my god You read those trashy novels!" "There just as bad as porn!" "I thought you was a good girl." "You was raised better than that." "You're poor husband!" These are just some quotes I've gotten over the years from people.

I cringe every time I'm in a group and they ask what books are you reading.

Then there was that one time my sister started reading my Lori Foster book out loud in front of everyone to prove I was a pervert. I'd never been so mortified. The book just happen to start off very sexy.

So... based on your more recent posts I'm going to take a bit of a gamble here and boldly state that the problem isn't actually the genre or how "outsiders" see it. The problem is that certain members of your friends and family have a negative opinion about something you enjoy, and have decided that it's okay for them to state their opinions in ways that hurt your feelings and humiliate you in front of other friends and family.

That, my friend, is an entirely different problem, and has nothing to do with the direction the genre is going. It has to do with the people around you, and how they choose to treat you.

[Hemmi]

I make no apologies for what I read. I read romance and erotica and everything in between. Some of my favorite books have little to no sex in them and others are just sex fests. Depends on what I'm in the mood for.

I don't care what other people choose to call the books I read, it's not going to change my mind about them and I'm still going to read them. I used to read those teen romances way back when I was a kid and graduated to Harlequin Presents in my teens and have never looked back.

I've heard the books I read called smut more than once. Doesn't bother me. I don't care if your reading preferences are the same as mine. I don't care if I have no one in my life that I can discuss books with. I have people online I can talk about them with if I want to but I'm not a discusser. I like what I like, you like what you like. It's all good. We don't all have to like the same things.

[ScalyFreak]

Originally Posted by Hemmi

I've heard the books I read called smut more than once. Doesn't bother me. I don't care if your reading preferences are the same as mine. I don't care if I have no one in my life that I can discuss books with. I have people online I can talk about them with if I want to but I'm not a discusser. I like what I like, you like what you like. It's all good. We don't all have to like the same things.

Exactly!

[Atunah]

I just watched a doku called "Love between the covers". I highly recommend it. I rented it from Amazon.

Would also be a great watch for wanna be romance authors. And folks that like to belittle and look down on romance authors, even authors of other genres.

It has Nora Roberts, Celeste Bradley, Eloisa James and many others in it. Beverly Jenkins story and highlight brought me some tears and so did Radclyffe's.

It touches on some of the things that are often said about romance and those that read and write it.

Many of us might not care what others think about what we are reading. I am one that always carried the old paperbacks around in the open. Was I belittled? All the time. Since I was already bullied and belittled for other things in those days, it was a bit harder to go and just brush it off all the time. It gets weary. I never ever got any comments when carrying around my Stephen King books, not once.

But it isn't just personal circles, its everywhere. Especially in today's world. How many times do I see articles with the dismissive attitude, comments on forums. Even other authors that want to jump on the romance bandwagon.
Not only is it all porn, its so limited, its so formulaic and why the heck does it have to have a boring HEA. Love Story is a romance and darn you all. Its on and on and on. And yes, it all picked up into another nasty gear when 50 shades came out. And I actually enjoyed the book just fine, but it gave new salvo to those snickering idiots again.

Everyone reacts different and we aren't all the same. Someone being able to brush it all off all the time has valid feelings just like those do that sometimes maybe have a harder time to do so. Period.

This doku makes so many good points. I really enjoyed it. Was also nice to see and hear some of the authors stories and why they write and the passion they have.

[cfrizz]

Originally Posted by Hemmi

I make no apologies for what I read. I read romance and erotica and everything in between. Some of my favorite books have little to no sex in them and others are just sex fests. Depends on what I'm in the mood for.

I don't care what other people choose to call the books I read, it's not going to change my mind about them and I'm still going to read them. I used to read those teen romances way back when I was a kid and graduated to Harlequin Presents in my teens and have never looked back.

I've heard the books I read called smut more than once. Doesn't bother me. I don't care if your reading preferences are the same as mine. I don't care if I have no one in my life that I can discuss books with. I have people online I can talk about them with if I want to but I'm not a discusser. I like what I like, you like what you like. It's all good. We don't all have to like the same things.

Bingo! Reading is a singular experience between you and the book. I have absolutely no need to discuss what I read with other people.

I am a happy and proud introvert, with no need to have a crowd of other people discussing or approving/disapproving of my life/likes!

And I'm sorry for you Blossom, you need to tell these people to go to hell because they obviously don't know the meaning of bounderies and find someone else to pick on and bully!

[library addict]

I read at all heat levels, though not as much toward the really erotic end of the spectrum.

I've had people (family and strangers) comment on what I'm reading as I'm sure most of us have. When I was younger I used to launch into a defense of the genre. Nowadays if someone makes a snide comment, I just say "That's right. And the next time I read a mystery I'm going to use the plot to plan a perfect murder." One time I asked a lady if she wanted to be the victim

I think you just reach a stage in life where you really don't care what anyone else thinks, at least about stuff like what you watch or read. It can be a hard road to get there, but very liberating once you do.

[danicca]

Perhaps you can find a book club nearby where you could discuss romance books with people who love them. Maybe library knows of one?

[ScalyFreak]

Originally Posted by cfrizz

And I'm sorry for you Blossom, you need to tell these people to go to hell because they obviously don't know the meaning of bounderies and find someone else to pick on and bully!

Agreed.

When someone has a genuine problem with something that makes you happy, something that is entirely harmless and not an imposition on them in any way, it's time to consider cutting those people out of your life. They have no right to make you feel uncomfortable about something that is none of their business to begin with.

Danicca's idea is a good one, if you enjoy talking to people about what you read. Personally, I'm with cfrizz on this one, I don't get why anyone would want to do that, but if doing so adds to someone's enjoyment of their reading, they absolutely should go out and find a book club for that purpose. (As long as I'm not required to participate. ) If the library isn't able to help, perhaps a local bookstore can help as well?

[Blossom]

I don't have those options. You don't get to choose your family and their social circles and when you have rely on those people you don't have the choice to be rude or do what you want. Life sucks which is why I read books.

There isn't a book club like that around here. I belong to one online though.

Sent from my XT1528

[Blossom]

Originally Posted by Atunah

I just watched a doku called "Love between the covers". I highly recommend it. I rented it from Amazon.

Would also be a great watch for wanna be romance authors. And folks that like to belittle and look down on romance authors, even authors of other genres.

It has Nora Roberts, Celeste Bradley, Eloisa James and many others in it. Beverly Jenkins story and highlight brought me some tears and so did Radclyffe's.

It touches on some of the things that are often said about romance and those that read and write it.

Many of us might not care what others think about what we are reading. I am one that always carried the old paperbacks around in the open. Was I belittled? All the time. Since I was already bullied and belittled for other things in those days, it was a bit harder to go and just brush it off all the time. It gets weary. I never ever got any comments when carrying around my Stephen King books, not once.

But it isn't just personal circles, its everywhere. Especially in today's world. How many times do I see articles with the dismissive attitude, comments on forums. Even other authors that want to jump on the romance bandwagon.
Not only is it all porn, its so limited, its so formulaic and why the heck does it have to have a boring HEA. Love Story is a romance and darn you all. Its on and on and on. And yes, it all picked up into another nasty gear when 50 shades came out. And I actually enjoyed the book just fine, but it gave new salvo to those snickering idiots again.

Everyone reacts different and we aren't all the same. Someone being able to brush it all off all the time has valid feelings just like those do that sometimes maybe have a harder time to do so. Period.

.

Exactly. You get it.



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